The skies were dreadfully darker than anyone had ever seen, even through the middle of the night. This particular fact did not go unnoticed... more so since the day was in the process of struggling to make it through the late-morning hours. Somewhere within a mountain range centered within that very darkness, a small figure stumbled out of the deep cave in which it had been sealed - shrugging off the heavy boulder that had been meant to seal the mouth of the cave for the remainder of Time as though it had been nothing. A small rock or can lying at the side of the road to be kicked out of the way, perhaps. He stretched muscles that hadn't been used in who knew how many years and began to stagger along the narrow mountain trail that led past what others might have thought would be his tomb. So much to do... But before he could get far from his former prison, the heavens rumbled and sent a single powerful bolt of lightning to strike him down once more. The lightning served exactly the opposite purpose, unfortunately... re-energizing the man. With renewed determination, he resumed his walk. Destiny's Wish Part Thirty: Who's Training Who? written by Mike Koos ------------------------ A rainy day was certainly nothing new to the Nerima area. While it had been raining for most of the morning - and most of the day before as well - the unusually dark clouds that had taken up residence in the sky the morning before stubbornly refused to go away even when it *wasn't* raining, leaving a feeling of impending doom to the air. Some people liked to believe it was a sign that something bad might just be about to happen. It wouldn't be the first time this particular part of Tokyo had faced such a risk. At the dojo that had become such a familiar part of the Tendo home, both Soun and Genma noticed the sense of dread yet nonetheless continued to spar against each other. They each had their own reasons for organizing practice sessions when Ranma, Ayumi and Naka were away at school. Soun was aware he had let his own skills as a martial artist fall into neglect since the death of his wife; he wanted to rebuild his skills, seeing as how there was a chance he might need them to help keep the engagement between his son and Genma's daughter in place... and keep others from destroying it, like Shampoo and her mysterious great-great grandmother. Shampoo had only yesterday attempted to kidnap Ranma on her way home from school - in plain sight of Yuka, Sayuri and nearly a dozen other witnesses, no less! - apparently for some brand-new scheme to snare Ayumi... except she'd failed to account for the rain's sudden onslaught. Ranma and her friends had simply walked off under her umbrella, leaving a fuming cat to wonder why in the world she wasn't carrying around an umbrella of her own. Though it probably wouldn't help much in her case, come to think of it. Genma's fight with Ranma and Ayumi in the mountains had helped him realize just how much he needed to improve himself. His daughter and wife were both dangerous fighters if need be, and now both of them were against him - with good reason. Ranma's advantages were her speed, mobility and unpredictability. He'd taught her well enough. Nodoka was an unflappable swordsperson who'd taken the time to add some elements of Ninjitsu she had come across in the books Genma had left behind to her style, so that it was difficult to sense or second-guess her movements. A true master of musabetsu kakutou had to be prepared for almost *anything*... The small altar that had been so carefully maintained in the far wall of the dojo suddenly fell from its shelf to the varnished wood floor and shattered. Soun studied the remnants of the altar. "Th-the kamidana..." he said at last in a near-whisper. "It's broken. This cannot be good." His sparring partner merely laughed. "You worry too much, Tendo-kun. The next thing you know, you'll be telling me that this means our demon's come back from the dead." Soun blinked, not understanding what Genma meant. "Our demon...?" Then he understood. "Oh, right, our demon!" He shared in Genma's laugh... but only for a slight few seconds. How could Genma be so casual about this? As if it could never happen again! He grabbed the lapels of Genma's gi. "*Saotome-kun*..." he said, menacingly. "Don't worry!" Genma laughed uneasily, holding up his hands in an attempt to ward off Soun's fears. "I was just joking! It couldn't *possibly* be that!" Soun continued to stare. He was superstitious enough to believe that even talking about their "demon" just might bring it that much closer back to their lives. "Fight!" "Fight!" "Fight!" By their practiced routine, the members of the Fuurinkan High girls' track team chorused their battle cry after every breath and with a specific rhythm - as each member's right foot eased onto the pavement toes-first. Their cry lacked its usual enthusiasm this afternoon, however. Coach Nakao had elected to send them out on their normal after-school run through the streets... for although the skies were so dark that it seemed as though the clouds might release a downpour at a moment's notice, the important thing was that it hadn't rained since this morning. None of the team were particularly happy about the thought of potentially being stuck in a torrential downpour in the streets, far from the gear they'd brought to protect themselves from the rain. A thick shirt and bloomers was never much for protecting anyone from the rain. Someone laughed. A low, sinister laugh. Almost... lecherous. The team skidded to an awkward halt. Why - or *who* - would be laughing like that? It was a good thing they were all established runners... That was precisely when the diminutive figure leapt out at them... a fast-moving shadow with oddly-glowing eyes, crying out the name of someone who wasn't among them but was a person they all knew well. Admittedly, it was rather hard to run when one's legs refused to process that particular command. The girls screamed in horror as the figure advanced on them to examine them a little more closely... "Don't take this the wrong way, Ranma," Yuka spoke earnestly, "but ever since you found your Mom, you've been acting a little weird." Sayuri turned her gaze from her friend to her sister. "Yuka! But... I guess she's got a point." Well, *someone* had to say it. It might as well have been Yuka. The trio were taking the long route home from school today, and an uncharacteristically reserved Ranma was walking behind her friends. A casual observer wouldn't have seen much to set Ranma apart from Sayuri or Yuka - except for the death-grip she kept on her umbrella, just in case the rain decided to make a return appearance. She had even looped the strap tightly around her wrist to make sure it wouldn't go anywhere. A ghost of a smile crossed Ranma's lips. Sayuri saw that the cursed girl was still putting on a bit of an act for them. "Yeah..." Ranma's voice, too, was unusually distant. "It's just that Mom's been trying to teach me how she thinks a girl should behave." Ah, that explained it. Sort of. "Is that how you want to behave?" Sayuri gently inquired. "Kinda. Well, yes and no. A little of both. Maybe the way I usually act's better for who I am, but what am I going to do - say no to a Mom I haven't seen nearly all my life?" Yuka opened her mouth to say something, until a warning glance from her sister silenced her. Ranma failed to notice this. "She's really pushing the 'proper girl' stuff, about as much as Dad pushed fighting on me." That particular thought struck Yuka as odd. Ranma had said that her mother *wanted* her to be a fighter, yet wouldn't teaching Ranma to behave like a 'proper girl' conflict with that? "You're probably going to have to tell her sooner or later that that's not who you are," she said, before Sayuri could caution her. Yuka had a tendency to speak her mind without taking much time to consider her words. Ranma sighed. "I know, but--" Someone was screaming nearby. No. More than one person. The confused jumble of screams made it difficult for Ranma to tell how many people were doing the screaming. Suddenly energized, she ran toward the source of the disturbance. Yuka and Sayuri did their best to remain close to her. After all, whatever was going on was already the most exciting thing that had happened all day. They arrived on the scene to find what appeared to be an old man, unusually small in stature, bouncing around amidst a flustered Fuurinkan High girls' track team and repeatedly calling out the name 'Ranma' in near-desperation... a cry which Ranma caught as she, Yuka and Sayuri approached. Well, she was the only Ranma she knew of in this part of Japan; plus, she had a rather infamous reputation as a fighter, so chances were if anyone was in the area searching for a person named Ranma, they would be looking for her. The thing was, she couldn't recall ever meeting anyone like the man she saw harassing the track team before her. Perhaps his size was also an indication of his age? Ah! She *did* know someone similar in appearance to the man - Cologne, Shampoo's great-grandmother. Was this guy some acquaintance of Cologne's, come to do something terrible to her? Just great. As if she and Ayumi didn't have enough people out to get either of them for one reason or another. Whoever he was, the man had yet to notice the three newcomers. Neither had anyone on the track team. They were all too busy yelling things like "It's a monster!" "Get away! Leave me alone!" and "Pervert!" Ranma deliberately cleared her throat. "What's going on here, minna?" The latest victim of the 'monster' stopped in the middle of trying to convince the man to release his hold on her waist by means of a few swift blows to the head. "Ah - Ranma!" The man's eyes widened. "Ranma!?" Ranma blinked twice, unsure how to react. "Oooo!" he pointed at her. "Oooo! Oooo! Oooo! Oooo!" This only served to confuse Ranma more. Okay, so maybe the subtle approach wasn't working. This sweet young girl was playing hard-to-get! But she was undoubtedly overjoyed to see him, sure she was... "RANMA-CHAN--!!" he yelled, making a leap from the crowd of girls to his new target. "I'VE FINALLY FOUND YOU!" Ranma put an end to his advance with her bookbag, trying to keep her mother's advice about being polite in mind - a fact which didn't go unnoticed by almost everyone else present. "You - you know this weirdo, Ranma?" asked the runner who just a second ago had been the target of choice for the old man. "I... don't think so," Ranma studied the man clinging to her bookbag. "Who are you, ojiisan?" "I'm shocked. You really don't remember me?" Tears formed in the man's sad puppy-dog eyes. He turned away from her and started to cry. "Uh... well..." She wasn't sure what to say; talking people out of certain emotional states was not one of her skills. Here someone she was apparently supposed to know was crying his eyes out and she still couldn't recognize him. But then, she hadn't recognized *Ryomi* when the Lost Girl arrived in Nerima, had she? "...Maybe if you told me who you were or more about you, I'd remember," Ranma ventured. It certainly wasn't proper to let him continue crying like this. "No, this won't do. Won't do at all." Well, *that* had helped. She never saw the gleam that formed in his eyes. "I'll just have to settle..." The man made a dive for her... chest? "...for letting you offer an old, forgotten man solace in your bosom!" Ranma yelped and scrambled backward to avoid the pounce. Why hadn't she been able to sense his intent? "What d'you think you're trying to pull, old man?" Ayumi's voice. She opened her eyes to find that Ayumi had stomped the older man into the pavement before he could reach Ranma. "Ayumi..." murmured Ranma. Great. Just great. What was the baka doing here? This wasn't his route! She didn't need him to save her, either! The man blinked in surprise. "Ayumi!" He glanced between Ranma and Ayumi. Ranma and Ayumi. That could only mean one thing. He *had* found them. "So, it really is you!" Moving at a nearly imperceptible speed, he hopped over to Ranma, burying his face in her chest. "Oh, Ranma-chan!" She screamed. "*IYAAAAA*--!! You... you *PERVERT*!" Ranma tore the man away from her and pounded him with her fists several times in succession. Ayumi smirked. For once it wasn't him that Ranma was furious toward on the premise of being a pervert. This guy really *was* a pervert! The man merely brushed himself off. "As I'd hoped. The daughter of Saotome Genma is indeed strong in both body and spirit." Ranma hesitated, warily narrowing her eyes. Was this another ploy to catch her off-guard? "You know my Dad?" Not that it was going to do the old pervert much good right about now... "Yes, and Tendo Soun as well. They consider me to be a very important person. If it's not too much trouble, I would like to see them again." "Well... I *guess* we could take you home with us... What do you think, Ayumi?" Ranma asked in apparent resignation. Ayumi shrugged. "I guess it's okay, if he really does know our dads..." Though that in itself really didn't account for much at present. "Okay, come on," Ranma told their new guest. She was in no way about to forgive him for what he'd done to her, but she was still supposed to be putting on an air of politeness. "But you'd better not try anything, or grope me again, or..." "As you wish, dear girl." An abrupt change from pervert to polite. Now, she was even more suspicious of him. "Sayuri, Yuka..." Ranma nodded to her friends. "I'll call you later, okay?" "Okay!" Sayuri grabbed her sister by the wrist and left. She didn't envy Ranma in the least for having to escort a verified pervert to her home. Of course, she knew what Ranma would say in response to that thought: "Who, Ayumi?" By the time Ranma and Ayumi arrived at their house, the man - whom had introduced himself as 'Happosai' - hadn't been able to resist a long, obvious leer at Ranma... who was doing her best to keep her well-known temper reigned back. Ayumi figured that the man was working his way up to another grope attempt. He was inclined to let that happen; Ranma would imbed their 'guest' into the pavement, courtesy of her mallet, and they'd both be done with him. Then again, for all he knew the tomboy threw rationality out the window whenever she was angry. She'd find some utterly ridiculous excuse to get mad at *him*, too, and flatten him as well - if he was lucky. Ayumi could see that Ranma wasn't going to let herself be distracted from watching Happosai in case the old pervert wanted to try anything, not even as they removed their shoes in the foyer of their home. That was why it fell upon him to announce their return. "Tadaima!" he called into the air. "Dad, Mr. Saotome? Where are you?" "In the dojo!" came his father's exhausted voice. Ayumi glanced at Ranma. "Must be sparring with your dad again." "Yeah." The unlikely trio walked through the halls on their way to the dojo's indoor entrance. Happosai seemed to be taking in every detail. thought Ayumi. "Ah, Ayumi, Ranma. You're home," Soun greeted them. He wondered why the older man who had followed the children into the dojo looked strikingly familiar to him... "Put on your practice clothes and we can--" He remembered. So, too, did the panda. Both stared in absolute wide-eyed horror at the man they had wanted to believe was no longer a threat to the world. "Oh, don't mind me," Happosai smiled. "In fact, I wouldn't mind watching Ranma-chan change her clothes, either." "I'll just bet you wouldn't, *pervert*," Ranma muttered under her breath. Happosai took the opportunity to walk toward the two stunned fathers. "Hello, Soun. It's good to see you again after all these years." Soun swallowed hard, found his voice. "H-Honored Master! You don't know how wonderful it is to know you are safe and unharmed!" Crying, he brought Happosai into a tight hug. "Honored Master...?" wondered Ranma. Happosai laughed. "I knew I could count on the two of you!" Ranma was surprised; she'd never heard of either her father or Mr. Tendo having a teacher. She had assumed for the most part that they had taught themselves everything they knew of the martial arts. This old pervert was a martial-arts master? How much of what she had learned was passed down from him? Then she noticed that Soun had maneuvered himself into a position where he could keep his 'honored master' from moving and brought a clenched fist down upon Happosai's head... However, she wasn't able to see the old man raising a single finger to intercept Soun's fist. He casually levered Soun across the dojo and into the wooden floor with enough force to almost rip parts of Ranma's dress uniform from her as Soun passed - had she not been stubbornly refusing to allow such a thing to happen. But to have easily thrown Soun like that... the old pervert did have to be fairly skilled at the martial arts. She saw that Happosai was heading toward the closest end of the dojo, where her father was hurriedly trying to make himself appear to be an ordinary panda. Half-eaten bamboo shoots and an old rubber tire lay on the floor around the panda. It figured her father would take the coward's way out... Oh, he'd act like Mr. Supremely Invincible Martial Artist, but place Genma in a situation in which he was obviously outmatched and he'd cower like a frightened child off in a corner somewhere. "Ah, Saotome Genma. Just who I was looking for," Happosai said to the panda, seemingly not the least bit fooled by the act *or* the fact that Genma just happened to be a notably large panda at the moment. The panda held up a hand-inked sign. [You are mistaken. I am a panda.] Happosai grinned. "You always were one to joke. I must say, I'm impressed by how well young Ranma and Ayumi have turned out." Both Ayumi and Ranma stared at him on hearing the remark. Ranma withdrew a step. As if sensing her thoughts, Happosai leered at her. Soun edged closer to Genma. "*Saotome-kun*...," he hissed. "He'll never leave as long as we're here!" Ayumi and Ranma weren't aware of the danger the Honored Master posed to them - especially Ranma. The young woman did have a Jhusenkyou curse to hide behind, but that definitely would not deter Happosai for long. "Guess they really *do* know the little pervert, huh?" shrugged Ranma. Ayumi smirked. "Yeah, but not as an old friend." After everything had settled down - and after Happosai had left the dojo for other parts of the house in search of a few good bottles of hard liquor - Soun and Genma sat down to tell the story of their last encounter with their 'Honored Master.' "You see, shortly before you and Ranma were brought into this world, Ayumi, our Honored Master insisted on taking us on what he claimed would be the most important training trip of all time. But it turned out to be nothing more than an excuse for him to party anywhere he wanted in Japan - and putting us through a living hell." "The least of our problems was having to work off the bills for all the 'free' meals and drinks he enjoyed at our expense. When he couldn't do that, he had us raid nearby towns and villages for cattle, liquor, party favors... anything he wanted." "To 'train' us further, he chained us to trees while he ate the meat he cooked and sat inches out of our range, fanning the smell of the meat toward us." Ranma gasped. "He didn't let you eat?" "Nothing at all," answered her father. "Nor did we have any money or time in which to eat." "That's terrible!" Soun gave her a solemn nod in reply. "Yes, it was. Our Honored Master can be much worse than what you have seen so far." That, Ranma didn't doubt in the least. He continued. "Finally, we had had enough. It took us a while to get the necessary items, but we decided it was worth it for all we had been through. We took several casks of the strongest alcohol we could find and added a special drug to it." "When the Honored Master fell asleep," Genma picked up the story, "we tied and chained him up in one of the casks, dropped him in the deepest cave we could find with several lit sticks of dynamite, and then quickly sealed the cave with a giant boulder covered with spirit wards." Ayumi was impressed. "We thought we and the rest of the world were finally rid of him, but--" Soun's words were cut short as he noticed that Happosai had returned, dragging a cardboard box full of hard liquor bottles behind him. The old man laughed. "Reminiscing is always so much fun, isn't it?" He took a long swig straight from one of the bottles. "But, as you can see, your efforts were wasted. It is not possible for you or anyone else to get rid of me that easily." Soun struggled to keep his anger from showing. The old man had found his special stash of liquor, to be saved for extremely special occasions - like a wedding between Ayumi and Ranma, for example - even though Soun had all but buried the bottles in a padlocked metal strongbox out in the yard! He'd had to keep his 'treasure' out of Genma's reach, after all... but he hadn't forseen that he would have to keep *Happosai* from finding it as well. The 'Honored Master' seemed to have an uncanny ability for finding things no one wanted him to find. "Well..." Soun said at last, his eyebrows beginning to furrow. "That doesn't mean..." added Genma. Both turned, and targeted Happosai with their clenched fists. "...we can't prove you wrong!" they growled in unison. Ranma watched, visibly shocked, as Happosai quickly turned the pair of martial artists into a twisted mess on the floor. She smirked... mostly out of disbelief. The 'great' Saotome Genma, self-pronounced invincible martial-artist, defeated *this* easily by a small, old man? There was much more to this 'Happosai' than appearances indicated. It would be a good idea not to underestimate him. Not that she tended to underestimate her opponents, of course; that was one of Ayumi's bad habits. Happosai wrapped an arm around a bottle of sake slightly taller than him and dragged it over to the pile that had been his students a few minutes ago so that he could savor the alcohol while sitting atop the pile... what better way to remind Soun and Genma why he was their Honored Master than to add his insult to their injury? "Y-you misunderstood!" they heard Soun's voice make a strangled attempt to be heard from within the pile. "We were only kidding, Honored Master!" Happosai sighed. He pulled out his faithful old smoking pipe and idly twirled it between his fingers, then glanced down at Soun. "I see. You can rest easy, though. I didn't come here to take you on another training mission." Any indication of relief that might have been present in Soun's voice was masked by a stronger sense of dread. "You didn't?" If the Honored Master hadn't come to recruit them for another so-called training voyage, he must have come to stay at their house and party *here*. *And* try, very much so, to get close to the only girl in the house: Ranma. What other reason could there be? "As you no doubt know, I am no longer young, myself." Happosai wistfully puffed on his pipe. "I have decided that it is time to choose my eventual replacement as the Supreme Honored Master of musabetsu kakutou." His 'students' paled. Within a matter of seconds they had run off to pack their bags and were preparing to leave. "I just remembered - we're supposed to be in Shikoku." "Oh, yes," Genma agreed. "It completely slipped my mind." Ranma frowned. "And just *where* do the two of you think you're going?" "Shikoku," they answered. "I can't believe how chicken you two are. Afraid of a little old man," snorted Ayumi. "This from the guy who nearly got his butt kicked by a 'little old woman,'" Ranma said knowingly in an aside to Ayumi. "Shut up!" he hissed in response. Turning his attention back to Soun and Genma, he continued. "I thought you guys WANTED to be the supreme masters of musabetsu kakutou! Besides, if one of you takes over for him, you won't have to ACT like him, right?" Soun came to stand behind his son. "Honored Master, I would hereby like to nominate my son, the strongest martial artist in the family, as a candidate." Naturally, this caused Ayumi to glare suspiciously at him. Happosai studied Ayumi through narrowed eyes. "He needs to learn respect and patience. I'm not sure if he will do." He turned a lustful leer on Ranma. "As for you, sweet Ranma-chan..." Ranma's entire body tensed. She now had a good idea what the old pervert had in mind. Now all she had to do was learn how to second-guess his 'attacks...' ...before he tried to bury himself in her chest again, she thought, as the old pervert did just that. Again he'd managed to pounce on her before she could use her martial artist's senses to detect what his course of action was going to be. She screamed. "KYAA----" Ayumi dumped a bucket of water on her. As she transformed, the seams of her uniform jacket separating under the strain, her chest flattened and a surprised Happosai fell to the floor. "You have a Jhusenkyou curse, too?" Happosai asked the former girl. Ranma growled. "Kono..." He drew his mallet and attempted to flatten Happosai - but the old man managed to dodge the strike by leaping out of the way. Ayumi snatched him out of the air. "This is all your fault, boy!" Happosai glared at him accusingly. "How dare you change my beautiful Ranma-chan into a boy!" The cursed girl was becoming more furious by the second. "I am NOT your beautiful Ranma-chan!" Ayumi considered an insult but thought better of it. Knowing Ranma, she wasn't that far from turning all that anger on *him*. "Oh, shut up, you dirty old pervert!" he settled for responding to Happosai's complaint instead. "You might scare our fathers, but you don't scare me! I'll pound the crap out of you!" With an almost unconcerned manner, Happosai brought his pipe between Ayumi's wrists - securing it against the closest wrist - and twirled it. The resulting force sent Ayumi spiraling through the dojo roof. "Ayumi!" Ranma called his name, shocked. How could the old pervert have thrown Ayumi so far with so little effort? He knew he could throw the baka quite far with all her effort, though not *that* far. It was a shame he hadn't been in a position to see exactly what Happosai had done; then, she might have been able to work out her own version of the move as she had the Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken. Happosai's pipe had returned to his mouth. "He might do, indeed. With a little... training." He glanced in Ranma's direction. "Now, my dear. Let's see about getting you some hot water. Perhaps you wouldn't mind climbing into the bath with me?" Ranma tried to mallet him again, but Happosai somehow avoided being struck, frustrating Ranma more when the old pervert took up a perch atop the head of the mallet. He tried a few more times to no avail. "I take it you don't want to, then? What a pity." Happosai dashed over to Soun and Genma, not giving Ranma a chance to attack him another time. "Have my room ready at once," he ordered them. "Y-yes, Honored Master." Ranma narrowed his eyes and scowled. She found Ayumi crouched on the roof next to the hole he'd made on departure. After their fathers had taken Happosai to his guest room - far away from hers, thankfully! - Ranma had gone to the kitchen for some hot water to change back to her proper form, then to her room for a change of clothes. Ayumi would have to pay later for ruining her school uniform. Didn't he know how much trouble she had to go through to get them... *or* sew them back together after they had been ruined by her transformations? The store she bought her uniforms from was practically on the verge of offering her a 'frequent customer' discount. For now, she only wanted to see whether or not Ayumi was okay. "He said that!?" Ayumi exclaimed after she told him about Happosai's evaluation of him. "Yeah." She stared nervously at the damaged roof. "Um, when are you coming down? It's been about twenty minutes, already..." "I'll be down later!" His tone caused Ranma to frown. "Don't tell me YOU'RE afraid of that pervert, too! Or..." She studied him for a second. "...you're still hurting after that throw?" Ayumi was, but he didn't want Ranma to know that. "There's nothing wrong with me!" "Maybe you're worried that an even bigger pervert's come along to take your place," she said, knowingly. She would think that. "I am *not* a pervert, you kawaikune tomboy!" "Then *why* did he think you'd be perfect to replace him?" "I don't care what you think!" yelled Ayumi. "There's no way I'm gonna have anything to do with that old pervert!" As if on cue, the roof collapsed further underneath Ayumi, and he fell to the floor below. ** ** ** The next morning found Ranma in the bathroom, brushing her teeth. "Stupid old pervert..." she grumbled. "If it wasn't for worrying about him, I might've gotten some sleep last night." She realized she was putting more effort than was necessary into brushing her teeth and directed the energy elsewhere. "And he wants Ayumi to be just like him, too. Like he really needs the help." Well, it was a good thing she'd remembered to lock the outer door before starting her normal morning routine in the bathroom. Neither one of the perverts would be bothering her in here. Or would they? At once she became aware that a certain someone was in the room with her, running his hands up and down her rear... "Oh, yes," Happosai spoke in a contented tone. "The best time to pick them is in the morning..." She didn't even want to know what he meant by that. Before her anger had built to a suitable-enough point for unleashing upon the old pervert, Ayumi made his appearance to toss a bucket of cold water over her, triggering her transformation. "Leave her alone, you pervert!" Ayumi confronted Happosai, throwing the bucket aside. Happosai met Ayumi's angry glare with one of his own. But nothing would ever come of the confrontation. A furious growl from the sidelines reminded them that Ranma was still there... and very, *very* angry. "CAN'T I HAVE ANY PRIVACY IN THIS BATHROOM!?" yelled Ranma. Another step, and he place-kicked the two intruders through the bathroom ceiling. "Yes, your daughter is very energetic indeed, Genma," Happosai maneuvered around the bowls on the table to stand near the food he wanted - which just happened to be the exact same food Soun was in the process of reaching for. With Genma around, literal tug-of-wars over pieces of food had become common. Ranma had originally had very similar eating habits - well, who *wouldn't*, after living on the road for most of their life alongside Genma? - but now that she was living something resembling a normal life, her eating habits had come to resemble those of an ordinary person. "That was mine!" Soun protested. Ranma looked away in disgust. She'd quickly changed herself back to normal after ejecting Ayumi and Happosai from the bathroom, and had to spend the remainder of the morning on guard to make sure there weren't going to be anymore sudden appearances. As such, she wanted nothing to do with either pervert for the time being. "Go away," she said through clenched teeth. She was down to her last spare uniform, too. If that... *baka* threw water on her again today just so he could foil the *other* pervert's attempts to do something to her... Happosai, however, had switched to pestering Ayumi. With a practiced motion the old pervert drew a lacy pink bra from within his gi and dangled it from the end of his chopsticks in front of Ayumi's face, while simultaneously stopping Soun's attempts to grab food from Ranma and Ayumi's side of the table. Ranma thought. The first chance she had, she was going to have to find a way to lock her underwear drawer. Maybe her mother knew where to find furniture with drawers that could be locked. Then again, a simple lock probably wouldn't stop this particular pervert for long. Maybe there was a way one of those car anti-theft systems could be modified to work on her furniture... or if *that* failed, she could rig her dresser to explode, like she'd seen once somewhere in the movies. Happosai wouldn't be able to swipe her underwear then, would he? Ranma shook her head. She shouldn't have to be thinking about these kinds of things at all! Stupid perverts... "Tell me, boy - how do you feel about this?" Happosai continued to dangle the undergarment in Ayumi's face. "Does it excite you in any way?" From the way the chopsticks broke in Ayumi's grip, he was trying hard not to lose his cool, Ranma saw. "No, it doesn't! I'm not that type of person!" Ranma withheld the comment that immediately came to her mind. Surprisingly, Ayumi's comment seemed to come as a rather big shock to Happosai. "It... it doesn't excite you?" His eyes grew wide. He put on a show of tears. "You disappoint your Honored Master so..." "You are NOT my Honored Master!" "Ah," Happosai said, straightening. "Very well, then." Ayumi leaned forward. "And what d'you mean by that?" An ominous expression fell over Happosai's face. "Just this: if I should happen to defeat you in a fight, you will have no choice but to unconditionally accept me as your teacher." The alarm bells were ringing in Ranma's thoughts. Would Ayumi listen to her if she warned him? No. But she had to try. "Don't do it, Ayumi!" As she'd predicted, he ignored her. "A fight, huh?" "Why do you keep acting like you're invincible? Didn't the fight with Shampoo's grandma teach you *anything*!?" Ayumi snorted, barely bothering to glare down at her from his position on the fence. "I won, didn't I?" "Only with Shampoo and I helping you!" Ranma said sourly. She shifted her bookbag in front of her. "You can't count on the Nekoken every time you fight a strong opponent, you know! Sooner of later, you're going to have to learn how to fight for real!" "I know how to fight for real, thank you." He hopped off the fence. "Do not." "Shut up." Ranma hid her smirk from him. "You're becoming more of a pervert already." "Hmph. Shows how much you know." They crossed through the gate into the Fuurinkan courtyard. "I know he said he'd fight you during school today. Aren't you at all worried?" Wait, Ranma wondered. When had *she* become the voice of reason? Ayumi waved her concern away. "Nah. I can take him. He's just a little old pervert!" He stopped short of mentioning to Ranma that he thought the man's reputation was highly overrated, especially considering that most of that reputation came from their fathers... who were cowering in fear of the man. Honestly, how much of a threat could this 'Happosai' truly be? He couldn't even remain serious, choosing instead to drool over every young girl he met. That included Ranma - who was none too happy about having the old lech grope her - and Ayumi didn't blame her in the least. It would serve the demented old man right if Ranma pounded him flat, in Ayumi's opinion. Several times. ** ** ** Most of the school day passed without much incident at all - which was troubling for Ayumi, as wondering when Happosai was going to appear was driving him up the wall. Why was Ranma so calm? Oh, right... she wasn't the old pervert's target, though Happosai wasn't beyond trying something if he got close enough to her. As the final bell of the day was trailing off into silence, seemingly acting as a starter's pistol, the sound of rushing footsteps became evident to those in the courtyard who were already on their way home. A familiar figure burrowed his way through the crowds. Happosai, clutching a sack easily at least three times his size, was fleeing from a mob of angry girls. "Come BACK here, you THIEF!" a girl in jogging sweats swiped at him with a pushbroom. "Give them back!" Ranma and Ayumi stepped out onto their classroom's balcony along with several others to see what the disturbance was. "*There* he is!" Ayumi leapt onto the railing and to the ground three stories below before Ranma could stop him. "What are you up to, you old pervert?" he called out to Happosai. Happosai greeted him with a wave, but didn't bother to stop. "Oh, hello, Ayumi!" An idea struck him. He took his sack and threw it to Ayumi. The bag unraveled in Ayumi's hands. "Huh?" he thought aloud. "Bloomers?" That was what the sack had been filled with... a large pile of girls' bloomers. *Used* bloomers... In the next instant that fact became painfully obvious as the mob who happened to own this particular pile of clothing caught up to him and beat him into the ground. "Another weirdo!" he heard in between stomps. "Working with that old guy!" He considered denying he had anything to do with Happosai, but was aware from experience with Ranma that it wouldn't do him any good. Ranma never listened; why would a whole mob of girls that was disgusted with him bother to listen to him? Around the corner of a nearby building, Happosai breathed a sigh of relief. It had been a pity to have to sacrifice his haul, though he had effectively turned it into an endurance test for Ayumi. He took the time to light his pipe. Ayumi popped up to shove him from his perch before Happosai had a chance to enjoy a solitary puff from the pipe. "YOU!!" he growled, venom surging into his voice. Only Ranma could be more furious than him toward the old man right about now. Happosai feigned innocence. "How could you sneak up on me like that? Why, I could have had a heart attack..." "Oh, cut the act! You're the one who stole those bloomers! Those girls wanted to beat YOU up!" No response. Ayumi snorted and decided to resort to a different tactic. "So THIS is what you wanted to come here for? To swipe girls' bloomers? I thought you wanted to fight!" "That, my dear pupil, is merely a side benefit." Happosai peered intently into the bowl of his pipe. "I do intend to train you." He never gave up, did he? Ayumi rolled his eyes in an effort to control his temper. "I'm not your pupil. When are you gonna understand that? I'm not your pupil!" "Soun and Genma rebelled at first, as you do now. In time, you will recognize the truth," said Happosai, resting his eyes. The truth? "The truth is, you're an old pervert, and you've got no business calling yourself anyone's master!" To prove his point he aimed a punch at Happosai's head. Happosai was not at all concerned. To Ayumi he appeared to blink out of existence at the spot where he had been and then reappeared, sitting atop the wrist Ayumi had just pushed forward. "Oh, so you're challenging me?" Happosai tapped out a small clump of burning ash from his pipe onto Ayumi's knuckles. Ayumi swiped at him with his remaining fist. "You stupid - Yeah! I'm challenging you!" He grit his teeth... more in pain than anger. When he glanced up Happosai was hopping back and forth across a low-hanging branch... "You'll never win in a fight against me," the older man taunted. Damn it! Was Happosai actually teleporting, or was the pervert merely moving too fast for him to see? It was *so* frustrating; he'd had so many opportunities to improve his speed and now that he needed it - nothing! He was grateful that he still had his skill to fall back upon. "That's what you think! I'm MORE than a match for you!" Happosai smiled and shook his head. "No, you aren't. Not yet, anyway." A quick sweep of his hand, and the bra he had used to try to tempt Ayumi with hours earlier was back, dangled inches from the boy's face. "Get that *thing* out of my face!" snarled Ayumi. He was sick of this game. His would-be sensei made a few clicking noises of disapproval. "Such a pity. But you will learn." Happosai lapsed into a run... and Ayumi followed, as he had expected. The boy was so predictable... "Forget it! You've got nothing I'd want to learn!" Ayumi hesitated when Happosai veered toward a group of girls on their way out of the schoolyard and plowed through them, flipping up their dresses as he did so. His face reddened as he made an effort not to look. A hand reached out to grab Happosai by the back of his gi. A girl. He could sense her. A young, pretty girl had deliberately grabbed him... She brought him up to her eye level. "Oh, Ranma-chan." He offered her a casual wave. Ranma glared at him. "Don't 'Ranma-chan' me! I want to know why you're bothering everyone." Meanwhile, the girls whose dresses Happosai had lifted were lining up nearby for a shot at pounding him. Then again... if *Ranma* was the one who held the little pervert, that wouldn't really be necessary. "I am not bothering anyone! Ayumi challenged me to a fight!" "He did, did he, now." Ranma narrowed her eyes. This looked more like an excuse for Happosai to torment the female half of the Fuurinkan High student body than an actual fight. It was bad enough she had to put up with the pervert on a daily basis as a new member of the Tendo household; she wasn't about to let him pull the same stunts with everyone else at school. Happosai nodded. "And just because he doesn't want the bra I offered to share with him!" "Huh?" Ranma echoed the confusion of everyone else present. Was the pervert saying that he and Tendo Ayumi were working together? Ayumi ran up to them and brought his fist down on Happosai's head, almost knocking him out of Ranma's grasp. "I TOLD you, I'm NOT that kind of person!" Ranma made a face. "All of this is about a bra?" She shuddered in revulsion. "Of course not!" Ayumi growled. Happosai was following their exchange, glancing between them. "That's just what the old pervert thinks!" "Because it is at the root of our conflict, my pupil. Are you afraid you will lose to me?" Ayumi glared down at him. "Never!" "Then you shouldn't be afraid to accept this bra as your most treasured possession, should you lose." Pause. "I already told you, I'll NEVER lose to an old pervert like you!" Ayumi pulled Happosai away from Ranma and threw him across the courtyard. Ranma pursed her lips. Happosai then took three steps back toward Ayumi... and turned into a giant. Somewhere, at some point within his life - it probably should have been a valued memory, yet he couldn't recall anything about that particular time - Happosai had learned to project his ki into a forty-foot image of himself that could physically do anything the real Happosai could do on a larger scale. There *was* one glaring drawback to the projection technique, however: it took immense amounts of one's ki to project such a precise image, much less have the image actually *do* anything. He could only maintain a projection for somewhere close to five minutes before the strain would affect his body. More than ten minutes, and there was no telling how many days he would be unconscious. He did know of ways to steal ki from others... but most of the ways that could be used during a fight involved a sacrifice he couldn't - or wouldn't - take. Satisfied at last that he'd made his point to Ayumi, Ranma and everyone else on the field, Happosai withdrew his projection. And he had made his point, hadn't he? He could see the slight tremble Ayumi was trying to hide. "You might as well take it now, Ayumi," he laughed. "Because you have already lost!" The last word brought all of Ayumi's defiance surging back at once. Lose, to some hyperactive old pervert? No way! "Not on your life, old man!" He threw another punch which was easily dodged. Ranma closed her eyes and sighed. This was already becoming a match for Ayumi's fight with Cologne, only the baka couldn't see the similarities! she thought, sourly. The old man was still cackling. *That* was familiar, too. "Would you like me to give you a simpler indication of my true powers?" He sprang into the air toward Ayumi, hand outstretched like a cat's paw with claws extended... and focused his ki into a giant representation of that hand around him. Ayumi yelped without realizing he'd done so. Even Ranma knew what Happosai intended to do - he was going to pick Ayumi up as though Ayumi were nothing but a tennis ball and fling him aside. Again, she found herself slightly frightened and concerned for Ayumi's safety - but at the same time, her mind was wondering if there was a way she could somehow develop her own version of the technique Happosai was using. She couldn't help thinking of one possible use for the technique... Ranma imagined herself confronting Ayumi with her usual cry of "Ayumi no BAKA!" and a *large* projected mallet to back her words up... Ranma was vaguely aware of a group of girls - most likely the girls' track team - yelling "Fight! Fight! Fight!" as they marched past in the distance, but since such an occurrence was normal at this school, she paid little attention to it. When she turned her full attention back to the fight, Happosai and his projected image had vanished without a single trace. She looked around; apparently no one else knew where the old man had suddenly vanished to. "What? Where *did* he go?" she blurted, walking over to Ayumi's side. "You okay, Ayumi?" Ayumi was clearly shaken, though unharmed. "H-he's more dangerous than he appears." "Really. Can I say 'I told you so' now?" He growled at her but decided to let the issue drop. "We'd better find him before he does something we're all gonna regret." Before she could voice that insult, a now-familiar set of screams broke the decidedly uneasy silence. The girls' track team. "I think I know where he is," said Ranma, matter-of-factly. They ran to the locker rooms. Ranma peered in through the open window. From what she could hear of the screams and see, the team had discovered Happosai's presence while they were changing clothes back to their school uniforms. They were busy screaming at him and throwing almost everything they could find at him. "Nothing but a pervert." Huh? Ranma glanced to her right to find that Ayumi was also watching the scene. She brought up an arm - both to cover his eyes, and to 'hide' him from the team in the locker room... who wouldn't be all that happy to find another male staring at them right about now. "You're one to speak. Get away from the window!" she admonished him. "But..." Happosai's pitiable tone and puppy-dog eyes were having no effect on the girls. "I thought you would be happy to see me, since I had to neglect you previously!" Ranma let herself slump against the wall outside the locker room and sighed. (end) ------------ Credits: Written by: Mike Koos Pre-readers: Richard Beaubien, Jonathan Ng, Tom Williams, David Wills With apologies to Takahashi Rumiko... All parts of this series are available at the RAAC archives at ftp://ftp.cs.ubc.ca/pub/archive/anime-fan-works or from my WWW pages at http://www.fanfic.net/~makoto/ Comments and questions welcome. * Mike ('Kino Makoto') Koos: makoto@cal.net * http://www.fanfic.net/~makoto * * "I can do nothing to stop you. Your background music is too strong * for me." - Sam Johnson, Whose Line is it Anyway?