The fight between Ayumi and the newcomer, Mousse, had turned out to be much more exciting than any of the spectators outside the ring had foreseen - at least as far as the boys were concerned. Ayumi had attempted what had to be the least-expected move in the martial-arts book - transforming himself into a girl! - but that had apparently been only for show, as the female Ayumi had all but let Mousse shred her showy 'bunny-girl' costume from her. Now, she had only the precious few remaining strips of her costume left to work with, and Mousse was steadily ripping those away as well. The final indignity of all was only known to Ayumi and a few others. Ayumi had actually been a girl even before the beginning of the fight. Dwelling on this new, if somewhat temporary, curse had clouded her mind enough that she'd neglected to remember her range in fighting would be somewhat shorter as a girl. Destiny's Wish Part Twenty-Four: The Least of Her Problems written by Mike Koos ------------------------ "How's he doing it? I never saw any of his kicks come close to her!" Quite a few members of the male half of the crowd watching the fight were lapsing into fantasies about the girl in the ring, wearing absolutely nothing at all - despite the fact that she was supposed to be one of their male classmates, and a considerable fighter, at that. "I'm really glad we came to see this!" one boy grinned vacantly. "Me, too, with all my heart!" said another, sitting nearby. The whole scene was making Ranma rather sick, really. She had always suspected the guys at Fuurinkan High were a sorry lot of hentai perverts, and this apparently justified all her fears. Not that they needed that much justification to begin with... Mousse narrowed his eyes. Even with his glasses present, his vision was still somewhat questionable, and he had to squint to make sure the person standing across from him in the ring was the same one he had been fighting. "And now... the punishment you've been waiting for!" Ayumi had barely managed to avoid many of Mousse's kicks; with his longer range, Mousse was successfully keeping Ayumi at bay. She knew full well Mousse was using some kind of nail or something attached to his shoe - and if she didn't put a stop to his tricks here and now, she would have nothing left to wear! On Mousse's next kick, she flipped just out of his reach, maneuvering herself while upside-down into a position where she could catch the nail attached to the end of his shoe between her hands. She wrenched the shoe off his foot and flipped back down to her feet. Ayumi brought an arm up against her chest. No sense in giving all those hormone-crazed guys in the audience what they wanted to see. she snorted. Ayumi pushed the tip of the nail close to her opponent's face. "I thought you said you didn't use cheap tricks?" The audience was amazed. "So *that's* how he did it!" "Aiyaa..." Shampoo gasped. "*Mousse*!" shouted Ranma, banging her fists on the mat. "I thought this was supposed to be a FAIR fight?" Of course, when it came to the brand of fighting both Ranma and Ayumi employed, *anything* could be legal... and dangerous. But not everyone knew that. She was hoping the minor distraction would give Ayumi a chance to get in an attack - or something. Mousse gave a casual shrug. "I have no idea what you're talking about." He made a move as if to brush a few strands of loose hair back into place behind one ear. What Ranma and everyone else couldn't see, however, was the small hook and spool of fishing line he had concealed behind that same ear and in his hair. Ranma sighed. And first on the agenda was the matter of clothing. Shampoo noticed Ranma reaching for her sports bag and digging urgently through it. "Since you refuse to take off that stupid disguise, I will rip it from you, shred by shred!" Mousse cast his fishing line; the hook caught on the last piece of fabric that had been wrapped around Ayumi's waist, and tore it away. The boys in the crowd inhaled sharply as one. "That's it!" some chorused. "The last piece...!" But they weren't going to see what they had hoped to see for long. An instant afterward, Ranma dashed into the ring to pull one of her spare training gis over Ayumi. There was an overwhelming roar of disappointment from the crowd. "Ranma!" they protested her move while throwing in a show of tears that would have put Tendo Soun's traditional waterworks exhibition to shame. "Why'd you have to go and do THAT for!?" "Oh, knock it off with the crying, you big hentai babies!" the cursed girl growled. A little crowd control right about now was starting to sound like a good idea. Meanwhile, Dr. Tofu stepped closer to the edge of the ring. "Ayumi-kun? Who did this to you? Your condition, I mean." "That old witch." Ayumi did her best to point at Cologne while dodging more of Mousse's kicks in midair. "Her!" Cologne focused on Ayumi. "Who are you calling an 'old witch?'" "She used some kind of pressure-point technique... the 'Soushin-Neko-jita,' I think she called it - and now Ayumi can't touch hot water to change back." Ranma unconsciously began to wring her hands. "Yes...," the doctor said, thoughtfully. "I believe I've heard of that one. And how to counteract it." Ranma's eyes widened slightly. "You do?" A shout from Mousse cut through the air, interrupting their conversation. "You shame yourself by dressing like a girl, Tendo! Lose the disguise, and I might reconsider beating you into a bloody pulp!" He clipped a lock of hair from Ayumi's head with a bladed yo-yo as she cartwheeled away from him. "Hah, you and what muscle?" she defiantly retorted. As she neared the edge of the ring she turned herself about to face Mousse. All of a sudden Ayumi felt something hard poking into the tender area just inside her left shoulder blade. She glanced back to see Dr. Tofu watching her. The doctor climbed down from the platform to rejoin Ranma. "What did you do, Tofu-sensei?" the girl inquired. Tofu took a deep breath before answering. "I used the only counter-technique I've ever heard of for the Neko-jita... it should allow Ayumi-kun to touch hot water again and change back. It's called the 'Touch of Edo.'" "The 'Touch of Edo...?'" Ranma echoed. The thing about pressure-point techniques was that they often had names more vague than many fighting techniques. Tofu's declaration hadn't gone unnoticed. "Did you hear that?" one of the boys within earshot asked his friends. "They're saying that hot water'll change Ayumi back into a guy!" "No way! We can't let that happen!" Ranma snatched the kettle of hot water her father had brought for tea - and himself, eventually. "Okay, then - if it's safe for Ayumi to touch hot water again..." As she hefted the kettle around, preparing to carry it into the ring, Cologne sliced through the thin metal of the kettle with her staff. The hot water within splattered all over the ground at Ranma's feet and turned the dirt into warm mud. "Goodness... you seem to have spilled your hot water." Ranma narrowed her eyes and frowned. Like Soun, she'd been giving Cologne a bit of leeway even though she didn't trust the Chinese elder in the least. Come to think of it, Kasuga was probably the only one in the house who readily trusted Cologne. Genma didn't care one way or the other as long as he was fed. Ranma knew the fact that she was a girl dictated she should maintain a level of politeness and respect toward other people, although she wasn't always one to follow that rule. She wasn't about to behave toward Cologne as openly as Ayumi did... but Ranma figured her defiance was overdue. Shampoo was, for the moment, an extension of Cologne's scheming and Ranma was growing tired of the whole affair. Why couldn't she just break off her engagement to the currently-tomboyish Ayumi and give him to Shampoo or Ryomi? Or even Kodachi... or whoever else was chasing him this week? Answer: her pride and honor were as much a part of this as anything else. She was too stubborn to hand Ayumi to anyone; she'd been issued a challenge in a grand sense and while she was stuck with the concept of an arranged marriage, she wasn't going to let anyone take away her iinazuke - no matter how much she believed she hated the boy's guts. No matter how much trouble they were always getting themselves into. In the meantime, the word of Ayumi's 'condition' was drifting amongst the spectators gathered on the grounds. "I heard that Ayumi'll return to being a boy if he uses hot water." "That's horrible!" someone declared. Then the mob caught sight of Ranma, who was on a dead run to the ring with another kettle of hot water she'd managed to locate. The boys formed a human wall to block her path. She didn't slow down when she saw them. "Get out of my way!" Ranma warned them. "Quit interfering!" What were the girls doing about this? she wondered. Surely, they couldn't be all that happy about all this *drooling* over someone who wasn't even supposed to be a girl? "You're the one who's interfering!" they retorted, adamantly. Ranma raised the palm of her hand in front of her at arm's length, tucking the kettle underneath her left arm like a football as she kept running. She plowed through the wall, sending the mob flying in several different directions in a scene reminiscent of her first few days at Fuurinkan High. The circumstances were similar, too. Everyone was always out to get Ayumi... There was also the occasional person out to get Ranma, but she liked to believe she didn't make herself out to be as big a target as Ayumi did. Mousse glanced in her direction. "What's all that noise about?" He frowned; it was difficult to pick out anyone within the disturbance. "I'll put a stop to it," he said, walking toward it. Ayumi was confused. "Huh?" She relaxed her guard slightly. "Silence, all of you!" Mousse addressed the mob trying to subdue Ranma. "I wouldn't want you to miss such fearsome moves as the one I am about to execute..." Ranma heaved the kettle over the mob's heads into the ring as Mousse advanced on Ayumi once more. "*AYUMI*!!" Mousse brought a foot straight upward underneath Ayumi's chin, mimicking the movements of an ostrich. "Dachou-kyaku!" The kick missed Ayumi, who twisted her body out of the range of the attack - instead striking the kettle Ranma had thrown dead-center and spilling the hot water all over the mat. "*Baka*!" shouted Ranma. "Why'd you let him do that?" It hadn't occurred to Ranma that Ayumi might not understand he was able to touch hot water again. "That's a new one on me," Tofu remarked to the panda, who nodded. "It does leave him open for a while, though." Ayumi had realized that point as well. Even as the doctor was speaking to Genma, Ayumi swung her left foot around ninety degrees into Mousse's face, knocking the boy's glasses to the mat. "Gotcha!" Mousse lurched to his right. "He's lost his glasses!" someone felt the need to comment. Ranma mused. All the girl had to do was use the opportunity to start pounding on Mousse and not let up until the boy from China was down for the count. But when Mousse began to laugh, Ayumi instinctively took a couple of steps back. "You believe that taking away my glasses will help you?" he declared in a stage voice. Mousse proceeded to toss out a handful of smoke pellets. The smoke clouds that rose to obscure the ring didn't behave like ordinary smoke, however. "What the heck...?" Hiroshi coughed as the smoke blanketed the audience. "It's *tear gas*!" A move which Mousse didn't have a complete defense for, either. He alternated between coughing and laughing. "What do you think of your foolishness *now*?" Ayumi heard his voice come from somewhere within the smoke surrounding her. She regretted never having had any real training in fighting blind - or close to it, anyway, what with her eyes stinging from the effect the tear gas had on them. Ayumi tried not to breathe, but the impulse to cough was difficult to ignore. "Where is he? I'm gonna kill him!" Someone coughed behind her. Maybe her blind-fighting senses weren't that underdeveloped after all... She abruptly swept a leg back, hopefully far enough to tag whoever was there. Thankfully, as a girl she had a quicker and more flexible range of movement. "You can't sneak up on me!" Genma the panda stepped forward out of the clouds of smoke to deal her a clout on the back of the head. As luck would have it, it had been his snout her foot had connected with, and he wasn't exactly happy about it. After being mobbed on her last trip to the ring, Ranma had learned her lesson; this time, she had brought along her father to run interference. Genma held Ayumi still while Ranma came around from the side and emptied a third kettle of hot water on her. Ayumi's eyes went wide... The clouds of tear gas were beginning to thin. "Tendo Ayumi! Prepare to *die*!" announced a voice from above. Everyone's eyes, still feeling the effects of the tear gas, tracked toward the source of the call. "He's up there!" It figured he would be *above* the clouds of tear gas he had unleashed, out of the range of the gas. Mousse descended, feet-first, on Ayumi. "Takazume-ken!!" "What's that he got attached to his shoes?" someone asked. Ranma inhaled sharply... for not only was Mousse approximating the pose of a hawk about to pounce on its prey, he had attached a set of polished metal talons to each shoe! "Ayumi!" she called out in warning. Now male once again, Ayumi launched himself off the mat with both hands and intercepted Mousse, impacting against Mousse's chin with both feet. "Oh, shut up!" As they descended Ayumi casually placed Mousse's glasses back on the boy's face. "Here - have your stupid glasses back." Mousse saw for the first time that Ayumi had been restored to his proper form. "What?" he muttered. "So, you finally gathered the nerve to return to being 'male,' huh...?" The temporarily-cursed boy shrugged. One could only take so much of this sort of act. "I'm *so* glad you can see again. That way, you won't miss THIS!" He punctuated his declaration with the most forceful kick he could muster to Mousse's jaw. His opponent tumbled to the mat and promptly dropped out of consciousness. "Hey!" some members of the crowd jeered. "Ayumi's a guy again!" Ayumi headed over to his corner of the ring to gloat in Cologne's presence. "You have done well, son-in-law," she admitted, grudgingly. A part of his mind registered the broad smile on Shampoo's lips, yet he chose to say nothing about it. "Damn right I have! Serves you right - I broke your 'curse' without having to marry Shampoo." Cologne's thin eyebrows arched upward in interest. "Is that so?" "Yeah. So much for your stupid Instant Nyan-Ni-Chuan and pressure point tricks, huh?" He was aware of Ranma and Dr. Tofu approaching, and looked in their direction for a second. The sound of thunder in the skies above made Ranma reflexively reach for the umbrella she'd been bringing with her to school - one couldn't be too careful during the times when it tended to rain quite often. She had been paying too much attention to the fight to worry about keeping an eye on the skies at all times. Well, at least *he* didn't have to worry about the rain changing him into a girl any longer. He could just pour more hot water over himself, and once the effects of the Instant Nyan-Ni-Chuan wore off, he would be done with it at last. Ayumi decided to add insult to injury, standing on the elevated ring above Cologne as he was, and pulled his mouth open at the sides with his fingers to stick his tongue out at her. The doctor blinked. "Uh... Ayumi-kun? There's something I must tell you..." Drops of rain started to fall, prompting Ranma to open her umbrella. Ayumi felt his body changing into that of a girl. "...The technique I used to let you change back only temporarily cancels the effect of the Neko-jita, and only works once." Ranma stared at Ayumi, trying to gauge the girl's expression. Ayumi's fingers fell away from her mouth. She withdrew her tongue. "NOW you tell me." She saw the now-feline Shampoo running toward her - apparently, to leap into her arms! - and screamed, breaking into a run in the opposite direction. "What did I tell you?" Cologne chased after them atop her staff as they ran to and fro across the grounds. Nearly everyone else had left to seek shelter from the rain. "Once again, if you wish to return to normal, you will marry Shampoo." Ranma watched the procession for a while - she didn't feel like risking a transformation, and she knew this particular instance wasn't Ayumi's fault... although Ayumi did deserve a bit of retribution for his outright overconfidence. Then she felt someone's arms wrap around her waist. "*Shampoo*!!" Mousse cried. "You're in my arms again at last!" She used her mallet to pound him into the mud. "I am *NOT* Shampoo!" Sheesh... what was with this guy? He never learned... much like Shampoo and her great-great grandmother. Possibly Ayumi, too. Ranma sighed, leaning against the platform alongside the doctor - who was looking with mild interest at the boy lying face-down in the mud - to go back to watching Ayumi run practically everywhere in terror, followed by a happily meowing Shampoo and an unemotional Cologne. Back and forth, back and forth... ** ** ** The following day was Sunday. After coming home from her fight the day before, Ayumi had shut herself in her room and refused to come out thereafter. Ranma had been forced to leave Ayumi's meals outside his door - and a hot bath was out of the question for Ayumi, anyway. Ultimately, Ranma had had enough of Ayumi's self-imposed isolation. She told Ayumi about the trip to the local public pool she, Yuka and Sayuri had been planning for a couple of weeks, and had figured that if Ayumi joined them, it would be a good enough way to work off some stress. It took a fair amount of convincing on Ranma, Naka and Kasuga's part to get Ayumi to consider going along with the idea. But because Ayumi was now a girl, she would have to wear a swimsuit. Naka and Kasuga tried to coerce Ranma into loaning Ayumi one of her swimsuits, since Ayumi was close to her size at the moment. Ranma steadfastly refused... she didn't want the baka coming anywhere *near* her clothes, or wearing them. At the last minute Kasuga had given Ayumi enough money to buy a new swimsuit. Ayumi asked Ranma to pick out a swimsuit for her, while she stood off to one side grumbling about how utterly embarrassing all of this was. Oh, well, at least she hadn't had to spend any of her *own* money on clothing she was hopefully never going to have to wear... again. It was surely bad enough Ranma and her friends had to see her like this. No doubt they'd be laughing at her all day long. No, she would never forgive Ranma for talking her into this trip. Or Shampoo's not-so-great-great grandmother for turning her into a girl to begin with. She continued to grouse about her condition all the way to the swimming pool. "We brought you along so you could shut up and forget about your problems," Ranma said through her teeth. "Yeah!" seconded Yuka. "So why don't you take it easy?" Ayumi glared at her. "*Hello*? In case it's not extremely obvious to you, I've been turned into a *girl* and can't change back!" "We KNOW. You keep telling us!" Sayuri sighed. The words failed to have an impact on Ayumi. She snorted. "I haven't made my point yet." "Get over it," Ranma told her. "*My* curse is FAR more permanent than anything you've got. And I've had it longer, too. So quit complaining! You're going to get rid of your stress if I have to put you in the hospital to do it!" How dare Ayumi suggest that whatever suffering he was going through because of his temporary Jhusenkyou curse was worse than anything those of them with the real Jhusenkyou curses had to endure! Sure, she hadn't exactly been calm and collected after being cursed, herself, but... but... She hesitated. Yuka glanced back at her. "Is something wrong, Ranma?" "No. I was just thinking, that's all." Ayumi walked on ahead. "Well, you'd better be thankful my turning into a girl isn't permanent. If it was, everyone'd be saying we're perfect for each other even more." Ranma paled. She hadn't thought of that possibility. "Don't worry. *We* don't think you're perfectly matched," Sayuri grinned. "Uh... thanks, I guess," smirked Ayumi. Seven minutes later they arrived at the pool. Ayumi stopped short of the door leading to the girls' changing room. Ranma, Sayuri and Yuka looked at her quizzically. "I... don't have to go in *there*, do I?" Ranma shrugged. "You can't go in the guys' room looking like that. We wouldn't have to worry about this if you'd put on your swimsuit under your clothes like we told you to do, you know!" "I shouldn't have to put it on at ALL." "Fine. Then go out there without a top on like all the other guys. You saw how they were looking at you at the fight." Ranma definitely had a point, but Ayumi kept her mouth shut. "You're going in. And I hope you don't mind my keeping my hand over your eyes the whole time," Ranma said, matter-of-factly. "What?" spluttered Ayumi. "I'm a grown boy... er, girl. You don't have to worry about me staring at anyone." "Well, I don't want to think about you staring at me," Sayuri made a face. "Me either," said Yuka, and Ranma agreed. "Really? You're not going to stare at anyone." Ayumi shook her head no. "Then explain to me why you had a nosebleed and fainted when Kunou showed up and chased you into our locker room during P.E. last week," Ranma folded her arms. Ayumi thought about it for a second. This was the type of question Ranma could obviously use against her as an excuse to beat the living daylights out of her. "You tell me. You guys were throwing so much crap at us, it's a wonder you didn't kill us!" Ranma rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. It's not like we were throwing anything *sharp* or *heavy* at you." "Uh, Ranma?" Yuka thought to point out. "What about those exercise weights you got Kunou with?" "That's Kunou. We're talking about Ayumi, here." Sayuri smiled knowingly. "Wasn't it you who said they weren't any different?" At this, Ayumi frowned. "What, you're comparing *me* to that... idiot?" This time, it was Ranma who kept silent. "You act just as insensitive and ignorant at times," Yuka said quietly. "Enough! Can't we talk somewhere else? Everyone's starting to stare." One look around told them Ranma was right. They *were* standing close to the entrance to the girls' changing room, after all. "Okay." Sayuri and Yuka went into the changing room. Ayumi took a step back. "Uh... I've changed my mind. I'm going home." She started to head in the direction she had come. "Get back here, you wimp!" Ranma caught Ayumi before she could leave and dragged her - protesting the entire distance - into the changing room. Even after an hour or so of monopolizing the high-dive board, Ayumi hadn't allowed herself to relax, as the trio she had arrived with had suggested she do. Or perhaps *threatened* would have been a better word. She sprang off the diving board, this time pushing away with as much force as she could manage without breaking off the end of the board... all the while yelling, "STUPID OLD WITCH----!!" at the top of her lungs. "Nee, Ranma?" Ranma glanced up from the _Ribbon_ magazine she had been reading in a lounge chair at poolside. Two more of her classmates were taking a seat at a nearby table. "Aki-chan! Michiko-chan! You didn't tell us you were going to come!" Akiko's eyes were on Ayumi. "Isn't that Ayumi-kun? I thought he'd gone back to being a guy?" "Me, too!" said Michiko. "How did he do that, anyway?" Ranma set her magazine aside. She knew she was only fooling herself. Coming to a pool only to sit beside it in a swimsuit... it was all she could do at a public swimming pool as a girl, regardless. What with her curse, being unable to swim and all, if any of that water came in contact with her - if anyone innocently decided to splash her - she would become a very embarrassed boy dressed in a swimsuit designed for a smaller body. She had already tried coming as a boy... that time, she desperately wanted to forget. she had thought, then immediately scolded herself for doing so. Ayumi's misfortune wasn't anything to laugh at when it was considerably similar to her own. But what to tell Akiko and Michiko? She couldn't very well tell them that Ayumi was still a girl because she wanted to be one, which was the farthest from the truth. Everyone at school except for Yuka and Sayuri believed that Ayumi had used some kind of special martial-arts trick to change his gender, one that could be reversed by hot water. Not a bad excuse in Ranma's opinion - except it would wear thin rather quickly. She wanted to end her curse, *not* come up with an excuse for it or explain it away. Ranma decided to tell her two classmates something closer to the truth... that Ayumi had had a slight accident that was temporarily keeping the hot water from taking effect. "Yeah, well..." she sighed. Nearby, a group of boys were watching Ayumi intentionally sink to the bottom of the pool like a lead weight, her arms and legs folded tightly. "Is she new to Nerima? 'Cause if I'd seen someone as cute as her before, I'd remember her." "Oh, yeah, right! Like you'd ever have a chance with anyone like her." "You sure about that? Wanna make a bet?" The third and final member of the group continued to watch Ayumi sink, murmuring, "What a strange girl." Ayumi forced a scowl - which wasn't easy with a mouthful of air. She settled to the very bottom of the pool. She peripherally noticed something moving behind her. Thrashing through the water, coming closer... She turned her head to look at it. A second later, she was face-to-face with a cat he knew all too well... Shampoo, in her alternate form. Ayumi would have screamed if she could. She kicked her way back to the surface of the water, followed by Shampoo. What was *she* doing here? Ayumi took a deep breath and let out the scream she had been saving. "Waaaaah!" she screeched, swimming away from Shampoo. To no avail. Shampoo was intent on chasing him; she was fully aware Ayumi had a paralyzing fear of cats, and all she had to do was change into a cat to have the upper hand in dealing with him. She chased the terrified Ayumi from one end of the pool to the other and back again. "I've never seen anyone swim THAT fast before!" one of the boys who had been admiring Ayumi said, amazed. Ranma stood to get a better view of the chase. Of *course* it would be her! Who else? There was no other reason for a cat to be in a swimming pool. Ayumi's screams of feline-induced terror were always the same. No way did she want that to happen again. It had taken her presence to eventually calm Ayumi down. After *that* was *the kiss*... She made her way to the close end of the pool, hoping to catch Ayumi and Shampoo as they passed and haul them out of the pool. But Ayumi, in her mad rush to avoid Shampoo, rammed headfirst into the concrete wall before Ranma was close enough to reach them. Ranma knelt on the top of the cracked concrete border wall in order to pull the unconscious girl onto dry land. Shampoo was too small as a cat to pull herself out, so she let Ranma lift her by the fur on the back of her neck and wrap her in a towel. Now, to find some hot water. Shampoo flinched as Ranma poured hot water over her feline head. Transforming between her cat and normal form was a longer process than the one Ranma had to undergo, because her molecules had to undergo an insane amount of reorganizing just to shift her between the diminutive form of a cat and her proper body. Only Ryomi, who transformed into a small black pig, or Genma, who became a giant panda, had to wait longer to finish their transformations. She accepted the dry towel Ranma threw to her and wrapped it around her body while Ranma covered Ayumi's eyes. A smirk came to her lips - hadn't her future husband already seen her without clothes on, on more than one occasion? "Okay, Shampoo, spill it," Ranma said pointedly. Both she and Ayumi had already taken the time to change back into their street clothes. Shampoo wondered what Ranma had meant by her words. Spill it? Spill what? If Ranma was referring to the hot water, *she* had already spilled it, hadn't she? Ah... her knowledge of the Japanese language wasn't enough to cover the ever-changing world of slang. Ranma noted the look of confusion on Shampoo's face and understood. She began again. "Why are you here?" "I came to talk to my beloved." Naturally, this didn't surprise either Ranma or Ayumi in the least. "I thought he would like to know that there is a medicine which can counter the effects of the Soushin Neko-jita," Shampoo turned her attention to Ayumi, who sat on a chair near the door of the equipment room Ranma had brought them into to change Shampoo back and find out why the girl from China had bothered to come. Ayumi bolted out of her chair and was kneeling beside Shampoo before Ranma could get a word out. "Are you telling the truth, Shampoo?" demanded Ayumi. Shampoo brought her face closer to Ayumi's, bringing a finger up to one eye. "Would these eyes lie to you?" Ranma rolled her eyes. "The medicine is known as the Fushichougan." Ayumi blinked. "Fushichougan...?" The *fushichou* was the legendary phoenix, a bird which was rumored to have risen from its own ashes. Ranma wondered aloud whether this supposed 'medicine' of Shampoo's had anything to do with that legend. "The strong shall rise from the flames, as they say," nodded Shampoo. "So where is this medicine?" Ayumi asked, having heard enough. Shampoo and Cologne were already nearing the top of Ayumi's 'not-to-be-trusted' list, but since they were the reason he was trapped in the form of a girl for the time being, Ayumi had to follow up on any cure they claimed to have. She idly asked herself why Ranma wasn't actively pursuing Cologne for any possible cures to *her* condition, as well. Surely Cologne had *something* to cancel out the effects of the Nan-Ni-Chuan? Oh, well - it was better to worry about curing herself first, then Ranma. she amended, though her words lacked conviction. The last thing Ayumi needed was for people to believe he actually cared - deeply - about what happened to Ranma. But, try as she might, she couldn't maintain the act. Maybe it was sympathy toward someone with a similar problem; or maybe her new body chemistry was helping her to see things differently. Maybe the tomboy was right when she said he thought and reacted with his hormones. No. That couldn't be right. What did Ranma know, anyway? "Great-great grandmother has it." Ranma mentally shrugged. Ayumi started for the door. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Ranma grabbed Ayumi's wrist to keep her from getting too far. "Hold it!" She turned her head to look at Shampoo. "Shampoo - why are you telling us this?" "Who said I'm telling *you* anything?" Shampoo said, feigning innocence. "And why are you looking at me like that? Are you some kind of hentai girl?" She made a point of adjusting her towel. Ranma's expression changed for the worst. She dumped a bucket of cold water over Shampoo's head and left the bucket there. "Who are you to call me a hentai, you *hentai*!?" Why, the nerve of Shampoo, suggesting that she was some kind of deviant! Especially when *Shampoo* didn't seem to mind making sudden appearances in front of Ayumi without any clothes on! Ranma looked around for Ayumi, but the cursed boy had left in all the minor confusion. "Great. Now see what you did, Shampoo?" "The Nekohanten... here!" It hadn't taken long for Ayumi to find Cologne's restaurant; she knew precisely where she needed to go. "All right, old witch! Come on out!" she yelled, charging in through the front door. Cologne was seated behind the counter making sure the amount of money in the register was what it was supposed to be. "Oh... hello, son-in-law. Have you come to pledge yourself now and forever to Shampoo?" Ayumi frowned. "In your dreams, old bat!" Then she saw it... a dull yellow locket about the size and shape of a compact, worn around Cologne's neck on a faux gold chain. And on it... the word 'fushichougan' written in Kanji. She reached out a hand to grab it. "I'll take that!" Cologne merely bounced upward to avoid her strike and brought the thick end of her staff against Ayumi's forehead... Ranma, too, knew precisely where Ayumi was liable to head. After Ranma had left her behind to chase after Ayumi, Shampoo had found the hot water faucet, retrieved her clothes, and set out after Ranma. They arrived at the Nekohanten in time to see Ayumi sail out the restaurant doors and into an open garbage can. Shampoo inhaled. "Aiyaa..." Not being one to give up, Ayumi pulled herself out of the trashcan and strode angrily back into the restaurant. Clouds of dust filled the doorway, making it nearly impossible for Ranma to discern exactly what the sounds of things being broken were coming from. Five seconds later, Ayumi came flying back through the restaurant doors... this time, upside down. "You'll never be able to beat great-great grandmother," Shampoo called to Ayumi as she flew past. "I'm NEVER gonna give up!" was Ayumi's only response. As she drifted past the telephone pole directly across from the Nekohanten doors - not to mention a surprised man who happened to be walking along the road - she noticed a want-ad stapled to the pole. The ad read: "In-house waitress required at the Nekohanten. Experience preferred; apply within." "That's it!" Ayumi exclaimed, ripping the ad from the pole and repositioning herself to land on her feet. Shampoo's eyes widened in recognition - she had been the one to put the ad on the pole in the first place. Ranma peered over Ayumi's shoulder at the ad, then at Ayumi. "Are you crazy? You don't have any experience as a waitress, let alone being a girl! Maybe I should apply..." "Great-great grandmother doesn't want ugly girls as waitresses," Shampoo said evenly. Ranma took a swing at Shampoo with her mallet but purposely missed, hoping Shampoo would get the hint. She wasn't in the mood to put up with any nonsense from Shampoo... certainly not today. ** ** ** "Hey, you wanna go eat some ramen at the Nekohanten?" Hiroshi asked. Daisuke nodded. "I heard they've got a really cute new waitress there!" An unusual sight awaited them as they entered the Nekohanten - the still-female Ayumi, dressed in a two-piece, short-sleeved Chinese outfit with a waitress' white apron-dress layered over it. Assorted bandages covered bruises here and there along Ayumi's forearms, chin, and the bridge of her nose; she had been spending the better part of a week locked in frequent battles with Cologne for the fushichougan medicine. "Irasshai--!" she greeted Hiroshi and Daisuke, then paused as she saw who she was talking to. Ayumi quickly turned back to delivering bowls of ramen to the tables. Hiroshi did a double-take. "Huh? Isn't that Ayumi?" "I thought he went back to being a guy?" Daisuke blinked. "Son-in-law," Cologne called Ayumi once the girl had returned to the counter. While she was sure enough of Ayumi's compliance with the irreversible Joketsuzoku laws that she had labeled him her 'son-in-law,' as a girl Ayumi was supposed to be a waitress in her restaurant, and it would be disconcerting to the customers - not to mention difficult to explain - if she called a girl her son-in-law anywhere but in private. She pushed a bowl of ramen within Ayumi's reach on the counter. "Here is the order for table eight." "Ha--i!!" Ayumi said cheerfully, and with a broad smile... drawing on her perceptions on how a girl behaved... at least as far as she had seen her entire life. Ranma would beat the you-know-what out of her for the act - but the truth of the matter was, the Nekohanten's 'cute' new waitress was drawing in more customers than usual. And the words 'kamban musume' *had* been a part of her job description. Shampoo was both the chief waitress at the Nekohanten, not to mention a kamban musume, though she spent far more time making deliveries than waiting on customers in the restaurant. As Ayumi reached for the bowl, she noticed the one simple cure for her condition, as far as she knew, resting again around Cologne's neck, daring her to take it. Cologne blocked Ayumi's attempt to grab the fushichougan with the bowl of ramen. Ayumi tried again, only to be blocked at every turn. Soon, they were both juggling the bowl. "Better, but still not good enough." Nonetheless, Ayumi was determined to take the fushichougan from Cologne. "Amazing!" Hiroshi said, keeping an eye on the furious exchange. Daisuke feigned a yawn. "So they're keeping a bowl suspended in midair. What's the big deal about that?" As Cologne continued to repel Ayumi's attempts, the cook placed five more bowls of hot ramen on the counter beside her. "Here's the five orders for table three!" Cologne promptly pushed each bowl into Ayumi's hands as soon as they were left on the counter. Ayumi wound up having to reposition herself so that the original bowl rested on her head, two bowls rested on each of her arms, and she had to keep the final bowl aloft on a pair of chopsticks clenched in her teeth. "Get those out to the customers quickly," her employer said in a sardonic tone of voice while their 'audience' applauded the show. "We wouldn't want them to have to eat cold food, now, would we?" "Stupid old witch," Ayumi muttered under her breath, too low for anyone to hear. Aside from making Ranma promise not to apply for a job as a waitress at the Nekohanten, Ayumi had insisted that Ranma not make it a point to check up on her; she was embarrassed enough as it was, and Ranma would only make matters worse. There was also the chance that people would recognize her as Tendo Ayumi if Ranma was near... Ayumi was pretending to be a normal girl until she was rid of her curse. Having Daisuke and Hiroshi come in practically ever day to leer at her definitely didn't help. Fortunately, though, Ranma was keeping her distance. Ranma had been behaving unusually civil toward her these past two weeks, almost... sympathetic. As if she knew the difficulty of abruptly having to be a different gender other than the one assigned before one's birth. Ayumi couldn't wait for everything to return to normal, so that *he* could start arguing with Ranma again, as they usually did. Having Ranma be nice to her was... well, *weird*. Ranma wasn't calling her a 'hormone-crazed macho pervert' for the time being, or looking for ways to embarrass her. And it had been quite a while since she had called Ranma a 'sex-changing tomboy freak,' too. Ranma could easily turn around and use that very same insult against *her*, anyway. This *wasn't* the way things were supposed to be. Ranma stopped outside the doors to the Nekohanten. She'd spent most of the day out having fun with her friends. Since the restaurant was on her route home, she had decided it wouldn't hurt to check on how Ayumi was doing. Hadn't he claimed he would have the fushichougan by now and be back to normal? Then why was Ayumi still a girl? Hmm... no screams, no inexplicable crashes or the sound of broken glass. No signs of decreasing property value, either. That was an encouraging sign. Then she heard the applause. She stepped through the doors, cautiously announcing her presence. "Konnichiwa--" Her eyes found Ayumi. The girl was shuffling between the tables - spinning six bowls of ramen for the customers atop long dowel rods... and a seventh atop a much shorter rod, balanced upon a rubber ball Ayumi was holding aloft on a pair of chopsticks protruding from her mouth. She looked none too pleased about the whole affair. Ranma waited until Ayumi had delivered the seven orders to approach her. "Ayumi? Are you *sure* you don't want to quit? She's obviously overworking you on purpose." Ayumi gave her a dubious laugh. "Oh, that? It's nothing!" "What? Are you nuts? She's got you running circus acts in here! So what's next, Ayumi? A one-girl band?" "No way! Besides, I don't even know how to play any instruments!" Ranma frowned. Turning Ayumi into a girl may have altered his hormonal balance, changing the influence on his thoughts, but his lackluster sense of pride and honor remained in full force. She still thought and reasoned much like the original Ayumi. Cologne's appearance saved her from having to give in to the impulse to insult Ayumi for not bothering to think before she spoke. "It's time for your break, son-in-law." She gestured toward the doors that led out into the alley behind the Nekohanten. "Come. I have something to show you." Five minutes later, Ranma joined Cologne, Shampoo and Ayumi in the alley as Cologne was busying herself with lighting a small fire in the center of the path. The Chinese elder didn't seem to mind her presence, which Ranma found unusual. She knew Cologne and Shampoo wanted her out of the way when it came to Ayumi, so that Ayumi had no choice but to marry Shampoo - which they claimed he was law-bound to do, regardless. Ranma wondered how they would react when they learned Ryomi was in love with Ayumi, if they hadn't already. There was no denying the considerable sarcasm in Ayumi's voice. "You brought us out here to show us that you like to start fires in alleys?" Cologne purposely ignored him. "Shampoo... the bag, please." The bag Shampoo handed to her was a small, dark sack, with the words "Tenshin Amaguri" printed on it in Kanji, as far as the Japanese interpretation of the Kanji was concerned. "Ahh," Cologne exhaled, "roasted sweet chestnuts. My favorite." She dumped the contents of the bag into the fire. "Now, watch closely." Then, turning to the fire, Cologne plunged both hands directly into it. Her hands blurred as she moved them out of and into the fire. Four seconds later, she held out both hands for them to see - each hand containing every last one of the chestnuts from within the fire. She smiled. "Would you like to see that again?" Shampoo stood up, excitedly and proud. "It's the legendary technique, the Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken!" "A speed technique, right?" asked Ranma. The technique essentially lived up to its name... the person executing the Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken pulled chestnuts out of the midst of a fire. To Ranma, it sounded like something a person would do on a dare, but she was already imagining ways the technique could be adapted for other purposes... such as hand-to-hand fighting. And she was right. "You must learn to master the speed of the Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken if you wish to take the fushichougan from me, son-in-law!" cackled Cologne, before disappearing back into the restaurant atop her staff. Ayumi narrowed her eyes. "Okay, fine!" she yelled, stomping her right foot down on the ground to add weight to her words. "If that's what it takes... I can pull anything out of a fire, no problem!" She was practically burning with anger - or was that something *else*? Ranma nervously thought, noting that Ayumi's stomp had placed her foot in the very middle of the fire. "Try starting with your foot, *baka*." Shampoo doused the fire - and Ayumi's leg - by pouring a bucket of water onto both. "You really shouldn't step into a fire like that," she admonished. "Only a minor setback," rasped Ayumi. "It didn't hurt at all." <...to be continued...> Credits: -------- Written by: Mike Koos Pre-readers: Richard Beaubien, Tom Williams, David Wills With apologies to Takahashi Rumiko... (and everyone for the delays in getting this part out). All parts of this series are available at the RAAC archives at ftp://ftp.cs.ubc.ca/pub/archive/anime-fan-works or from my WWW pages at http://www.fanfic.net/~makoto/ Comments and questions welcome. * Mike ('Kino Makoto') Koos: makoto@cal.net * http://www.fanfic.net/~makoto * * "I can do nothing to stop you. Your background music is too strong * for me." - Sam Johnson, Whose Line is it Anyway?