He forced himself to look at the picture. That... *womanizer*! Tendo Ayumi had lost his mind, believing himself to be a cat, and kissed her. Kissed *Ranma*. Full, and on the lips. He'd snapped a picture of the moment, so that he would never forget it. It was all there for him to see... the horror evident in Ranma's eyes and paled face. The cat-like smile on Ayumi's lips. Tendo Ayumi had crossed the line. Hikaru quivered with anger as he memorized Ranma's stunned expression. "*Evil*, *wicked* Tendo Ayumi! How *dare* his confused mind decide he should lay a hand on poor, innocent Ranma!" He prepared to drive a nail through Ayumi's face in the picture. He would drive a hundred nails through a hundred copies of the picture, if that was what it took! With the negatives he could do anything... "Evil, wicked Tendo Ayumi!" Hikaru pounded. "Evil, wicked Tendo Ayumi! Evil, wicked--" Someone's fist reached out from behind him to drive in the nail with a single knuckle-punch. Hikaru turned... and found the blazing anger in the eyes of Hibiki Ryomi. Destiny's Wish Part Twenty-Two: Why Does It Always Have to be Me? written by Mike Koos ------------------------ Ayumi was incredulous. "I *kissed* Ranma? What in the world are you talking about, old man?" Soun had found Ayumi in the dojo, running through a few fast-paced training exercises to work off his anxiety. "Don't take that tone of voice with me, young man," he admonished Ayumi. Ayumi took a seat on the floor to rest and his father followed suit. "I was there. I, and everyone else saw you kiss her... and I must say, it's about time you showed some initiative. Even if you were under the influence of the Nekoken at the time." Ayumi frowned. "You're nuts! This is just some dumb trick to get me and Ranma to--" His rant was interrupted by a loud rumbling. "What the...?" From Ayumi and Soun both. A hand burst forth from the floor just short of Ayumi's lap to yank him down by the collar. The next thing he knew, Ryomi and Hikaru were stepping out of a hole in the floor. Hikaru grinned, though he wasn't entirely sure why. "Oh, *hello*, Tendo-kun! Fancy meeting you here!" Ryomi still held him by the collar, cutting off his circulation, so Ayumi tried to shift himself hoping he might find a way to breathe easier. "What do *you two* want?" he growled in between gasps for breath. "SHUT UP!" Ryomi howled, her face reddening in anger and embarrassment. "You think I'll let you get away with--" "Get away with what?" he asked, wrenching himself free. When it came to Ryomi, the cause of her anger could be almost anything. Ryomi shoved a fresh copy of Hikaru's picture in his face. For the first time, Ayumi saw proof of what he had done. He *had* kissed Ranma. Those were his lips meeting hers. A kiss she obviously hadn't expected... "Sorry to be lurking underneath your floors like this," Hikaru apologized to Soun. Ryomi aimed a punch at Ayumi's chest, but Ayumi successfully dodged it, heading for the entrance to the dojo. "It's a lie! I'll bet you had camera-geek there make that picture up, didn't you?" he yelled. Before he reached the door, however, the tip of a wooden sword slashed through the thin wall nearest to him, heading straight for him. Kunou furiously tore a new doorway in the wall. "*Tendo*...!! You are BEYOND forgiveness!" "Ku-Kunou..." stammered Ayumi. "Sheesh - why can't all these losers just LEAVE ME ALONE?" Ayumi trudged along the street, using a sawed-off broom handle he had found as a makeshift cane. Kunou and Ryomi - though it hadn't been their intent - had double-teamed him and beaten him severely. And his father, and Hikaru... oh, they stood back and *watched*. Dad would probably say that defeats were good to teach one what he or she was doing wrong, and to keep one's pride from going to one's head. An object lesson. There was a slight breeze in the evening air. He paused every so often to look up at the stars or moon, or listen to someone's dog baying. He pulled himself through the pale circles of light formed by the overhead street-lamps slowly, so that he would not forget the pain. "I don't remember kissing her, and I'd certainly never..." Wait. Ayumi mentally reviewed the evidence. First, he'd awakened after succumbing to the Nekoken implanted head-first in the high-dive board above the Fuurinkan High swimming pool. Cats certainly didn't go around creating holes in diving boards with their heads. Ranma had avoided him since his transformation, as far as he knew. And now, a picture of him kissing Ranma, something he wouldn't have done on purpose were he in control of his mind and body. He closed his eyes, imagining how Ranma must feel at this very moment. "I'll bet Ranma's really ticked off......" Dr. Tofu sized up the expression on Ranma's face. "Is something the matter, Ranma-chan?" Startled, Ranma lifted her head. "Eh...?" There were very few people Ranma could turn to for the purpose of talking about her problems; she was the only girl in a household consisting mostly of men and boys. She knew she could count on her friends to listen, to relate to the problems she faced - although they each had to admit that the predicaments Ranma occasionally wound up in were more unusual than most. As time passed Dr. Tofu had allowed herself to act as a stand-in mother and friend for Ranma, someone who could help her find solutions to her problems... or at the very least, be someone young Ranma could confide in. Ranma had come here tonight for that very purpose, though she was too embarrassed by everything that had taken place to tell Dr. Tofu about it. "Come on, I can tell by the way you're acting that something's bothering you." The doctor liked to believe she knew her pseudo-daughter well enough to accurately gauge Ranma's feelings. Ranma blushed slightly, waving a free hand before her as a distraction and offering an uneasy laugh. "Ah... eh-heh... there's nothing bothering me, Tofu-sensei! Nothing at all." "...Okay," shrugged Tofu. It was difficult to get Ranma to talk about something if she wouldn't admit there was anything wrong. "But remember, if you want to talk about it, you know where to find me." Ranma hid her face behind her cup of tea, sipping slowly. She paused. The more she thought about it, the more it angered her. She stood with resolve. "I think I'd better be going home now," Ranma said, thanking the doctor for the tea. Ranma walked over to the clinic's entrance and slid the door open... just as Ayumi was preparing to do the exact same thing from the opposite side of the door. Their eyes met momentarily while the blood rushed to their faces. "Uh..." Ayumi fumbled, then fell silent. They let their gazes drop to their feet. Dr. Tofu rounded the corner, coming into the lobby. "Oh, good evening, Ayumi-kun," she smiled. She noticed that Ranma and Ayumi were standing about a foot or two apart, unable to bring themselves to look at each other. "That's odd," Dr. Tofu said while applying a bandage to Ayumi's cheek. "Usually, the two of you aren't this quiet..." They were almost silent, in fact. Ranma stood a slight distance apart from them, in front of the changing screen. She kept her hands locked tightly before her, her feet pointed somewhat toward each other and her gaze lowered, as though she were ashamed to look into anyone else's eyes. Ayumi was also reticent... though he was more willing to bring his head up for Dr. Tofu to examine him. Tofu thought briefly about asking Ayumi about whatever it was that involved both him and Ranma. Would Ayumi tell her what Ranma was too embarrassed to talk about? "Delivery for Doctor Tofu Orisa!" she heard a voice call from the waiting room. A delivery, this late in the evening? Hmm... questioning Ayumi would have to wait. "Ha-i!" she answered. "I'll be right back," Tofu told Ranma and Ayumi, heading for the door. "Don't go anywhere." As if they could bring themselves to do that. They allowed a long, tense minute pass between them without a word. Ayumi was the first to speak. "Ah... ano......" He exhaled, and began again. "I apologize." Ranma gasped. She turned to look at him. "You know... what you did?" Her voice faltered; she hoped Ayumi hadn't noticed the slip. "Well..." Ayumi's expression became sheepish. "Not all of it. I just want you to know that I'd never... well, you know..." The cursed girl hesitated. "When I change like that I never remember anything I've done." How convenient. She clenched a fist behind her back to help keep her anxiety in check. "Oh. I see... so, this could've happened to anyone, right?" "Huh?" In the waiting room, Dr. Tofu thanked the deliveryman and set her package down on the counter to unwrap it. The box was empty. She found a hole punched in the bottom of the box. <...I'd try to break out, too, if I was trapped in a box with no air.> "What d'you mean by 'this could've happened to anyone!?'" Ayumi's temper was starting to return. Was Ranma insinuating he was lying? "Figure it out." Unknown by either of them, a cat watched them argue from atop a tall bookshelf, hidden behind boxes of spare bandages and cloth masks. Ayumi tensed. "Do you seriously think I did any of that on purpose?" "Cats are supposed to be *smart*." The cat grimaced. "What would you have done if I accidentally kissed a different girl?" "Well, at least THEN you wouldn't've embarrassed me as much!" "This is all about you, huh?" countered Ayumi. "And don't you forget it." He advanced. "Why, you--" Ranma brought a fist up to his face. "Don't even think about it! I KNEW you were lying to save face! I REALLY hate you!" "Yeah!?" Ayumi said, for lack of an interesting comeback. "Well, you are so not cute that--" "Oh, get out of my face, you coward! You can't even act like a man!" she yelled. "I'm sick and tired of your excuses, and I'm sick and tired of sticking up for you! Why don't you just GROW UP?" And with that, she place-kicked him through the closest wall. Dr. Tofu returned to the room and stepped in front of the hole. "Hmm... I don't remember a window here..." Ranma was doing her best not to scream in frustration, muttering, "Ayumi no baka!!" The cat narrowed her eyes. Ayumi went straight home and closed himself in the bathroom to take his bath. "Hmph, she's got some nerve!" Ranma wasn't around, so he could bad-mouth her as much as he wanted. "She's supposed to have a brain. Why doesn't she use it?" He yanked off his shirt and jeans. "I try to be nice and apologize for accidentally kissing her, and..." <"Don't even think about it! I KNEW you were lying to save face! I REALLY hate you!"> <"Oh, get out of my face, you coward! You can't even act like a man!"> Ayumi considered Ranma's words. <...But she's got every right to be mad...> He had almost made it to the shower door when the cat that had eavesdropped on his last argument strolled into the room. It was an unusual cat, wearing sets of small bells secured to small tufts of fur on each side of her head. Her fur was a peculiar shade of white with patches of solid gray covering her ears, paws and the end of her tail. Ayumi screamed. A cat!? "Ah... ah... ah...... Waaah!" The cat edged him backward into the tub full of hot water, and pushed Ayumi in. Both Ayumi and the cat went under the surface of the water. In all of his frantic flailing, Ayumi could have sworn he saw the cat *changing form*... He surfaced. An instant after that a familiar face rose from the water. Ayumi froze. Across from him, less than a foot away from him, a completely nude Shampoo settled back into the water - but not enough to hide her chest. Apparently, Shampoo wasn't as modest as Ranma or Ryomi. He finally found his voice, trying to keep his nose from bleeding. "Sha... Shampoo...?" Shampoo grinned. "Niihao!" she greeted him in her usual cheerful manner. Ranma paused in the foyer to exchange her tennis shoes for her house slippers. She pursed her lips, lingering anger at Ayumi continuing to darken her thoughts. She heard the soft touch of her slippers against the aged wood floor. she reconsidered. Shampoo clasped her hands to her chest. "Ayumi, I'm so happy to see you!" her eyes glimmered. Ayumi was still making an attempt to sort through this new development to notice how much better Shampoo's Japanese had become. "Shampoo... YOU were that cat...?" Hot water... a Jhusenkyou curse, then. That made it a grand total of three girls out to get him one way or another, all of them with their own personal curses. Ranma, Ryomi and Shampoo... and each didn't readily care for the other two. The girl from China gleefully hugged him, causing his nose to spurt blood. "This is great!" Ranma threw open the door to the bathroom. "Hey - I thought I heard--" The sight of Ayumi and Shampoo together in the bath greeted her. Ayumi brought up a hand - whether to foolishly try to hide his face or wave at her like a complete idiot, he hadn't yet decided. She ran out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. ** ** ** "SHUT UP! I'm NOT done talking!" Ranma angrily yelled a retort at Ayumi, but he refused to listen. "I told you, this is all just a big misunderstanding!" Yeah, sure it was. Pity he was the only one who believed that. Ranma shook her fists and yelled something else he didn't bother to listen to. "That's the way it happened. So there's no way you can argue about it!" he replied, calmly slapping her. Ayumi smirked as the daydream ended. "Perfect! Now I'm prepared for anything!" He had tried to be fully prepared, at any rate; the debris lying on the ground around him implied he had even guessed Ranma might wield her trademarked mallet or another weapon against him. When it came to Ranma, anything *was* possible. He cleared away the debris. "There's nothing she can say that'll surprise me. I'm ready for any of her stupid responses!" The next step was to find her. Hmm... he recalled hearing Kasuga say that it was Ranma's turn to water the plants in the garden today. That, then, was where she would be. Ayumi ran up to her. "RANMA!!!" She looked up at him and smiled. "Ah, Ayumi-kun, ohayou," Ranma said, liltingly. This was one possibility Ayumi had not prepared for. "Eh...?" Ranma went on with her watering, still wearing the same casual smile. "Umm...," Ayumi reached a hand behind his head. Maybe this was going to be easy after all. "You remember... about what happened last night...?" "What happened?" An innocent question. He tried a similar smile. "You know, what happened in the bath?" Ranma turned to face him. "Oh, that? Don't worry!" She brought the watering can down on his head, letting the water spill all over him before place-kicking him once more into the skies. "It's not like I'm upset or anything!" The watering can fell from Ayumi's head as he sailed over several houses, scaring two birds flying past at a lower altitude. "Idiot. That tomboy is *so* not cute." Peripherally, he noticed a small shape bounding across the rooftops below, coming his way... "Huh?" It rapidly converged on the spot where he had been, as Ayumi brought his legs up and around to flip roughly out of the way. Ah, but grace in martial arts was more Ranma's concern than his. There were no points to be had for gracefulness when an opponent was beating you into a bloody mess. Both he and the unknown attacker landed opposite each other on the reinforced crest of a house. It was here that Ayumi had his first clear view of the attacker. A rather elderly, shrunken woman, in his opinion, perched at the top of a gnarled staff readily three times her height. She was dressed in Chinese robes; a mane of gray hair also longer than her, unless she was making a deliberate effort to conceal her true height beneath those robes. If she did, it would be foolish not to prepare for another attack. He shifted to a defensive stance. "Who are you, and what do you want?" he asked, fixing his gaze on his opponent. A knowing look crossed her face. "Do not concern yourself with me... son-in-law." She laughed heartily aloud as she turned to bound away. "Until we meet again!" Ayumi let her depart without saying a single word. He had a slightly more confusing issue occupying his concerns, now. "Son... in-law...?" ** ** ** It was nearly lunchtime when Ayumi returned home. "Ayumi?" Kasuga looked surprised, after greeting him at the front door. "Sorry, I thought you were the ramen deliveryperson. I didn't know you'd gone out." Ayumi scowled. "It was all Ranma's idea." Kasuga understood. "Ah. I see." There was another knock at the door. "Ramen delivery!!" A girl's voice. Ayumi brought a hand up to cover his face in disbelief. "Ayumi?" Kasuga instinctively glanced back at where he had last seen his younger brother. "Would you get the door while--" But Ayumi had disappeared. He opened the door. Shampoo was waiting patiently there, hefting two wooden delivery boxes as though they were nothing. "Ramen delivery for Tendo Kasuga," she repeated, closing her eyes and flashing an attractive smile. Next to Shampoo stood an older woman whom Kasuga did not recognize, carrying a staff three times her height. "Ah, Shampoo-chan. We haven't seen you around in a while," he greeted her. "And you," he bowed respectfully to the older woman, "must be Cologne. Pleased to meet you." "Thank you for inviting us," Cologne returned the gesture. "It was the least I could do when I heard that you and Shampoo were starting a new restaurant in the area," Kasuga nodded. "Please, follow me." As it turned out, everyone in the house was already gathered in the family room for one reason or another - including Ayumi, who had deluded himself with the hope that Shampoo would not enter the house beyond the front door. All of them were seated around the table except for Ranma, who sat at the edge of the deck outside, P-chan resting in her arms. Had Kasuga known to look at either Ayumi or P-chan as he brought their guests into the room, he would have seen one or the other recoil at the sight of Shampoo and Cologne. "What's wrong, P-chan?" Ranma asked her little pet. She followed P-chan's gaze to see what had startled her. "Shampoo," she hissed between her teeth. No wonder P-chan was upset! Naka casually acknowledged Shampoo's presence. "I heard you went to China and came back," he said. Naka had always considered the idea of taking a trip to China one of these days; but pulling the necessary money out of the family budget was out of the question. Besides, it wouldn't do to leave all his... *investments* unsupervised for any length of time. Who knew what kind of business opportunities might pop up while he was gone? Shampoo nodded. She set both delivery boxes down on the table. "For you, we have brought the special of the week. We call this our 'Grand Opening'-soba." Ayumi peered at the dishes of noodles. "Grand opening?" he echoed. "Yes," Kasuga told him. "They're opening a ramen restaurant, the 'Nekohanten,' in our neighborhood." Naka sipped at his noodle dish. "Hey, Ranma?" he called to the girl who hadn't bothered to move from the deck. "This isn't half bad. Don't you want any?" "No. I'm not hungry." Ranma still held a grudge against Shampoo, Ayumi saw, and from the expression on P-chan's face he guessed Ryomi wasn't all that happy to see Shampoo, either. "Oh, well. Your loss," shrugged Naka. A second later, that became true; Genma the panda snatched away the bowl set aside for Ranma and wolfed it down. Cologne leaned her staff against a wall and took up her own bowl. "I have done all of this for Shampoo," she said in between bites. "I am only happy to do whatever I can for her and her husband-to-be." Ayumi's expression went cold. So, Shampoo hadn't given up on wanting him to marry her, after all. But wasn't that... "Huh? It's that old woman." "This is Cologne, my great-great grandmother," Shampoo introduced Cologne to Ayumi. She was about to introduce Ayumi when Soun forcefully intervened. "I don't believe you've met my son Ayumi, who happens to be *engaged* *to* *Ranma*?" Cologne was unimpressed. "The rules of our village supercede all other rules and arrangements." Soun frowned. Cologne and Shampoo were currently guests in his home, and guests were allowed a fair amount of civility, which Cologne was close to losing. Overall, the display might have been more impressive had both of them not been slurping noodles while talking. "I must say, you speak Japanese well," Kasuga complimented Cologne, regardless. "I have had over one hundred years to learn the language," Cologne cackled softly. Naka sat back. "That's why Shampoo speaks Japanese much better now, right? You taught her?" "I did. It would be a tragedy if she and her husband are unable to communicate." They heard a snort come from Ayumi. "I hate to tell you this, 'Grandma,' but you've come a long way for nothing. I'm not gonna marry anyone. Ever." He rose to his feet, pushed his chair in and walked toward the door. Ranma, meanwhile, pursed her lips. Whenever the subject turned to marriage, they would inevitably find a way to drag her into the discussion. Shampoo ran to place herself in between Ayumi and the door. "Ayumi, please come with me," she said, leading him out of the room by his wrist. She led him to the upstairs bathroom and locked the door behind them. As Ayumi tried desperately not to watch, Shampoo pulled off her Chinese dress, tossing it to one side. Ayumi paled. Shampoo was willing to go to *this* kind of extreme just to get him to marry her? "Wh-what d'you think you're doing!?" he stammered. "I hope you don't think this is going to make me feel any different toward you..." He *had* told Shampoo before she left, originally, that he was engaged to Ranma and that engagement could not be broken. However, Cologne was adamant that the rules of their village be enforced. Guess a trip home had renewed Shampoo's desire to have him be her husband. "Don't be a fool," she rebuked him, stepping underneath the shower head and resting a hand on the cold water knob. "I'm cursed now! Like Ranma! See?" Shampoo turned the knob as far as it would go. Ayumi panicked; a moment later a thoroughly wet cat slapped at his twitching face in an attempt to bring him around. Well, if that were the case, it would make more sense to transform back to normal before trying to do anything else to - or with - Ayumi. Her thoughts flashed back to that fateful day, weeks ago, at the cursed training grounds commonly known as "Jhusenkyou." She knew it by a different name - its Chinese name, of course. But that name was little-used in the present day, only appearing in legends, and used by those in the lands immediately neighboring Jhusenkyou. Those from lands outside China, such as Ranma, currently made up most of the visitors to Jhusenkyou; most of the locals knew the story behind the grounds and wisely refused to use them for the purposes which they were originally intended. Others had come throughout the years seeking to use the magic trapped in Jhusenkyou for various purposes, though most of the visitors remained innocents. Shampoo knew Ranma was an innocent, for the sole reason that she did not behave as though she welcomed the curse. What girl would be grateful to turn into a boy anytime she was splashed with cold water? No... neither she nor Ranma would ever again be able to properly go swimming or venture out into the rain without fear. In that regard, Shampoo felt pity for Ranma. Although Ranma's curse left her Human, it was still a curse nonetheless and Shampoo had a similar affliction. They both carried the legendary curse of Jhusenkyou. However, Ranma was not Shampoo's friend; Ranma was her main obstacle in marrying Tendo Ayumi. Any sympathy Shampoo felt for Ranma was dwarfed by that fact. Shampoo could respect Ranma as a fighter, but until the issue of who Ayumi would marry was resolved, they were both enemies. That was the main reason Cologne had taken her granddaughter to train at Jhusenkyou. "[You left to find the boy called 'Ranma,' but were defeated by a boy named 'Ayumi,' who is engaged to a girl named 'Ranma,']" said Cologne, in their native language. Shampoo had told her everything that had happened on her travels - with a few notable exceptions, namely leaving out the fact that she had given Ranma and Ryomi the Kiss of Death, and that Ayumi's iinazuke was the very same person who had come to her village and inadvertently defeated her. She had convinced Cologne the name 'Ranma' was fairly common in Japan... and even if great-great-grandmother learned the truth, Shampoo had spent some time thinking of ways around the rules of her village. As far as she knew, the rules didn't account for magic or curses. "Should a fighter happen to be defeated by a male outsider..." Well, one could argue that Ranma wasn't really a boy. And when they argued that Ranma was therefore a *girl* at the time she defeated Shampoo and must be killed? Technically, Ranma *was* a boy at the time. Hopefully, that confusion, coupled with Ayumi's more recent defeat making her destined to marry him instead, would be enough to exempt Ranma from the rules. Ranma had been an innocent outsider when she came to Shampoo's village, unaware she was doing anything wrong, and Shampoo felt Ranma deserved not to be marked for the rest of her life because of an innocent mistake. "[I see. In these circumstances, since you were defeated by this 'Ayumi,' he is now the one you must marry. The rules are quite clear on this point.]" Theoretically, once a warrior from Shampoo's village was defeated, she would train hard so that she could not be defeated in the same manner ever again. The next person to defeat her, therefore, would have to be someone stronger than the last. "[But you are in dire need of training, Shampoo. That is why we are here.]" Cologne motioned for Shampoo to assume her stance of readiness on a bamboo pole across from her. "[The lesson shall begin... now!]" They began their fight, clashing in midair and pushing away, to land once more on the poles. At the edge of the grounds, not too far away, the Jhusenkyou Guide and Shampoo's father sat, watching the training take place and enjoying a small meal the Guide had brought. The Guide had thought to warn his charges of the dangers of Jhusenkyou. But who better to understand the danger and avoid it than the women of village Nyuuchezuu? "[Jhusenkyou has seen many visitors lately,]" the Guide said, taking a short puff from his pipe. "[I don't fully understand why you want to use this cursed training ground.]" Before Shampoo's father could answer him, Shampoo blundered into one of Cologne's broad staff swaths and plunged into the lake directly below her. The Guide blanched. "[No! She has fallen into Mao-Nii-Chuan! This is not good!]" "[My daughter!]" Shampoo's father barely heard him. "[In Mao-Nii-Chuan, a cat drowned one thousand... oh, eight hundred years ago. Now anyone who falls into that lake... is cursed to assume the form of that cat!]" As if on cue, Shampoo - now a small white-and-gray cat - struggled to crawl out of Mao-Nii-Chuan, coughing. "[My daughter, Shampoo! No...]" Shampoo settled back into the hot water-filled bathtub, sorrow evident in her expression and voice. "That is how it happened." "Why're you telling me all this?" Ayumi asked her. He was awake now, listening to her story, sitting on the rim of the bathtub and facing away from her. The last thing he wanted was for this to become another one of those weird moments in the bath room with the cursed girl of the day. He was embarrassed enough as it was. If Ranma didn't want to find a mallet to pound him into the floor now, she soon would! Shampoo glanced peripherally back at him. "Because this is all your fault." "Oh, no you don't!" he said, outraged. "You're not pinning the blame for that on me!" Suddenly, Cologne was in the room with them, bringing her staff down on Ayumi's head. "You are the *direct* cause of all of this!" Ayumi shook with anger, looking for a target - and finding one in Cologne, moving to knock her from the top of her staff. "So that's it. I've had about enough from either of you!" Cologne retaliated by trying to sweep Ayumi's feet out from under him with her trusted staff. The boy confidently hopped upward to dodge... but on his way down, his lead foot stepped down on a wet bar of soap Shampoo had slid underneath him. He cartwheeled backward and, when he tried to pull himself up, Cologne brought her staff down on his head again. "How dare you, you old witch!" he yelled. Cologne retreated out the door and down the stairs, leaving the house - but not Ayumi - behind. "I'm not done with you yet!" They shoved and vaulted down public streets, scaring nearly everyone they encountered. Cologne risked a look back at him. "Do you believe you can catch me, little boy?" She ran straight up a utility pole. "Then, follow me!" Ayumi did, much to the surprise of everyone watching them. Ten minutes later Cologne came to rest on the top of a temple gate. "Hmph," she caught her breath. "It is as I feared. Even someone of my advanced years was able to outrun and outwit the boy." Ayumi would need a *lot* of training in order for him to be a suitable husband for Shampoo. And, if Ayumi was this lacking, his defeat of Shampoo meant *Shampoo* needed a lot of training as well. A voice drifted to her from the other end of the gate. "What kept you? I've been waiting here for hours!" Ayumi smirked. Cologne narrowed her eyes, shuffling over to him. "Hmm... perhaps Shampoo has chosen her husband well, after all." "I'm no one's husband!" She smiled. "Is that so?" Cologne raised her staff to prod Ayumi's chest with the narrow end. "Well, then, soon you will be *begging* me to let you marry Shampoo." Ayumi took a step back. Him, beg her to marry Shampoo? Never! (...to be continued...) ------------ Credits: Written by: Mike Koos Prereaders: Richard Beaubien, Tom Williams, David Wills With apologies to Rumiko Takahashi... All parts of this series are available at the RAAC archives at ftp://ftp.cs.ubc.ca/pub/archive/anime-fan-works or from my WWW pages at http://www.fanfic.net/~makoto/ Comments and questions welcome. * Mike ('Kino Makoto') Koos: makoto@cal.net * http://www.fanfic.net/~makoto * * "I can do nothing to stop you. Your background music is too strong * for me." - Sam Johnson, Whose Line is it Anyway?