"Kasuga!" Kasuga failed to hear the call. Three times a week, the eldest of the three Tendo sons - and the family's 'official' housekeeper - made it a point to completely clean every last millimeter of the family room. He had originally done this once, maybe twice a week... but these days unimaginable disarray was far more likely to settle there if he let the room be for too long, what with two grown men and four teenagers sharing the house. This particular morning, Ayumi and Naka had thought having a paper airplane contest before going to school and *not* bothering to clean any of the resulting mess up would be fun. Ranma had left for school early. She and her two friends, Yuka and Sayuri, had volunteered to help prepare the school auditorium for a special academic contest some of the higher classes were scheduled to hold today. Naka's homeroom was among those eligible to take part in the contest, though neither he nor Kunou had signed up. "I do not need a mere contest such as this one to prove to everyone that I possess the most intelligence of anyone attending this school," Kunou had declared at the time. "It couldn't hurt," Naka told him. "Everyone in this school is completely aware of how intelligent I am." "Y'know, sometimes you make things too easy." Kunou nodded. "Yes, I do. Without my presence, the contest participants will no doubt find it much easier to actually come close to winning the contest." Naka decided to keep his silence. Arguing with Kunou Tatewaki long enough could give *anyone* a migraine. Not only that, but he had his own reasons for not entering the contest. Later, when anyone asked, he would tell them he had much more important things to do. It was a moot point now, with the school day over, of course. Naka had come straight home after school and locked himself in his room for a while. Kasuga continued to vacuum. The work didn't stop there; after vacuuming, he would move on to dusting, and by the time that was finished, it would be time to begin preparing for dinner. "Kasuga!" Again, he failed to hear the call. Naka raised his voice. "Hey, Kasuga!" His older brother shut off the vacuum. "Yes?" "You seen Ayumi or Ranma around anywhere? I thought they were supposed to have been home half an hour ago." Kasuga took the opportunity to rest. "Didn't they tell you? They went to meet Ranma's friends at the movies. They came home long enough to change clothes and then went out again." thought Naka. He hadn't thought to see if either Ayumi or Ranma's school uniforms were in their rooms - Ranma's, especially; she usually kept hers on a clotheshanger near her door - just the owners of those uniforms. "In this weather?" he pointed out, glancing in the direction of the open door leading to the garden. It was raining. "Hmm..." Kasuga appeared concerned. "I hadn't noticed that. I do hope Ranma's okay." "Why? What was she wearing?" "They left before I could see." There had been talk about buying Ranma some articles of boys' clothing for her convenience when she was transformed... a few shirts and jeans, so that she wouldn't have to be stuck wearing the wrong type of clothing. But she always refused, not only because she hated the idea, but because she *wanted* to be inconvenienced. Ranma wanted to insure that her curse would always remind her of how much she wanted to get rid of it. Destiny's Wish Part Seventeen: Another Rival Joins the Fray written by Mike Koos -------------------------------------- "This WOULD have to happen while we were out!" Ranma clutched his jacket tightly shut, as if believing that keeping it buttoned up wasn't enough. He - or rather, she - had left the house in jeans, a faded yellow blouse and sneakers. He reasoned that as long as he kept his jacket closed, it wouldn't be easy for anyone to tell what type of clothing he was wearing. The rain had come without warning. Sure, the skies had been overcast nearly all day... but there hadn't been many clouds at all. Ranma was beginning to believe rain clouds actually followed her wherever she went. Ayumi, Sayuri and Yuka gave her looks of disbelief. "Shh!" Yuka insisted. "We're in the theater now, so you don't have to worry! Everyone's watching the movie!" She paused. "So why don't you open your jacket? C'mon, relax! Besides, I don't think you wanna suffocate P-chan." Oops! Ranma had forgotten that she'd hid P-chan in the inner pocket of her jacket in order to smuggle her pet pig into the movie theater. *Why* she wanted to bring P-chan along with her to the movies was a reason Ayumi didn't understand. Such fuss over a stupid little pig... Ranma pulled P-chan out from his jacket pocket and held the little pig high enough so that she could see the movie screen. "Honestly!" Sayuri made a face. "You spoil that pig too much!" "So?" "I said, *shh*!" repeated Yuka. "I'm trying to watch the movie!" Each of them had wanted to see this particular movie - for differing reasons. It was the first feature film for an animated series that mixed unequal portions of comedy, martial-arts fighting and teen-age romance, among a select group of unique characters. One of the main characters, a girl with short red hair, stunned an opponent by rapidly punching him several hundred times in the gut in less than a minute. "Look at that," Ayumi whispered. "That's impossible! No one can *really* do a move like that!" "I wouldn't be so sure." Ranma kept his eyes on the screen. Sayuri let out an exasperated sigh. "Who said it's all supposed to be realistic?" "If you want realism, what are you doing here?" Yuka added. At that precise instant the building shook. While everyone wondered if there was, in fact, a minor tremor taking place, a girl walked through the screen and into the theater. This particular feat would have been more remarkable to everyone in the hall had she not torn her way through several thick brick walls and a thirty foot high movie screen to do so. The girl was of Chinese descent, roughly Ranma's age and height. Her long hair, which was black with an odd hint of purple and went down past her waistline, was partially drawn up into small balls of hair at the sides of her head. She wore her own version of a battle outfit - a long sleeved, thin shirt, held tightly to her with the help of a chest protector, pants of similar material, and two mace-like *bonbori* as her weapons of choice. She noticed Ranma in the midst of the crowd seated in the dark hall. "Ranma!" Her face brightened into a smile. Ayumi glanced Ranma's way in time to see the boy gulp a mouthful of popcorn unchewed. "*Shampoo*!?" "Shampoo?" the others asked in perfect, if somewhat confused unison. Shampoo leapt over rows of chairs - and the people in them - to get to Ranma. "Husband!" she nearly gushed. "Wh-what are *you* doing here?" asked Ranma, as the girl wrapped her arms around him... nearly flattening P-chan in the process. Yuka and Sayuri were horrified. Ranma hadn't used her curse to seduce another girl, had she? Ranma squirmed out of Shampoo's embrace, leaping closer to the wall at the end of the row. "Geez, why'd you have t'come here?" "Husband!" she chased after him. There was a large curtain attached to the wall behind Ranma. He reached up, yanked the curtain down, and threw it over Shampoo's head. Shampoo wasted little time in using her bonbori to free herself from the abrupt curtain call. "Husband!" she repeated. But Ranma had disappeared. By now most of the people in the theater were stampeding through the exit at the rear of the hall. Confused, Shampoo looked in every direction she could to find her missing love. "Uhh..." She noticed Ayumi was walking over to her. "Ranma went that way," he pointed to the Shampoo-made doorway in the wall. Shampoo grit her teeth. "Husband no get away! No more hide! I find him *now*!" She ran through the hole in the direction Ayumi had given her. Ayumi waited nearly a minute to make sure Shampoo didn't return. "Ranma? You can come out now." The girl-turned-boy peeked his head up from behind a chair three rows back from the row they had been seated in. "She's gone?" "Yeah. Now would you *please* tell us what just happened?" Ayumi narrowed his eyes. "Well, if you've got another iinazuke, I'll be glad to step out of the way..." "I'll just *bet* you would." Why not? Ranma certainly was never happy about the arrangement. Ranma made his way over to stand near Sayuri and Yuka. "But she's *not* engaged to me. She only thinks she is." "Okay, so why does she *think* you're her husband?" Yuka handed her a suspicious glance. Ranma was their friend... but if she had done something unspeakable... Ranma slumped into a chair. "It's like this. See, Jhusenkyou wasn't the last stop on our tour of China. After we left there, our guide took us through this strange village..." Genma and Ranma's Chinese guide had waited patiently for the day it had taken for both his charges to work out their anger toward each other. After all, they *had* paid in full for a tour... Both the man and his daughter had fallen in the cursed pools of the legendary training ground, Jhusenkyou, and he felt he was to blame for that. They had obviously wanted to train at Jhusenkyou, though no one said he *had* to take the pair there. Neither of them spoke Chinese or knew much about Jhusenkyou... he could have easily taken them to a different training ground, where they could train to their hearts' content and never know the peril they had avoided, for they hadn't known about the 'Jhusenkyou curse' until they, too, suffered from it. But he hadn't wanted to be dishonest with his customers. These two had paid the price - doubly so. Neither had slept or eaten much, choosing instead to chase each other around Jhusenkyou and the surrounding areas. They were weary now, and hungry, trudging slowly behind the guide as he led them over the well-worn dirt road. The guide essentially had nothing to eat at his small shack - a would-be meal turned out to be another girl suffering from a Jhusenkyou curse. Wherever she had gone was anyone's guess. He had hoped to ask one of the inhabitants of the villages they would pass through in the tour for a meal for him and his charges. Genma and Ranma hadn't changed from their cursed forms for some reason, even when the guide had offered to provide hot water. It was hot, and surely the man wouldn't want to endure the heat as a furred panda for long. Perhaps the first stop on their tour would change the daughter's mind... the villagers there tended to be wary of males. They were passing through the outskirts of the village now; the guide heard Ranma's stomach growl and complaint that he was hungry. A lot like a boy, this girl. She must have learned it from her father. "We approach village Nyuuchezuu," he said, hoping to take Ranma's mind away from his hunger. "Nyuuchezuu," the boy muttered. "So what's the big deal about this place?" "The women in this village have great strength! We are lucky, indeed - this time of year, daughters hold great contest to determine strongest!" Ranma turned his head toward the sound of a commotion in the village square. There, atop a giant log suspended four feet from the ground by strong ropes, were the final participants of the contest. This year's champion-to-be - a girl named 'Shampoo' - bravely stood her ground, fending off the attacks of an older woman almost three times her size. The older woman had stepped into the ring to pit the spiked metal mace she wielded against Shampoo's bonbori. Shampoo's skill showed through, however, as she deflected each of the woman's strikes with a bit of effort. Finally, Shampoo decided to stop toying with her opponent and used one of the bonbori to throw her out of the ring. The woman screamed; the crowd applauded. Genma, Ranma and their guide had taken seats on the sidelines to watch. "Girl who win make big name for herself in village," the guide took a puff from his faithful old smoking pipe. Apparently, his charges had found some food to eat, because they were gorging themselves. "She's strong, I'll give her that," Ranma said through mouthfuls of meat-filled bread. The guide stared at him in horror. Unconcerned, Genma and Ranma moved on to other selections of food. They sat at a table loaded down with food, as if for a grand feast. A sign leaning against the table read 'Contest Prize' in Chinese, for anyone who cared to read it. "Sirs... why do you eat this food?" The guide's question took Ranma completely by surprise. They hadn't *really* thought about whether or not they should be eating the food, had they? Ranma had merely followed her father's example... A bonbori crashed down upon the bench Ranma had been seated on. Ranma leapt upward to avoid it, then alighted on the weapon. Shampoo leveled her other bonbori at the strange boy. "'You outsiders, boy and panda! How dare you eat my prize!'" the guide translated Shampoo's words for Ranma's benefit. "What do you mean, 'prize?'" "'This annual fighting contest,'" Shampoo said through the guide. "'I am declared champion today.'" Ranma tightened the belt of his training gi. He still hadn't become used to the thickness of this new waist. "So maybe if I fight you and win, there's nothing to worry about?" The guide, in turn, translated Ranma's words for Shampoo. Shampoo snorted and cracked her knuckles; this was going to be a very short fight... Short, indeed. Believing that no outsider, much less a boy, would be strong enough to truly face her, Shampoo allowed the outsider what she thought to be a fair handicap: she would refrain from keeping her guard raised until later in the fight. No fighter had yet managed to reach past her bonbori to land a blow on her, anyway. But Ranma was more prepared for this fight than Shampoo assumed; and because Ranma was actually a girl suffering from a curse that left her trapped in a boy's body, she didn't consider herself a 'gentleman.' She had no reservations about fighting a skilled female opponent, even as a boy. When the bell rang to sound the beginning of the fight, Ranma advanced to within his opponent's striking range... then, he waited for her to make the first move. She did - a predictable swing of one of her bonbori. Ranma ducked back, crouching. Once Shampoo withdrew her weapon, he lunged in and swung his foot straight up to tag Shampoo in the chin. The force of Ranma's kick, coupled with Shampoo's surprise, sent the champion reeling from the log. Her bonbori clattered to the ground beneath them. Shampoo's thoughts blurred before she hit the ground. It... it wasn't possible! She, the newly-declared village champion, had easily been defeated by a single outsider... a *boy*! According to village rule, there was now only one thing she could do - congratulate the winner. The Saotome family's guide, however, was far from pleased. His young *female* charge had just landed herself in far more trouble than she understood... The village referee held Ranma's arm up with a hint of reluctance to show that the boy was the winner of the fight. Unaware of what he had *truly* done, Ranma let out a nervous laugh. All around him, the crowd was whispering in a language he couldn't understand. *Something* was going on. Still recovering from her defeat, Shampoo veered over to him and, throwing her arms around his neck, drew him close to kiss him on the lips. "Uo ai nii..." The crowd was shocked. Ranma pulled himself free. But before he could say anything or wonder *why* this girl had just kissed him on the lips, the guide took him by the wrist and began to run from the village square. "It time to go, sir!" "W-what?" Ranma stammered. "Why? And what was THAT all about?" "You not know what you do! Village of Nyuuchezuu are very proud. Live by strict code. When defeated by male, is vowed to marry male, no matter what! She chase you now. Everywhere! To make you husband!" "But I'm a *girl*!" "You fall in Nan-nii-chuan. Cursed to become boy." Ranma scowled. "Yeah, I remember. Don't remind me." From that point on, Ranma and Genma barely had a moment's rest for the remainder of their stay in China. As their guide had warned, Shampoo pursued them everywhere they went with the intent of making Ranma her husband - an easy task, considering Ranma had had to lug around a mooching, lazy heavyweight panda of a father. They were able to avoid Shampoo from time to time by finding a source of hot water and changing back to their true forms, but it seemed that cold water was far more easier to stumble upon. Eventually, they managed to 'lose' Shampoo for good - or so they thought - and hurriedly made their way back to Japan. "So, it's all a very big misunderstanding?" asked Yuka. Ranma nodded. "Un. She just won't give up! I thought I was safe when we left China - but now, she's *here*... I have no idea what I can do about it." She made a quick scan of the theater floor to find P-chan. Fortunately, P-chan had the good sense to remain close to her 'owner' - this time. "I think I understand how you feel," Sayuri soothed, as Ranma took P-chan into her arms. Yuka agreed. "Oh, please," snorted Ayumi. "She obviously brought this on herself! If she hadn't *eaten* that food or let her tomboy pride get her into that fight, she wouldn't *have* that poor, misled girl thinking she's her wife!" The cursed girl didn't respond. Instead, he simply wound up and delivered a right cross to Ayumi's face to send him sprawling into the rows of seats. "Ayumi no *baka*." ** ** ** Twenty minutes later, Ayumi and Ranma walked on the street above one of the deep storm drains running parallel to the road. The management of the theater wouldn't refund anyone's money for the unfinished movie, but Ayumi *had* convinced them to give him a large cup of hot water for Ranma at the very least. Ranma made an attempt to reassure herself. "Well," Ayumi spoke for the first time since leaving the theater. "Now that Shampoo's here in Japan, what're you going to do?" "I don't know." "What, you don't think she's cute? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad being her husband..." Ranma stopped to glare at him - glare type number one, where she'd be angry at him for saying something incredibly stupid. There were so many different reasons for Ranma to glare at him, and he had yet to catalog them all... "In case you haven't noticed, *moron*, I'm a girl! I don't look at other girls that way!" Ayumi breathed a small sigh of relief that Ranma's friends had taken a different route home. That left P-chan as the only other girl around, though the Lost Girl didn't by any means count in this argument. "Yeah? So what are you gonna do about her? You're not on the road anymore. You can't keep running from her forever." Although she was loath to admit it, Ayumi did have a point. "I'll think of something!" she snapped. "Right now, I just want to get this day over with. 'Sides, I need to give P-chan a bath." Ayumi inhaled to keep from breaking out in laughter. He finally bit out two words: "A bath!?" "Uh-huh." Ranma lifted P-chan closer to her eyes. "For some reason, she always disappears every time I'm about to give her a bath. This time I'm gonna keep an eye on her." "Oh, is widdle P-chan going to get a hot bath?" Ayumi gleefully tickled P-chan's snout with a finger. P-chan, of course, bit the finger that prodded her. For now, Ranma didn't yell at him. She had other thoughts present to preoccupy her mind. Nothing a good bath and few hours' sleep wouldn't fix. Shampoo was waiting for them when they entered the house through the door to the family room. Kasuga was serving a round of tea, and Shampoo sat at the table sipping from her cup. A rather uncomfortable-looking panda, meanwhile, sat half-buried under the family room table. Ranma nearly collapsed in disbelief, while Ayumi's eyes widened past their accustomed limits. P-chan took the opportunity to hop out of Ranma's arms and quickly made her way out of the room. "Ranma-chan," Kasuga said in his usual brightness, "this young lady has come to see you. She came home with your father." Ranma furiously yanked the panda out from under the table by the loose skin around his neck. "WHAT IN THE *WORLD* WERE YOU THINKING, DAD!?" [I couldn't help it! She forced me to bring her here!] "Yeah, right! You really expect me to believe that?" Shampoo let her eyes track around the room, eventually coming to rest on Ranma. "Ranma?" she asked with hope. This Ranma *did* wear the same clothes her intended had worn when she last found him... but there was something strangely different about this Ranma... Ranma withdrew as Shampoo approached her, peering closely at her features. "Niihao," she greeted Ranma. "Ni-niihao," echoed Ranma. She waved a nervous hand in front of her as if to fend Shampoo off. If Shampoo had figured out the truth about her, there really would be nowhere left to hide! The girl from China took a closer look at Ranma's chest. She peered down the front of the other girl's blouse. "You... real girl?" "That's right! No boy here! So you can go home now, Shampoo!" Ranma blurted out. "How girl know Shampoo name?" Ranma's features paled. "I... um... er......" "Guess she's never met the *real* Ranma yet," another female voice remarked. Ranma turned to see Hibiki Ryomi looking over her shoulder. Ryomi appeared to have just come from a hot bath, a towel slung over one shoulder and the usual tub of bathtime soaps and shampoos in hand. Exactly *why* her rival always seemed to stop off for a quick bath in the Tendo's bath room before making an appearance, Ranma wasn't sure... but Naka was always arguing that Ryomi should be charged for the use of the bath. After all, the water bill had become quite expensive with Ranma and Genma around. "This is none of your business, Ryomi!" growled Ranma. Ryomi drew a bucket of cold water for Ranma to see. "I'm making it my business! Shampoo's come all the way from China to find her true love, and you would deny her that?" Before she could throw her bucket of water at Ranma, however, Shampoo leveled her bonbori at Ryomi. "How *you* know Shampoo name?" All these people somehow knew her, and she didn't know any of them! "How you all know Shampoo?" she demanded in a louder voice. Shampoo's eyes found Ayumi. "You! You know boy Ranma! Where you hide?" Ayumi backed away. Knowing Shampoo, she wasn't going to give up easily... and she'd come to blows if they didn't produce the male Ranma anytime soon. Sure, Ryomi wouldn't mind, but there was no way he would leave Ranma to that fate. "I told you, he's gone! He ran away!" "No. Not run! Shampoo not find signs! You hide... so you give Ranma now!!" "Ranma isn't mine to give." "You no choice. You know Ranma! Must give, *now*!!" Shampoo raised her bonbori. Yes, she was preparing to use them, all right... "I am NOT a possession!" Ranma yelled. "I'm not going to let ANY of you say who does or doesn't get me!" Shampoo frowned. "No one ask loudmouth girl." "Who are you calling a loudmouth?" "Shampoo call loudmouth girl loudmouth. Loudmouth girl not hear?" "I heard," Ranma scowled. "Then loudmouth girl be silent. Want Ranma-husband, not you." Ayumi knew that any moment now Ranma's temper would blow up in her face. Then she'd really be in for it. "I know exactly what you want, and you're not getting him!" she declared. Her hands instinctively clenched into fists. Shampoo readied her bonbori for attack. "Girl keep Shampoo from Ranma-husband? Then loudmouth girl *die*!" She swung her bonbori, tearing a wide horizontal gash in the thin door leading to the garden. Ranma ducked under the swing. Ayumi came between them and kicked the foremost bonbori out of Shampoo's hands. "You are NOT going to kill anybody!" The bonbori crashed down upon Shampoo's head. She collapsed among the debris of the door. "Dear me," Kasuga murmured. Ayumi stared at Shampoo in numb shock. So, too, did Ryomi. "You... you defeated her!? That means..." "I didn't mean to!" Kasuga smiled. "Don't be modest, Ayumi. Sure, you meant to do it! You were only defending your iinazuke." He had been doing that, hadn't he? And now Ryomi was glaring at him, the way Ranma usually did... "But... but... but now..." Ranma understood. "Now she's going to want to marry Ayumi, too!" Ayumi, who didn't have a Jhusenkyou curse to hide behind... Shampoo's eyes fluttered open. She pulled herself shakily to her feet. she thought. As Ranma and Ryomi watched, horrified, Shampoo took Ayumi into her embrace and kissed him on the lips. "Uo ai nii......" The blood rushed to Ayumi's face. He'd really done it this time! Here he was, locked in a kiss with another girl yet again, and doing nothing to stop it. Now, who would be the first to yell at him? Ranma was the first to react. She grabbed one of the bonbori from where they rested on the floor and flung it at Ayumi. The weapon found his head; he toppled to the floor. Shampoo's eyebrows furrowed as she glared at Ranma. Ranma glared right back. An unspoken anger passed between them. The next thing anyone knew, Soun was striding into the room. "What is the meaning of this disturbance?" "Umm..." Kasuga paused. "I believe one of Ranma's friends from China dropped by, and now Ayumi's hitting on her!" It took a few seconds for Soun to visualize Kasuga's rendition of the story. "Hitting on... her?" "It's not true!" Ayumi insisted, righting himself. The heavy bonbori fell to the floor with a sharp thud. Ryomi looked at him with scorn. "How could you, Ayumi-san?" How could he what? "I didn't do anything!" "No kidding!" Ranma spat disgustedly, turning away. "You just sat there and LET her kiss you! I bet you enjoyed it, right?" "*Ranma*!!" Ayumi said lamely. Great. One girl mad at him, another behaving weird and a third standing behind him acting as if she wanted to kiss him again, and now his Dad was probably going to explode thanks to Kasuga. First things first. He turned on his heels to confront Ranma. "Ranma, you--" She assumed an offensive stance, fists at the ready. "Nani yo?" They traded stares for a moment. "Forget it. I don't care what you think," Ayumi walked away. "Everyone's always lookin' at me like I've done something wrong..." Shampoo latched onto him again. "Haven't you?" asked Soun. Ranma shook with anger. "Fine! In that case, you and I are through... FOREVER!" She stormed out of the room. "Ranma-chan!" Kasuga called after her. But it was no use; she wouldn't come back. "Well, well." For his next trick, Soun took a puff from a lit cigarette. He made his physical appearance turn large and imposing, blowing smoke through his nostrils for effect. It worked rather well. "Explain yourself, Ayumi!" "T-this isn't my fault! I swear! It's all a big misunderstanding!" Shampoo called Soun's attention to a small book she held in her hand. "Hmm..." Soun took the book and studied it. He made an attempt to read the Kanji on the cover... yet failed. Trying to read Chinese by concept-reading the Kanji did not always work. "C'mon, read it!" prodded Ayumi. "Be quiet!" his father replied. "Don't you know I *can't* read Chinese?" Tears flowed like two small tributaries from his eyes. Ayumi sighed... the old man lapsed into this routine far too easily. They were all seated at the table, Shampoo included, but there was still room for Naka to join them. "Rules of the Joketsuzoku Village," he read, after snatching the manual away from his father. "Oh, you're back," Kasuga greeted him. Naka continued to read. "Should a fighter happen to be defeated by a female outsider, she must purge her shame by marking the outsider with the 'Kiss of Death' and seeing personally to the outsider's death. But - and here's the good part - should a fighter happen to be defeated by a male outsider, she must be wed to the outsider to bring further strength to the village." Kasuga was shocked by the implications of the rules they had just heard. Unconcerned, Shampoo merely hung from Ayumi's side, grinning ear-to-ear. The village rules could not be questioned. "S-stop talking nonsense!" Ayumi brought his fist down on the family room table. Naka closed the rule book. "Ayumi, in all the years you've known me, have I ever lied to you?" "I keep a list." "Forget I asked. This is no joke, kid. I just told you what the rule book says. If you don't believe me, read it for yourself!" Ayumi made a face. "Oh, like I'm really skilled enough to read Chinese like you are!" "I'm not *that* skilled." Naka held the pages of the book open for all to see. "See? All I did was read the translation on the side. Didn't anyone notice it was there?" "Ayumi no... BAKA!!" Behind the dojo, Ranma had put together a practice dummy made up to look as much like Ayumi as possible. The boy didn't have any truly distinguishing features that would stand out in her mock-Ayumi, so she found one of Ayumi's old sports jerseys to give the dummy a personal touch. She swept her foot back and forth across the dummy's face, her angry yell growing louder with each kick. "Ayumi no *baka*!" "Ayumi no *baka*!" "BakabakabakaBAKA!" Her final kick was forceful enough to tear the dummy from the post she'd mounted it on. "*BAKA*------!" She stopped to catch her breath. Venting her anger on a fake Ayumi wasn't nearly enough to rid her of all the anger she felt toward the real Ayumi. Still, it was a start. "I guess it's better than nothing," Ranma sighed, wiping the perspiration from her brow. "This whole iinazuke business was our fathers' idea. Not ours," she muttered to herself. "Sheesh, we don't even care for one another..." A memory popped into her mind: Ayumi, blocking Sanzenin Mikado's path to her. <"In case you don't know, Ranma happens to be my *iinazuke*! You so much as *touch* her and I'll kill you!"> Ranma came to a stop. Ayumi had said those very words aloud, in a skating rink full of witnesses. He wouldn't have done that unless... Unless... She dashed to where her mock-Ayumi dummy had landed and picked it up, carefully brushing the dust from the straw figure. Then she heard the voices. "Don't you get it, Shampoo? Those rules of yours are kinda dumb! Kill any girl who defeats you, marry any man who defeats you... are those the kind of rules you want to live by?" Shampoo listened intently to each word Ayumi spoke. She didn't understand every word, but she had to show her adoration for her intended. Ranma peered around the corner of the dojo. Ayumi was there, perched on the roof of the birdhouse, while Shampoo leaned against the birdhouse platform, which was only four feet from the ground. Ranma thought. "See, Ranma?" Surprised, she glanced up to see Naka and Kasuga standing behind her. "Kasuga... Naka..." "This is all just a big misunderstanding. You really should forgive Ayumi..." Kasuga offered. "...Because - well, let's face it - Ayumi does NOT know how to behave around a girl," Naka finished the thought. Ranma took that particular fact into consideration. No, Ayumi didn't know how to properly treat a girl. Any girl. She turned her intention back to the scene around the corner. "Do you understand what I'm saying, Shampoo?" She still couldn't, for the most part. She nodded, and gleefully leaped up to Ayumi's perch to take his face into her hands. "Uo da airen..." Naka flipped a few pages in his Chinese-to-Japanese dictionary. "Translation: 'beloved husband.'" The thought saw the return of Ranma's temper. "Didn't you hear me!?" the youngest Tendo boy raised his voice. "I don't have any feelings for you, so there's *no* point in getting married!" Shampoo brought her face closer to his, her soft brown eyes almost pleading... "Uo ai nii." "I... I said... that..." Everyone could see how Ayumi's resolve was faltering. The beating of his heart almost kept all other sounds from making their way through his ears. He began to teeter under the extra weight Shampoo added. "S-so-so just because a rule says you have to get married, then..." Naka found what he was searching for, holding his translation dictionary open on the back of Ranma's head. "Uo ai nii: that translates to 'I love you.' More or less." "I *know* what it means, thank you," Ranma hissed. By this time Ayumi had lost control over everything... including his brain. "It would be a lot better if we got better acquainted first..." Ranma couldn't believe what she was hearing. Neither could Kasuga. "Dear me. And he was doing so well..." Naka smirked. "Interesting turn of events, wouldn't you say, Ranma?" But she had little chance to answer, for Genma the panda ran up to Ayumi and batted him away with a large sign to separate him from Shampoo. [Why do you let your mouth run like that?] "*Airen*!" Shampoo cried. Her beloved had been taken from her... Ayumi lay against the roof of his house and watched the sunset. A rock skimmed into the top of his head. "Don't you ever keep your guard up?" He knew who the voice belonged to. "Ryomi." The girl sat on the crest of the roof, resting her arms on her knees. "What do *you* want?" "How could you do it, Ayumi-san?" "Do what?" asked, perplexed. "Don't play innocent! You know *exactly* what you did! Don't you know not to play wth a girl's emotions?" Ayumi frowned. "What business is all this of yours? You're not the one Shampoo's after!" At that, Ryomi shook her head and tossed an even bigger rock at him to knock the boy off the roof. "You still don't get it, do you?" Ayumi was far too involved in yelling at Ryomi on his way to the ground to notice Ranma walking toward him. She had heard voices coming from outside the dojo and come to investigate. "You mean Ranma? Hey, I can't help it if she gets jealous easily! The girl in question waited for him to land and gave him a tap on the shoulder. He started in terror once she saw her. "Why would I be jealous?" she asked, sweetly. "We're through, remember? So if you wanna get married to Shampoo, GO RIGHT AHEAD!!" Ranma punctuated her declaration by slapping him as hard as she could, then walking away. Ayumi felt a touch of regret wash over him on seeing her leave. "Ra-Ranma-san..." Adding '-san' to Ranma's name to appeal to her sense of fair play was a desperate tactic... even if it hardly ever worked. "Airen!" he heard a voice squeal delightedly behind him. Oh, terrific - he'd forgotten *she* would be out looking for him. Just great... the last thing he needed this night was to have to fend off Shampoo's advances! He began to run toward the garden. "Wait!" Shampoo followed. "New husband no run away!" Soun watched the scene with disgust. "If this is how they treat each other now, what will happen when they become acquainted?" "I don't want to know," replied Naka. A few feet away, Genma - in panda form - tried not to watch Shampoo chase Ayumi across the property walls. That was a reminder to Naka - how was Ranma taking this? The old man probably felt that *Ranma* should be the one chasing lovesick after Ayumi... Upstairs, in her room, Ranma continued to work off her anger with a pair of exercise dumbbells. "Ayumi no *baka*." The little pig seated near her on the floor nodded in complete agreement. ------------ Credits: Written by: Mike Koos Prereaders: Richard Beaubien, Tom Williams, David Wills With apologies to Rumiko Takahashi... Yes, I'm aware I probably wrote much of the Chinese in this story the wrong way. I'll be the first to admit I don't really know anything of the language, and all I did was convert it directly from the versions in the original manga. I *used* to know someone who knows Mandarin, but I lost contact with him. So, if you're out there reading this, Paul... ^_^ All parts of this series are available at the RAAC archives at ftp://ftp.cs.ubc.ca/pub/archive/anime-fan-works or from my WWW pages at http://www.fanfic.net/~makoto/ Comments and questions welcome. * Mike ('Kino Makoto') Koos: makoto@cal.net * http://www.fanfic.net/~makoto * * "I can do nothing to stop you. Your background music is too strong * for me." - Sam Johnson, Whose Line is it Anyway?