Kasuga glanced at the address written on the large package he held within his arms. "Ayumi, Ranma!" he called up the stairwell. "There's a package here for you!" "For us?" Ranma asked as she leapt down the stairs. "Who'd be sending *both* of us a package?" She had her answer a few seconds later when Kasuga handed her the package. Ayumi, who had decided to take the stairs at a normal speed, reached the bottom of the stairs. "Who's it from? It's not addressed to 'Mr. and Mrs. Tendo Ayumi,' is it?" Ranma glared at him for a moment. "It's from Ryomi. I guess that's why it's addressed to both of us." Why would Ryomi send her anything at all? She was well aware that Ryomi wanted herself to be the future Mrs. Tendo Ayumi - however repulsive Ranma believed the thought of marrying Ayumi to be. But what was it that kept her from simply turning the baka over to someone who was honestly, openly in love with him, such as Ryomi, Shampoo or Kodachi? It couldn't be that *she* had developed feelings for him, could it? She carefully ripped the package open, finding a letter resting atop a cluster of pineapples. Ranma reached for the letter and unfolded it. "Here," she muttered, pushing the box of pineapples toward Ayumi. "She says these are for you." "Why would she be sending these to me?" the boy blinked. Ranma gave him another disbelieving stare. Ayumi would never figure it out. Ryomi was in love with him and he kept missing all of the obvious signs! She sighed. "I'm currently on a training voyage in Hokkaido," the letter read. "The days where I am staying are hot, but I'm sure it'll be worth it. I promise I'll be back soon so that I can test what I've learned against you." Ryomi had always been a rival of sorts to Ranma... however, over time she'd become more of a friend to Ranma than an enemy, a change which had been helped along by Ryomi's transformation into Ranma's pet pig, P-chan, and the establishment of Shampoo as another rival out to snare Ayumi for her husband. Ayumi glanced over Ranma's shoulder at the letter, then at the pineapples, and frowned. "You don't suppose she's really in Okinawa, do you?" Ranma shrugged, smoothing out the package's wrapping with one hand. "That's where the postmark says the package is from." Destiny's Wish Part Thirty-One: Just When You Thought It Was Safe... written by Mike Koos ---------------------- The cursed girl was unaware that, at that particular instant, an unwelcome intruder happened to be tearing through her possessions. Ranma normally liked to keep her room locked while she was in it, to keep certain people from barging in on her or annoying her - especially after Happosai had declared himself one of the members of the Tendo household; now that she had the option of true privacy, she was determined to enjoy it every chance she had. Today, however, Happosai was taking a brief break from his established routine of chasing after every teenaged girl he could find to actively targeting one solitary girl: Ranma. The young Saotome was wonderfully energetic and strong... a definite firebrand. Something Ranma inherited from her mother, no doubt. Yet unlike her mother, Ranma was less aware of many of the things Happosai was capable of doing. Perhaps this meant that he could pull the same tricks on a younger, female member of the Saotome family line. He soon found what he was searching for in the drawers of Ranma's dresser... the girl's underwear drawer. With an undeniable streak of glee Happosai plunged his hands into the drawer and came up with a pair of her underwear. "Oooooooh! I've found them at last!" He held his prize up to the light. "Ranma-chan's *panties*!" His hands trembling, Happosai clutched the thin garment close to his chest, crying. "What luck that they should come into my possession... it must be a gift from the heavens!" All at once he became aware of a presence rapidly approaching him from behind. "Hm?" Who would *dare* attempt to sneak up on Happosai, grand Honored Master of musabetsu kakutou? The presence turned out to be a small, black pig he couldn't recall ever encountering before this moment in Time. Happosai tightened his grip on Ranma's underwear and dodged the swipe the pig made with one hoof as it flew past. But his attacker wasn't satisfied to leave it at a miss. The pig chased him throughout the room, bouncing from every surface like a Happosai-seeking missile that was irreversibly locked onto its target. Certainly no problem for an accomplished martial artist to avoid... They settled in the middle of the room opposite each other, trading angry glares. Happosai narrowed his eyes as the pig bared its fangs and offered a warning squeal. "How DARE you attack me!" he rebuked the animal, circling it. "I am merely defending Ranma-chan's precious underwear! You, pig! Why, I'll bet you're here to steal it--" A sock-clad foot brought Happosai crashing face-first to the floor. "And who are YOU to accuse someone of stealing underwear?" Ranma pinned him to the floor with her left knee before retrieving what Happosai had attempted to steal. She held her arms open wide for her pet to leap into. "P-chan! You're back!" Ranma smiled. "Thank you for keeping me safe from this pervert, P-chan!" She giggled. ** ** ** "Oh, I see. That pig is your pet, Ranma-chan." Happosai made a slight face. "What a strange pet to have." It was late evening now; after Ranma had sent him flying through the roof yet another time for going through her possessions, Happosai had taken the opportunity to pay several other girls a visit. *That* chase had lasted quite a while. Ranma frowned. "Don't *you* start." She decided to phrase her next question to spite Ayumi. "Aren't you glad to see P-chan's back, Ayumi?" For all the boy's supposed claims of being mature, he always showed a seeming touch of jealousy whenever she paid attention to her little pet pig. Why would he be jealous of her P-chan? she wondered. Ayumi could care less one way or another about her goldfish, so what was so special about P-chan? It was rather silly of Ayumi to be insanely jealous of P-chan, if that was indeed the case. "Hmph," snorted Ayumi, who was trying to focus on trimming his fingernails. The next thing Ayumi knew, Happosai was prodding and poking him. "Mmm, do I sense a bit of envy there, Ayumi? Hmm? Hm?" "No, you don't!" It was Ranma's turn to snort. She excused herself from the table just as Kasuga brought another bowl of oranges into the family room. "'Night, everyone." The eldest of the three Tendo brothers raised an eyebrow and followed her into the hall. "Going to bed already, Ranma?" Ranma nodded, shifting P-chan to a better position within her arms. "Yeah. Oyasumi nasai." Happosai observed from the edge of the door leading to the family room. He folded his arms. "Well, if she likes that sort of thing..." A few seconds later, Ayumi heard him say, "I'm off to bed!" He reached back and grabbed for whatever he could grasp of the old man's gi. First Ryomi was staying with an unaware Ranma as her pet, and now the old pervert wanted to snuggle up next to her in bed as she slept! Well, he'd just have to do something about that... "Hold it, pervert." When Ayumi drew Happosai back he saw that the man had somehow come up with a costume to make himself look like a certain someone's pet. "But I'm P-chan!" he told himself. Had Ryomi seen Happosai dressed up as her pig half, she'd more than likely want to kill him. Ayumi took a deep breath. "Oh, really. And just *where* do you plan on sleeping, P-chan?" Ranma sighed as she eased her blouse over her arms, then off. This day had been largely uneventful, now that she thought about it. No lunatics showing up from out of nowhere to fawn over her or Ayumi, no ludicrous martial-arts challenges - honestly, a person could force Ayumi to do practically *anything* by placing the words 'Martial Arts' before the title - and no idiotic schemes to get either her or Ayumi to fall in love with someone. Only a questionable package from Ryomi, and Happosai running his hands through her underwear like a child in a candy store. She'd made a vow to disinfect and wash the underwear as soon as possible. After all, who knew where the old pervert's hands had been? Ranma heard the sound of someone's footsteps pounding against the hallway floor outside her bedroom... someone was running. Coming closer. And every so often, a slight scuffle... "Hey! Come BACK here, you--" Ayumi's voice. she wondered what Ayumi was up to this time - an instant before Ayumi and Happosai crashed through her door. "--old......" Confronted with the sight of Ranma wearing nothing above her waist save for a bra, Ayumi's eyes widened and his voice immediately died. The cursed girl, realizing what Ayumi was staring at, hurriedly brought the blouse in her hands up to cover her chest... her face turning red in a conflicting mix of anger and embarrassment. Even with the temporary loss of his rational thoughts, Ayumi could tell he was in deep trouble. Ranma heard her mother's voice in her thoughts, urging her to be more polite. She might have followed that advice if P-chan hadn't chosen that moment to rake her hooves across Ayumi's face a few times. Ayumi recovered from his stupor, caught the pig in midair and slammed her severely to the floor with one hand. Still covering her chest with her blouse Ranma stormed up to him and yanked her semi-conscious pet out of his hands. "Uh, Ranma," the boy stammered. "...I'm... I mean, it's... we... I didn't come in here to stare at you or anything..." Ranma hastily drew her blouse back on, then glanced about the room to see where she'd left her Kendo practice sword. There - at the foot of the bed. She had been experimenting with learning a bit of Kendo; not only would knowing Kendo provide an advantage in matches against fighters like Kunou, it would be good training for the day when her mother eventually passed her katana down to her daughter. It wasn't that Ranma intended to use the heirloom for commonplace purposes... but it would be nice to know she could use the sword if it came down to it. Ayumi saw Ranma pick up her Kendo sword and nervously figured he knew what she had in mind. Happosai hid behind the far side of Ranma's trashcan, waiting for the pounding he knew Ayumi was going to receive. He hadn't been chasing young women around for countless years to fail to recognize the signs. Better Ayumi than him, right? Ranma sighed, keeping the sword pointed toward the floor. "Don't worry about it. It was a common mistake to make..." she said in a reassuring tone. Ayumi began to relax. She batted him out her open window with the aid of the sword. "...FOR A PERVERT!" When she heard Ayumi land in the koi pond outside, Ranma leaned out her window in time to see Ayumi surface from the water, a lily pad draped across the right side of his head. "Who're you calling a pervert?" he yelled. "I was just trying to keep the old pervert away from you..." "Baka! I can take care of myself! Who said I needed your protection?" Ranma shouted back at him. "You can't leave me or P-chan alone for one night, can you?" A weathered voice beside her agreed. "That's right!" Uh-oh. She recognized that voice. Ranma spun on her heels to confront Happosai - only to find that the old pervert was wearing a costume to make himself look exactly like *her* P-chan. He softened his eyes and offered her the cutest pig's squeal he could muster... In the following instant he was airborne, courtesy of a well-placed kick. Ranma locked her window shut and slumped into the chair behind her desk. How did the old pervert do it? Tofu-sensei, she could justify being able to mask her presence. But Happosai? He could hide his presence as well, so Ranma knew she would have to come up with a way to counteract that 'ability' of his. As soon as she, her heart and her breath were once again in the same time zone. Well, at least the *real* P-chan was safe. She again glanced around the room to see if she could spot her pet's hiding place. "P-chan?" Remarkably, the little pig seemed to be smarter than people would normally believe... When P-chan didn't respond, she dropped to her hands and knees to give the room a thorough searching. Ranma sighed. Her P-chan also had the tendency to wander away from her owner and disappear - which Ayumi always likened to Ryomi's poor sense of direction. Couldn't the baka see that they weren't the same thing? ** ** ** Ryomi surfaced from the water in the hot bath with fury blazing in her eyes. "How DARE you do something like that!" She folded her arms and rested them on the tiled rim of the bath to keep her body from the chest down out of Ayumi's sight... even though the boy had his back to her in a deliberate effort not to look at her. "Oh, shut up," he shot back, nonplussed. Getting Ryomi away from Ranma was the first step in his attempt to keep Happosai out of the tomboy's bed... because, as much as he hated to admit it, he would have preferred to work *with* Ryomi against the old pervert rather than risk conflicting with each other's efforts to beat Happosai up. Plus, he was willing to bet the Eternally Lost Bulldozer would fare better against Happosai in her true form - especially since Ryomi was a girl. "And while I'm at it," Ryomi continued to grouse, "what's the story with that weird old pervert? He was having so much fun playing with Ranma's underwear..." She shuddered. "Don't tell me YOU'RE working with him!" Ayumi knew that this wasn't the last time anyone would make this particular assumption. "No! Why does everyone *always* think I'm working with that twisted little pervert?" For a brief second he thought he could hear an amused chuckle from Ryomi, but dismissed it as a trick of the acoustics in the bathroom. Any moment now, Ranma could open the door to the bathroom and find him there along with her 'rival' - and even though he hadn't removed his clothes or stared at Ryomi, this was most likely what Ranma considered to be a 'malletable offense.' He heard Ryomi grab a small basin and fill it with cold water from the tap. "And he's even pretending to be me! I'm gonna kill him!" Splash. "Huh?" A small pig bounced over the rim of the bath and made a run for the door. Ayumi snarled. "Why, so YOU can go back to sleeping in her bed!?" Sheesh! Whenever people were accusing other people of being perverts, why didn't anyone say anything about *Ryomi*? Didn't the Eternally Lost Girl have any shame whatsoever? Apparently not. Well, he'd simply have to show her just how wrong she was. The way she took advantage of Ranma's kindness by pretending to be the tomboy's pet... One of these days, he'd tell Ranma exactly what was going on. Then, both of them would kill him for different reasons. As he chased P-chan through the hallway on her way to Ranma's bedroom, Happosai hopped forward from behind them to get ahead of them, using P-chan's head as a springboard. They followed him into Ranma's room, and the chase began. Ranma tried to bury herself under her pillow and covers, hoping she could ignore the fact that there was an old pervert, a young pervert and a pig careening full-tilt around every last inch of her room. She cringed at the sound of things breaking. What *were* they breaking? Did she really want to know, she wondered? Given her temper, of course, there was only so much she could take of the melee. Steaming, she took P-chan into her arms once more and punted the perverts out of her room into the hall. "I'm glad you want to help, P-chan," she said while drawing out her mallet and using her Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken-boosted speed to nail a set of boards in place over her door. It would have to do for a lock until she could - no, Ayumi could - get the door fixed. "But please, don't encourage them, okay?" P-chan didn't respond. She glanced back at the spot on the bed where she had left her pet. There, on her bed, was Happosai... tossing aside the smaller mallet he'd just used to hammer P-chan into unconsciousness. "There! The final obstacle is no more." She saw that the old lech was one step away from drooling over her. Ranma froze, accidentally dropping her mallet. How had *he* gotten back into her room after she'd kicked him out? And furthermore... "What did you do to my P-chan?" If the pervert wanted to be sent flying into low orbit again, she had no problem obliging that request. A low, sinister laugh emerged from Happosai's throat. He advanced on her, moving faster than she could react... "I *am* your P-chan. C'mon, let's go to bed together!" Ayumi heard Ranma's scream from where he had landed in the hallway. What? He couldn't let that happen! Ranma had nailed her door shut. He was determined not to let that stop him... A single shoulder-ram had the door opened. "RANMA--!!" He found Happosai standing over Ranma's still form, grinning lecherously in anticipation of what he was going to do with her, and Ranma was... fast asleep? "Old pervert... what have you done to her?" If he'd hurt her at all... Nothing would erase the grin from Happosai's face now. "I used the 'Goodnight Kiss' touch on her to make her sleep," he cackled. Scooping the sleeping Ranma and her pillow into his arms, he carried both through her window, taking to the rooftops. "Farewell! It's a pity you can't join us as well!" Ayumi followed them. "Come back here, you old pervert!" To think that Happosai could take advantage of Ranma so easily... he'd just have to triple his efforts to protect her from the pervert. Astoundingly, no matter how much Ranma was being jostled around as Happosai trotted from rooftop to rooftop, she did not wake up. Hmm... maybe he could ask Dr. Tofu if she had the specifics on the 'Goodnight Kiss' pressure-point technique later, so that he could make her sleep when necessary. It would sure help end a lot of arguments. And fun, too. Wonderful party trick. He'd tap the pressure point right as she pulled out that stupid mallet of hers - where did Ranma store it? - and she'd collapse to the ground in a deep sleep, her mallet tumbling onto *her* head for a change. Wait. Wasn't there something else he was supposed to be paying attention to right now? Ayumi exhaled through clenched teeth and renewed his faster pace. There was no getting around the fact - with Happosai around, Ranma was in big trouble. A few days ago Ranma had claimed that she would be able to take care of herself in the wake of the stupid pervert's 'attacks'... and then Happosai effortlessly subdued her with a simple pressure-point technique. The whole *focus* of Happosai's version of musabetsu kakutou seemed to revolve around young women! Who knew what *other* tricks the pervert had developed for taking advantage of defenseless girls... "THERE you are! Prepare to DIE!!" ...Even the ones who thought they were more than a match for the little old lech. Happosai glanced up, the moonlight full in his face, in time to see Ryomi descending upon him at full speed. He swerved to his right... allowing her to plow unobstructed into the roof feet-first. Soon, a notable pile of shingles were gathered where her foot had been. He blinked at her, not recognizing what appeared to be an angry young man. "Who are you supposed to be?" The distraction gave Ayumi a chance to snatch Ranma away from Happosai. Still asleep, she unknowingly snuggled into Ayumi's arms - but the boy didn't recognize this, his attention concentrated entirely on his current opponent. Ayumi planted a foot squarely in Happosai's face, which Ryomi followed up with a strong right cross. Happosai skittered backward in apparent retreat. "Have you two no shame? Picking on a helpless old man..." snorted Ayumi. "We're not picking on a helpless old man. We're beating up an annoying old pervert!" And he deserved all of it, too... for all the troubles he'd brought everyone since his arrival. Aside from his pursuits of all things young and female - well, mostly teen-aged girls, anyway - Happosai wasn't above stealing meals from restaurants or liquor from stores and telling everyone to simply charge it to 'the Tendo dojo'... or worse, direct to Ayumi. Naka had had to keep the books ahead of the old man's restaurant-hopping. Compared to Happosai's... appetite? Genma's mooching and freeloading measured at the opposite end of the scale. Ranma didn't count alongside her father; while she didn't have a job, she was the first person to actively help Kasuga cook and take care of the household chores. That left Ayumi, whose martial-artist misadventures Naka hoped were building up to the day when Ayumi would assume control of the Tendo dojo and then turn it into a *real* money-making business - with Naka's help, of course. The few regular students the dojo had now were far from enough to keep the household out of the red, hence Naka's aggressive schemes to extract money from whomever he could. The lack of students was the second reason why Ranma and Ayumi had been manipulated into an arranged marriage. Their particular schools of musabetsu kakutou had to survive, somehow... Ayumi was determined never to carry on either of the schools as a student of Happosai's. "He's right, Ayumi-san," Ryomi lowered her guard. "There's no honor in fighting an opponent who cannot fight back--" Unfortunately, with her guard down she never sensed Happosai springing up behind her to knock her out with a mallet to the head. It was the second time this evening he'd disabled her with that tactic - though the old pervert wasn't aware of that, of course. Happosai tossed the mallet over his shoulder. "Serves you right for dropping your guard! But you know better than this boy, eh, Ayumi?" Ayumi knew the fact that Happosai believed Ryomi was a boy was a note in her favor, even though Ryomi despised it whenever she was mistaken for a boy. Her mop of brown-black hair and the canvas clothes she wore tended to give her a masculine image she didn't want. When Happosai discovered Ryomi was a girl, Ayumi figured, the old man would be going after her about as much as he did Ranma. "Oh, shut up, old man," Ayumi scowled, before launching a new attack of his own. His target vanished as Ayumi's fist sliced through the air where Happosai had stood. Then the man was in front of his face, touching a pair of fingers encased in a false pig's hoof to his forehead... "You still need training, too." And Ayumi was airborne again. Ryomi strained to draw herself up. "Boy!?" she snarled, forcing the haze from her thoughts. "I'm gonna *kill* him..." She would never make it to her intended victim. Ayumi dropped out of the sky a second later, his head impacting against hers and shoving her chin forward into another pile of shingles. Happosai snorted a laugh, shaking his head in disdain. He cast a quick glance at Ranma, who was still sleeping peacefully on the roof a few yards away, oblivious to everything taking place around her. "Time for bed, then!" he sang, grabbing a pillow and sprinting toward her. "W-wait..." But Ayumi wasn't recovered enough from the blow to his head to prevent Happosai from snuggling up to Ranma's side. "Ranma-chan--!!" "Mmmm......" Ranma brought up a hand and ran her fingers through her hair. Then, she brought her elbow back down upon Happosai's face. Another restless shift led to Ranma inadvertently punting him into low orbit. Ayumi watched Ranma continuously pummel the old pervert with her shifting. "Is she always this restless when she sleeps?" he asked Ryomi, who was also sprawled on the rooftop a foot or two from him. "Not always," shrugged Ryomi. "Sometimes, she's worse." ** ** ** "Well!? What are you waiting for, Ranma?" She ignored her father's taunt and concentrated. It was a tired old game, really; Ranma's skills had developed to the point where any match between them could be ended easily by her pummeling or malleting him quickly and then be done with it. She'd decided lately to purposely hold back against her father - while beating him up was a terrific way to let off some steam, the *real* point of these matches was to encourage her skills to develop further. Not that she needed to give the old man an ego boost by letting him last longer, of course. Saotome Genma was practically overloaded with enough of that as it was. Ranma still had no idea what had happened to her the night before. She had a memory of Happosai advancing on her, dressed in a costume that was intended to make him look like her pet P-chan, and... that was it. She'd awoken in her bed this morning under her covers, P-chan sleeping fitfully at her side - and feeling as though she'd just had the most peaceful night's rest Ranma had experienced in years. That was odd. Well, aside from the revitalized feeling, nothing else seemed to be wrong with her body. Had Happosai... had he... had the old pervert *done* anything to her? The possibilities, especially the ones she didn't want to think about, contributed to the cold shiver making a commute along her spine. Ayumi. Ranma breathed a short sigh of relief. Ayumi had been around; he would know if Happosai had done anything to her. Maybe even tried to stop him... Tendo Ayumi, her hero. She snorted. At any rate, if anyone knew what had happened to her last night, chances were it would be Ayumi. So the first order of business this morning would be to ask him about it. Or it would have been, had her father not found Ranma standing outside the door to Ayumi's bedroom ready to knock, and dragged her downstairs to the dojo. "I want you to attack me NOW, Ranma. I haven't got all day." Ranma narrowed her eyes and charged him. When Genma put out a fist or foot to attack her she countered each move by blocking them. She let this continue for nearly three minutes if just to prove to the old man how she was only toying with him. He was nothing but an annoying loudmouth now... Finally, Genma had had enough of the game. He concentrated, extending his ki... and - much to Ranma's surprise - an enlarged projection of a giant panda appeared above his head. Ranma barely had time to overcome her shock before the panda image swatted her through the rear wall of the dojo. She felt pain running through her back as she pulled herself back into the dojo. The old man was going to have to explain to Naka why the dojo walls needed fixing, *again*... "That's one of the old pervert's techniques!" she said, recognizing it at once. Genma leveled a stern gaze upon her. "Yes. And see how you were unable to stand against it?" "That's because you surprised me! I didn't know you could do that, too!" If *he* could do it, then so could she... right? She'd already attempted to develop her own form of the technique, or simply to project her ki at all, but had yet to come up with any worthwhile results. Learning the proper way to focus her own ki without any references whatsoever wasn't exactly an easy task. "I'll have none of your excuses, Ranma. Your speed and skill may allow you to *remotely* hold your own against me, if I allow it, but all that means absolutely nothing to the Honored Master. You'll never be able to last more than a fraction of a second against him!" He increased the intensity of his stare. "Do you know *why* that is, Ranma?" "It's because you are a *girl*! If you were a true boy, not just a girl forced to take the form of a boy, you would stand a better chance of defeating the Honored Master!" Ranma frowned. Genma shook his head. "I was wrong to ever think of teaching you how to fight, Ranma. There is no way that a girl can ever have the edge that a male fighter does. I am deeply ashamed to have had a weak daughter instead of a son." Those who passed by the Tendo residence this day could clearly hear the sounds of a furious Ranma imbedding her father in the dojo walls, ceiling and floor several times. Soun was approaching the door to the dojo when Ranma stormed out, resting her mallet on one shoulder. "Ranma? Is something the matter?" "No." Knowing better than to confront Ranma when she was this angry, he let her pass. It made more sense to check on the condition of whoever it was that had angered her in the first place, and the condition of the dojo after her response to such an ill-advised course of action. He was greeted by a relatively familiar sight: the landscape of the dojo was pockmarked with far too many Genma-shaped holes to count. So it was Genma who had antagonized her. Well, he had to be in one of these craters... "Saotome-kun?" he called. A weak and slightly strangled voice drifted down from the ceiling. "Yes, Tendo-kun?" Soun sighed and walked to the storage closet to retrieve the step-ladder. Knowing Ranma, her final blow was liable to have embedded Genma quite a distance into the ceiling. As his hands touched the ladder, however, Genma fell from the ceiling into one of the holes on the floor. When Genma's eyes opened again, he saw Soun kneeling on the floor above him. "Ayumi doesn't listen because he's only a boy," Soun began, "but why do *you* constantly insist on provoking Ranma, Saotome-kun? You know what she's capable of doing when you cause her to become angry. As a martial artist, I thought you would know better than to give your opponent what he or she needs to win." "It's for her own good," came the strained reply. "Coddling Ranma would only make her weak." "'Weak' is not one of the words I would use to describe your daughter. Besides, there is another reason not to upset her... or have you forgotten?" "What would that be?" Soun stood. "Your agreement with Nodoka. Considering how Ranma feels about you, she won't hesitate to tell Nodoka everything you've done." Pause. "Don't worry about it, Tendo-kun," Genma hauled himself out from the hole. "I've done nothing to violate the agreement I made with my wife." "I'll have to take your word for it," the other said, heading for the door. "I trust cleaning up a little in here won't keep you from playing our usual game?" "Never," Genma replied. "Good. I would hate to think you didn't want to play because you were afraid of my skill." Laughter filled the hall. "I believe *I* am the one who usually wins, Tendo-kun." "We'll see, then, won't we?" And Soun left the room. Genma slumped against the nearest wall. He hadn't done anything to violate the agreement; that much was true. But there was nothing to stop Nodoka from showing her anger once she learned how he had just treated their daughter. No doubt about it - he had just placed himself in a great deal of trouble. ** ** ** Nodoka brought her right hand up to knock on the door. It pained her that she wouldn't allow herself the luxury of calling ahead to let Ranma know she was coming for a visit - on those occasions when she knew she was definitely going to visit - but surprise visits had their advantage, too. Nodoka enjoyed watching Ranma's face light up when she came to the door, for example. Plus, keeping her visits a surprise allowed her a better chance of catching Genma if her husband wanted to hide from her again after doing something routinely stupid. Kasuga opened the door. "Ah! Hello, Mrs. Saotome. Please, come in." "Thank you, Kasuga." Nodoka stepped into the foyer, pausing to remove her shoes. "Is Ranma here?" "I think she is... oh, right. She said she would be out behind the dojo breaking bricks for a while. That's likely where she is." From what she knew of her daughter, Ranma only resorted to breaking bricks when she had a problem or a fair amount of stress to work through. "I see. Well, I think I'll go out there and visit her. Would you do me a favor, Kasuga?" "Okay." "Don't tell anyone else that I am here." Kasuga nodded, watching Nodoka make her way to the yard. Why did Mrs. Saotome insist on being so secretive? "Otousan no bakabakabakabakabakaBAKA!" Ranma yelled... each word timed to coincide with a punch. Having run out of bricks to break, she had moved on to the large straw practice dummy she'd constructed to look like a panda - and to that end, Ranma had tied a panda face mask which she'd bought at the recent festival to the top of the post. The panda-dummies never lasted long. Her final punch shot through the straw, finding the thick wooden post and cleanly breaking it in half. She stepped back from her handiwork, breathing heavily. Even tearing her way through several bricks and a practice dummy loosely resembling her father in his panda form hadn't rid her of her anger. How *dare* he do this to her! To spend a large part of sixteen years training her to be one of the best fighters in the world - Saotome Ranma, the first student and heir to the Saotome class of musabetsu kakutou - and then tell her it had all been one galactic waste of time, because a girl could never be as good a fighter as a boy? She was tempted to go back to the dojo and show her father just how much of a fighter she wasn't... "Ranma?" The call caused Ranma to start in surprise. It wasn't Kasuga's voice that she heard. Not Naka's, Ayumi's voice... nor her father's or Mr. Tendo. No, the owner of the voice was female... She spun about to face the newcomer, knowing exactly who she would see waiting there. "Mom!" Ranma's expression changed from one of disgust to happiness. Mother and daughter shared a hug. "Hello, Ranma-chan." Despite the smile Ranma wore on her face, Nodoka noted the distress still evident in the girl's eyes. Her guess had been correct. Now, to find out what was troubling Ranma. "There you are, Ranma-chan! I was beginning to think you were avoiding me!" Both Nodoka and Ranma reflexively winced at the sound of Happosai's voice. Nodoka scowled. Her hands searched for the case in which she kept her treasured katana. Happosai abruptly popped into existence with his hands reaching out to grasp for Ranma's chest. Ranma's lips formed a tight line. She had her target locked. One downward swing of her mallet swatted Happosai out of the air before he could reach his intended target. He cautiously felt the bump forming on his head. "Why did you do that for? All I wanted to do was cuddle up to you again--" Ranma froze. Again? Happosai became acutely aware of the other female individual standing close to Ranma. "YOU!" growled Nodoka. "Stay away from my daughter!" "Why... why hello, Nodoka-chan. I'm surprised to see you here." He watched the rhythm of her breath, the sun reflecting from the sharpened metal blade of Nodoka's katana. "I'm glad to see you." "What a surprise. Any twisted little fantasies you have involving Ranma are through right now. Forever. Do you hear me?" Happosai hmphed. "I have no fantasies involving Ranma." Nodoka's response was to cut a swath through the air inches from the top of Happosai's head. "That wasn't the right answer. What do you take me for, pervert? Even my idiot husband knows the type of thoughts you have about young women!" A smile crept onto the man's face. "Oh. You're just jealous because you're too old for me to chase now, Nodoka-chan." "See? As if no one knows where your mind is." Ranma smirked. "I want you to keep your hands *and* your hentai fantasies away from Ranma, do you hear that, you old lech?" Another snort. "I am Happosai, Honored Master and undefeated champion of the art of musabetsu kakutou, and you deem to tell me what I can or can't do? I think not." To prove this point, he started to dance around Ranma, groping at whatever came within reach. Ranma growled in sheer anger. A second later, Happosai was sent flying into the horizon from a combined effort by both Ranma's feet and Nodoka's katana. Nodoka warily returned her sword to its case. "Ranma... why didn't you tell me that old lech was here?" "He just arrived," said Ranma, apologetically. "He came looking for us, and Dad and Mr. Tendo let him stay here. And now he's trying to train Ayumi to be like him." "It figures." Nodoka wasn't at all surprised that Soun or Genma had given up so easily to their self-proclaimed 'Honored Master,' or that Happosai was attempting to turn Ayumi into the next generation of martial-artist perverts. Happosai *did* have skill, but he put it to self-serving, girl-chasing uses. Where was the honor in that? She made up her mind to visit more often. Someone needed to keep Happosai in check. As the only girl in the household, Ranma had been placed in considerable jeopardy. She would be damned if she let the lech continue to bother her daughter, however. The final option was to take Ranma away to live with her, if it was absolutely necessary... "Mom...?" Ranma's call interrupted her thoughts. "Sorry, dear. I was just thinking about a few things." The cursed girl understood. Her next question came hesitantly. "...Would you have preferred me to be a boy, instead?" "Ranma," her mother met her gaze. "We've had this discussion. I love you the way you are. Even if you had been born a boy, that would not change the way I felt about you." "Even if I was locked in my boy form?" she persisted. It could be done; Cologne had the knowledge. The Chinese elder had given Ayumi a temporary curse and locked him in female form all for the sake of a little training - except she hadn't succeeded in teaching anyone but Ranma the Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken. Ranma did not think Cologne would be so quick to trap a girl in a boy's body. "You will always be my daughter." Nodoka studied the younger woman. Ranma *had* been upset about something... "Does this have anything to do with the reason why you're here breaking things?" Ranma appeared embarrassed for a second. "...Yeah. Dad told me he was wrong in teaching me how to fight, because a girl can never be better than a boy, and that he's 'deeply ashamed to have had a weak daughter instead of a son.'" "I should have known," Nodoka exhaled, which ended in a barely audible growl. She was going to have to have a talk with Genma later. Knowing Ranma, she had most likely had her own 'discussion' with her father about his views on the opposite gender. "Don't worry about it, Ranma. Now, let's get you cleaned up and go upstairs to your room." Ranma's room had developed quite a bit from its barely-furnished origins. After her unexpected arrival, she'd only had an old desk, chair and chest-of-drawers in the room in addition to her bedroll... and afterward, had added bits and pieces to it whenever she could. Presently, it looked as though Ranma had been living in the room for years. There were no signs that she could simply pack everything up and leave to travel again on foot. No... like it or not, she was here to stay. Besides, where *else* would she hang the little wooden duck plaque bearing her name, if not her bedroom door? Ayumi had commented that the room definitely looked like a girl's room. Too much like a girl's room, in fact. As if he'd ever *seen* another girl's room in person... Her mother was seated on the end of her bed when she returned from taking a shower. Ranma was using a towel to dry her hair rather than use a hair dryer; she'd picked up the habit from years on the road, where one wasn't guaranteed a roof overhead and electricity to use underneath that roof. Running water was still preferable to bathing in a stream or a tin barrel filled with water at a campsite, though. Without giving the motions much thought she tossed the towel into her laundry hamper and reached for a comb. "You're going to braid your hair again, aren't you?" Nodoka asked in a quiet voice. Ranma paused on hearing the question. "Should I not be braiding it?" she threw out a question of her own in the hope of seeing where this discussion was heading. "I'm not saying you should or shouldn't; but I have never seen you wear your hair any other way. I have the feeling you even sleep with your hair braided into a pigtail. So... tell me, when did you start to braid your hair?" Her daughter shrugged. "Dad's never liked the thought of fighters with long hair. He wanted me to have short hair. When I let my hair grow out and wore it in a ponytail, he tried to force me to get it cut - even trying to cut it a few times himself - but I refused to get it cut." She took her seat at the desk. "I didn't really get the idea to braid it until we went through China and I saw a bunch of people doing it there. The weird thing is, once I braided my hair Dad never bothered me about it again." Nodoka nodded, her imagination already providing her with snapshots of the experiences Ranma had just described. "And now you keep it in a pigtail out of habit?" "I guess so." "I'm not quite sure how to ask this, but... perhaps you could leave your hair down for tonight? I would really like to see how you look without your pig-tail. Unless you would rather not..." Ranma smiled faintly. For a brief second Nodoka wondered if there were other reasons Ranma kept her hair tightly bound in a pigtail. "Okay," the cursed girl replied, sounding a bit distant. "For tonight." She went back to combing through her hair. To Nodoka, Ranma resembled her at the same age, except with straight hair. Nodoka had rarely worn her hair long; naturally curled hair was difficult to manage. Yet on Ranma, her long, bluish-black hair effectively framed her face, bringing out her gentle features. If only... That was it. Nodoka suddenly stood and walked toward the door. "Mom?" she heard Ranma ask. "I'll be back in a minute. I... would just like to check on something. Wait here." A moment later Ranma's danger sense flared to life when she heard Ayumi exclaim, "But I don't *want* to go in her room!" from the hall. She was unable to come up with a plan that didn't involve hopping out her window and fleeing before her mother pushed the protesting Ayumi into the room. "So, Ayumi-kun - do you think Ranma looks cute like this, hm?" Ranma adopted a severe blush, and Ayumi was in the process of acquiring a distinctly similar one. He was unmistakably trapped. Ayumi could almost hear both his and Ranma's heartbeats pounding mercilessly in his ears. Thank goodness *she* wouldn't have encouraged her mother to do anything like this... Ranma was just as embarrassed as he was. More, even. Mrs. Saotome had caught them both with their guard down. But what to say? The wrong thing would have Ranma reaching for her mallet in record speed. Hell, even the right thing could set her off. He certainly didn't want to have Ranma's mother mad at him, either. "I-I... I think she looks cute with her hair up or not," Ayumi ultimately stammered. Ranma blinked. Nodoka brought them closer together, smiling. "Good, good. Oh! I almost forgot... I have some business I absolutely must take care of as soon as possible. The two of you stay here and talk. I'll be back as soon as I can." Ranma and Ayumi waited for the sound of Nodoka's footsteps to fade before breathing normally again. "Ah... umm, Ayumi?" Ranma cautiously looked up at him from her chair. "Did you really mean--" "Nah. I just said that so your mom wouldn't get upset, that's all. You're still kawaikunee as ever." Ranma's left eye began to twitch. "I mean, it's like you said before. A tomboy like you isn't worried about whether you're cute or not..." Ayumi stopped short as he realized the room had abruptly grown unbearably hot. That could only mean one thing: he'd gotten Ranma angry enough that her anger was manifesting itself as an aura of flame around her. *Now* he was truly in deep trouble. "AYUMI NO **BAKA**!!" ** ** ** "Tadaima!" Ranma called as she removed her shoes in the foyer. As far as she knew, Ayumi was still out with Hiroshi and Daisuke somewhere, doing whatever it was they did after school - which suited her fine. She was certainly in no mood to speak to him after his insults the night before *and* after he had the nerve to encourage Shampoo at lunch this afternoon. He was obviously doing it to get to her. Why let it bother her? All she had to do was pretend to give up. Pretend to let Shampoo do whatever she desired with Ayumi, that she could finally take possession of him and haul him off to China or wherever Shampoo planned to live after forcing Ayumi to marry her. *That* would defuse the baka's plans to use Shampoo as a tool to aggravate her. "Ah, Ranma, you're back. Put your shoes on; I want to take you to see something." Ranma was startled to see her mother standing within the hallway. "Mom? I thought you had to work today." "I took off early." Nodoka smiled. "It's because I have a surprise for you." "A surprise? What is it?" "I'm taking you to the zoo." "But, Mom," protested Ranma, "there's nothing interesting at the zoo." "There is now." ** ** ** The zoo was as boring as Ranma described it - in her opinion, anyway. There were very few things in a zoo designed to hold the interest of a martial artist who was used to facing larger threats than a park full of caged animals. "So what's the surprise?" She could see her mother was showing signs of losing her patience. "We're almost there." Nodoka stopped Ranma in front of a particularly large, enclosed habitat. "Ranma, what does that sign say?" she asked, pointing to a sign secured to the bars of the cage which looked freshly painted. "Rare Large Chinese Pandas. Warning! For your safety, as well as the animals', do NOT feed the pandas or give them hot water..." Ranma hesitated. Hot water? Her mother then directed her attention to one of the bears sitting in the middle of the isolated habitat. As Ranma watched, the panda hastily wrote a sign... [Help me, please.] Ranma resisted the urge to break out in laughter. She turned away from the pandas to glance at her mother. "Is that *Dad* in there?" Nodoka nodded. "I'm going to leave him in there for a week. Perhaps by that time he will have learned something." Ranma turned back to the cage in time to see the panda raise a sign that read, [Ranma...?] "I doubt it," she spoke too softly for her mother to hear. (end) ------------ Credits: Written by: Mike Koos Pre-readers: Richard Beaubien, Jonathan Ng, Tom Williams, David Wills With apologies to Takahashi Rumiko... All parts of this series are available at the RAAC archives at ftp://ftp.cs.ubc.ca/pub/archive/anime-fan-works or from my WWW pages at http://www.fanfic.net/~makoto/ Comments and questions welcome. * Mike ('Kino Makoto') Koos: makoto@cal.net * http://www.fanfic.net/~makoto * * "I can do nothing to stop you. Your background music is too strong * for me." - Sam Johnson, Whose Line is it Anyway?