The scene: a large auditorium. The stage is - for all intents and purposes - dark. Footlights cut through the near-darkness to align themselves on the podium at center-stage. As the crowd murmurs excitedly, Drew walks out onto the stage and takes his place at the podium. He organizes his notes. Drew: (clears throat) As you all know, there were only eight videos released in the 'Bubblegum Crisis' series. The series then took a different path with the 'Bubblegum Crash!' videos. Drew: So, along similar lines, we'll be changing the name of Bubblegum Splash! slightly, making some major unecessary alterations to the plotlines, changing the voice of one of our main characters and adding a few minutes of pointless computer animation to the beginning of each story. We thank you for your continued support. Drew realizes someone's trying to get his attention by tapping him on the shoulder. He turns around to see... Mike: Ahem. At that very instant, Dave runs onto the stage, being chased by Kaori, who's wielding one of her trademarked mallets. Mike takes the mallet out of Kaori's hands. Mike: Mind if I borrow this for a bit? Thanks. Mike hits Drew over the head with the mallet, hands it back to Kaori and drags Drew off-stage. David and Kaori stare for a second at the audience, then each other, and start running after each other once again. The auditorium lights go completely dark. There is a moment of dead silence, broken by a loud commotion backstage. Drew turns the lights on and strides angrily back onstage. But before he can say anything, the lights switch off again. Drew: All right, WHO did that!? Nabiki suddenly appears next to him with a flashlight lit below her chin. Nabiki: *I* did. Drew: (narrowing his eyes) Why? Nabiki: (Waves a utility bill in front of Drew's face.) You haven't paid your electric bill. Drew: You aren't getting any money out of me, Nabiki. We use our own generator here. Nabiki: (Turns to leave.) I know. The room is plunged into complete and total utter darkness. Drew: (impatiently) Oh, shut up and start the video, already!! - - - - - - - - - - - - - Bubblegum Splash! 9 Triple Vision written by Mike Koos ----------------------- Moose angrily hangs his phone up. Moose: Those fools! Genom aerospace parts are the finest parts in the world and they have the GALL to insist on using a different contractor? Moose: I've tried to... convince them politely... [Minor flashback: Moose attempting again and again to pass himself off as a factory worker in order to replace "lower quality" parts with Genom-made parts. The problem? He had never brought his glasses; if he had, he might have discovered he was working in a cat food factory.] Moose: ...so now I'll have to be rude. * * * * Launch day. On the grounds of the MegaTokyo Aerospace Facility, security was airtight. For Genom officials, unofficially notorious for getting their way one way or the other, had tried to buy into the shuttle mission. The MTAF officials had declined, hoping to pull this one off without the possibility of anyone taking over the project for his or her personal gain. But this was Genom, not an industrial terrorist or opportunist. They, too, never took no for an answer - especially in private - and the unverified tales that had found their way to the desks of the MTAF were enough to make the MTAF dearly afraid. The MTAF was trying to establish a space station outside the orbit of the Earth and the Moon. Its primary use was to serve as a relay station, bouncing messages intended for colonies or outposts set up on the other planets of the Solar System. Humankind still had yet to go beyond its own planetary system, but they were intent on getting to that point, no matter how long it took. Every part of the launch schedule proceeded exactly as planned, making the MTAF all the more nervous. It wasn't until the shuttle was in orbit and the crew had unstrapped themselves from their confinement that they discovered the boomers hiding in the cargo hold. * * * * At the Silky Doll... Ryoga: But, Akane-san... why would I need to go to England? You need me more right here! Akane: I'm not letting my brother pass up an opportunity to attend one of the world's finest schools. Don't worry; we can manage without you. Ryoga: I don't care! I'm not going. I want to stay here. Ranma: (From a chair in the hall.) Y'know, we could solve this by feeding him some of your cooking... when he passes out, put him on the plane. Ryoga opens his mouth to yell at her, but Akane is faster - she frisbees a handy frying pan into Ranma's face. Ranma falls over backward. Akane: (To Ryoga.) Are you serious about staying here? I don't want you to ruin your life because of us... Ryoga: I won't be ruining my life, just postponing it. You need me here. Akane: But this scholarship is a once-in-lifetime chance! Ryoga: No, it isn't. I know you're the one who put up the money for the 'scholarship.' Akane: Uh...... how did you know? Ryoga: Shampoo told me. Akane: What!? She did? Ryoga: Yes. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do... (He leaves.) Ranma pulls herself and her chair up, rubbing her temple with one hand, holding the frying pan with another. Ranma: Do you have to be so inconsiderate? Akane: Not now, Ranma! I've got someone- er, something else to take care of. (She dashes off.) Ranma: * * * * Shampoo, on the other hand, was busy taking a break at her station in the main AD Police building. She reclined back in her chair, feet propped up on the desk, watching the complete digitized and noncompressed version of the Sailor Moon R movie she had just installed on her terminal. Oh, sure, she could have watched it direct from videodisc just like everyone else, but there was something exciting about knowing that you were tying up valuable computer space for your own benefit. She took another sip from her soda bottle and laughed. She heard the footsteps of someone approaching and hurriedly shut down the video. However, it was only Ranran. Ranran: Shampoo, someone's here to see you. Shampoo: Who is it? Ranran: I don't know. He's waiting outside. It's strange; I feel like I've met him someplace before, but I can't place him. She shows the young man in and leaves to take care of her own work. Shampoo: (clearly surprised) ......Ranma? Ranma: (nonchalantly) Hi. Shampoo: Wh-... why... what...? Ranma: My fans've been getting a little crazy lately, so I thought I'd go out this way. It's been a long while. Shampoo: ...... (stares at Ranma) Ranma: And now, I've started to wish again that Dad wasn't having us hide this way... 'course, it does make us a little bit of money, if oyaji doesn't get to it first... Shampoo: .............. Shampoo: (sudden burst of emotion) Damn it, Ranma! Just when I thought I'd gotten over having to live with you as a girl only, you... you... Ranma: Hey, you think it's easy for ME to live with? Or Akane? Or Ukyou? Every time I go up on stage I wonder what the press would say if they found out that the lead singer of Ranma and The Counterparts was actually a GUY... [Flashback: Genma explaining his latest plan to earn money to Ranma - pass Ranma off as an idol singer. Becoming an idol singer at the time was viewed as an easy way for a young woman to make money, and Genma had wasted no time in promoting his new singing sensation.] [The only thing was, he hadn't told Ranma about it.] Ranma: (notably upset) Why do you ALWAYS do these things to me, Dad!? You want me to be an IDOL SINGER? That would mean I'd have to spend a lot of time as a girl... Genma: Hmm... That's right. I've already had your records changed, my daughter... Ranma: (Furious.) **WHAT!?!?** You want me to stay as a girl PERMANENTLY!? Whatever happened to having your SON carry on the family tradition and honor as a martial artist!? Genma: No one said that you had to give that up. But you must be well aware that the path of a martial artist may lead him - or *her* - down many different paths in life. You will face many challenges that-- Ranma: (Interrupting.) Oh, shut up! This is all just an elaborate excuse for you to get money without really doing any work! Genma: I beg your pardon; I am your manager. Ranma: Like I said - lots of money, no work. Genma: And I am still your father. As long as that holds true, you will do as I say. Ranma: What about the marriage to that kawaiku-... er, Akane? Surely you can't be suggesting that I marry her this way... Genma: The marriage will be put on hold for now. Besides, medical science is amazing! They've already developed ways to keep people alive and young for years... why, I bet they're even working on a process that will allow me to regain my hair. Ranma: Ranma: All right, let's get one thing straight. You may have tried to arrange everything so that I don't have a choice, but I am **NOT** going to be an *idol* singer! Understand? A regular singer, maybe, but *NOT* an idol! Genma: Ranma, you-- Ranma: No. End of discussion. Either you let me do things MY way, or I'm going straight to Mom and telling her everything you've done. Genma dumps a bucket of water on Ranma's head and lets the bucket stay on her head as the water soaks through her clothes. Genma: (Sighs.) They always said musicians were tough to work with. He pulls out an idol singer's dress. Genma: (Offering the dress to Ranma.) Here, you'd better get out of those wet clothes. You can use this... Less than a moment later, there is an extremely wet and upset panda wearing an idol singer's dress in the room with Ranma. She turns away indignantly, tugs her shirt into position and leaves. [Fade back to the present.] Ranma: (Muttering to himself.) Baka oyaji... He realizes Shampoo has latched herself onto him. Ranma: Cut it out, Shampoo! There's no time for this! Akane found out you told Ryoga about the scholarship... Shampoo: (Releases Ranma.) She did? Uh-oh, that means she's going to be on the warpath... Oh, thanks for the warning. You'd better get out of here before Kunou finds you here. Ranma: Oh, yeah! I completely forgot. Well, I've never had a problem when it comes to taking care of him. All of a sudden, Lieutenant David Wills enters the room and notices Ranma. David: Hey! Who are you? (Notices the way Shampoo's staring at Ranma and raises his voice.) You'd better not be trying to take advantage of Shampoo... Ranma and Shampoo both try to quiet him down with frantic hand-waving, but it's no use: the noise attracts Kunou, of all people. Kunou: SAOTOME RANMA! So, you have come out of hiding once again to cheat on the lovely Tendo Akane, I see! (Draws a wooden sword which no one saw him enter with.) I shall teach you the lesson that's been awaiting you all this time! Kunou leaps at Ranma, sword extended. Ranma flips onto Kunou's head and makes a dive for the hallway. He hits the floor running. Kunou: (Following Ranma.) Coward! Stand your ground and face me! Ranma: (Running.) Who's a coward!? I'm looking for a more open space to fight in! Kunou: (Running.) Hmmm... I see even cowards can have an intelligent thought once in a while. Ranma: (scowls) ...... Behind them, a sergeant pokes his head out from an office door. Sergeant: Hey! No running in the halls! As luck would have it, the AD Police training gym was at the end of the hallway. To the surprise of everyone trying to not work inside, Ranma bursts through the open double-doors with Kunou following him. Kunou: (Leaps at Ranma.) This will do! Take that! (sword swipe) Ranma easily dodges, and Kunou falls flat on his face. The crowd cheers... until Kunou bolts to his feet and takes a threatening step toward them, sword held high. Ranma: You never could take criticism. In response, Kunou begins a series of rapid sword thrusts. Ranma backs away slowly - and then simply disappears. Ranma: (From behind Kunou.) Or get the hint. He tags Kunou's chin with a roundhouse kick, sending him flying across the gym to imbed himself head-first within the punching bag. Kunou: (muffled voice) That didn't hurt. Ranma's expression darkens; Kunou had a bad habit of always being extremely predictable. The ADP officer pulls himself out of the bag and starts after Ranma once more. Unfortunately, David chose that exact moment to arrive on the scene with Shampoo. He points a flare gun at the ceiling and fires it in an attempt to stop the fight. David: There! Now that I've got your attention... Chunks of plaster fall on his and Shampoo's heads. Shampoo gives him a look of disgust. Shampoo: Thanks so very much. She has something else to thank him for an instant later: David's flare has set off the automatic sprinkler system. Everyone tries to find cover to avoid getting soaked, and David nearly trips over a cat that has suddenly appeared next to him. David: Shampoo? Where did you - huh? A cat? David: (Picks up the cat.) Where did you come from? Neko-Shampoo: Meow... (She rakes his face several times with a set of claws.) Meanwhile, Ranma has turned back into a girl - directly in front of Kunou's eyes. Kunou: (rubbing his eyes) Can it be? Is this a lovely vision I see before me? Ranma: (frowns) Kunou latches onto Ranma. Tears stream from his eyes - or was it just the water? Kunou: Oh, my dear pony-tailed girl, what a pleasure it is to have you here tonight... Ranma: (Place-kicking Kunou through the gym's ceiling.) **BAKA**, let go!! Ranma strides toward the door, the no-nonsense look in her eyes telling everyone else they'd better steer clear. She reaches the door to find David standing there, holding... holding... David: Hey, Ranma! Look at what I've found! It's a-- Ranma: (screaming) ******A CAT******!!!!!! The cat clasps its arms around Ranma's neck, and hangs on for dear life as Ranma tears into the hallways at top speed. David: What the.........? * * * * After a few minutes of breaking through what looked to Shampoo like every other office in the building, Shampoo finds herself losing her grip on Ranma. She falls, rolling to a stop and landing upside down against a sickly blue-colored wall. She'd always hated those walls; if someone were ever to put her in charge of redecorating the building, she knew a color scheme she'd prefer more... She didn't have time to think about it. Someone picks her up, rather abruptly, by the scruff of the neck. Akane: (Innocently, in a singsong tone of voice.) Shampoo-chan! Shampoo: (nervously) ........Meow? Akane: Did you think you could hide from me with the old 'cat routine?' Shampoo: (indignantly) Mreow!! She starts trying to bring her claws around to bear on Akane, yet Akane's hold keeps her from doing so. She only succeeds in flailing about uselessly. Shampoo: (Rising temper.) ...Meow... Akane rearranges her hold on Shampoo so that she's holding the cat as she would any other cat. Akane: Later. Ranma's probably already told you that I found out you told Ryoga about the scholarship. But that isn't why I'm here. Shampoo: (puzzled) Mrr? Akane: C'mon, let's go find you some hot water. We've got a job offer! Akane: And then, maybe you can tell me where Ranma's run off to... * * * * The stage was set. The screens at MTAF Control were lit up with the face of the unknown terrorist now in control of the new shuttle. His demand: the equivalent of fifty million dollars for the return of the shuttle. Most of the gear aboard the shuttle was irreplaceable, and he knew that... it was a chance the officials of the MTAF knew they should not have taken in light of the possible Genom threat. Somehow, they all had the feeling Genom had everything to do with the taking of their shuttle. * * * * Not too long after that, at the Knight Sabers' headquarters... Ranma: No! Absolutely not! I won't do it! Akane: I haven't even told you what the job is, yet. Nabiki: Yeah. Besides, there's always the chance those agency guys'll pay us two hundred times what the job's worth. This- Akane: (cutting Nabiki's remark short) *Oneechan*! Ranma: C'mon, Akane, anything but a government contract! You know that! Every time we get one of those... Nabiki: What are you so worried about? I've worked for the government most of my life. Ranma: (sullen glare) You were an intelligence agent. That's a completely different thing. Nabiki: What do you have against the government, anyway? Akane: (to Nabiki) It's a long story... and we have no time for it. (She turns to Ranma.) Look, Ranma, I know how you feel about the government, their agencies, and their contracts, but we're taking this job. They're paying us well and we need the money! Ranma: (turning away) Well, I don't care. Akane: (wheeling Ranma about) You do now. You're coming with us! Ranma: Hmph! Don't *I* ever get a say in what I do? Akane: The Knight Sabers are a team effort. Not a democracy. (She starts to walk off.) Ranma: (yelling, loud enough for Akane to hear) Che, I don't know who's worse - Dad, or you! * * * * MegaTokyo Aerospace Facility Control Center, 9:03 P.M. The Knight Sabers arrive to find the Center in a well-practiced turmoil, none of which was helped by the appearance of five heavily armored women. A young male secretary, obviously intimidated, approaches Akane. Secretary: (nervously) Lieutenant Colonel Morinaka is waiting for you in his office. Nabiki: How long has he been waiting? Secretary: A good ninety-three minutes, I believe. Nabiki: (Smiles, but it's hidden by her visor.) Good. Ranma: So he'll be in a big rush to get this over with, too? Akane gives Ranma a glare Ranma could feel through her visor. Ranma: Ranma shrugs, locking her hands behind her head nonchalantly. Ranma: Always keep them waiting. It's better that way. * * * * Lieutenant Colonel Morinaka was drumming his fingers anxiously upon an unused, two-years-out-of-date large desk calendar lying on his desk as the Knight Sabers let themselves in. Morinaka: You're late. Don't you know how being late affects the way you look, professionally? I ought to reduce your fee as a penalty... Ranma: Go right ahead. If you don't really need us, there are plenty of things we'd rather be doing. So saying, she starts for the door, making sure the sound of her gauntlet coming in contact with the old metal doorknob is heard in the dead silence. The other Sabers turn to leave as well. Morinaka stares uncomfortably at the Sabers' retreating backs. Morinaka: (stands, slamming palms onto the desk) Wait! Morinaka: (looking to the floor) You win. We need your help, and there's no one else we can call. Nabiki: (Privately, to Ranma) Guess I don't need to teach you how to deal with government and military officials. Ranma: (privately) Nope. Morinaka settles into his chair. Morinaka: The situation is this: our newest shuttle mission has been hijacked by a mysterious individual who is demanding a ransom of about fifty million dollars in US currency for the return of the shuttle. Most of the equipment on that ship is irreplaceable, and that terrorist knows it. Morinaka: We suspect it may be the work of someone at Genom. Ukyou: Why? Morinaka: We refused to let them buy into the mission. Ukyou: That'll do it. Akane: (nods) Genom always gives people good reason to be suspicious. I'll bet they were planning to make sure they had a presence in the space colonies of the future, and you've upset that timetable just a bit. Morinaka: Yes. So, can we count on you? Akane: (privately) What do you think, minna? The Knight Sabers - including Ranma - grudgingly agree. Akane: (privately, to Ranma) Good. I was hoping you'd agree. Akane: Okay. We'll take the job. Now, tell us how you expect to get us up to that shuttle. Morinaka: (smirks) You don't have a ship of your own? Akane: We're woking on it. But nothing that can take us into orbit. Akane: ...*Yet*. Morinaka leaves his desk and heads for the door. Morinaka: Follow me. He leads the Knight Sabers along a catwalk overlooking the large Control Room. Morinaka: As you probably know, we don't design our spacecraft with offensive capabilities in mind. Nabiki: Let me guess. They've managed to arm the shuttle. Morinaka: (surprised) How did you know? Nabiki: Standard bad guy procedure. Try reading a book or watching TV sometime. Morinaka: Whatever. Have any of you had flight training? Nabiki: (Casually raises a hand.) I have. I'm a certified pilot. Nabiki: And don't bother asking to see my license, either. Ranma: You're a pilot? Nabiki: Yep. Morinaka: (to Nabiki) We'll need to run you through an impromptu course on piloting a shuttle. Just the basics; you're on your own if it comes down to evasive manuevering. Nabiki: Great. Morinaka: In a worst-case scenario, you can link the shuttle's systems to ours and we can pilot the shuttle from here. But bear in mind we only have rudimentary control, so it's not an option in sensitive situations. Ranma: Morinaka: We'll be sending all of you up in another shuttle to intercept and board the first shuttle. Our crews will attempt to override the first shuttle's computer systems so that they won't see you coming. Shampoo: Computer hacking, eh? Now, you're talking! I think I'll stay down here and see what I can do to help. Akane: (pauses) I'd better stay and coordinate our efforts from here, too. She looks at Shampoo, who's already eyeing the Center's computers. Shampoo: Not bad... but I've got a few suggestions on how to improve these things, if you've got the time... Akane: (motions toward Shampoo) And keep an eye on *her*. * * * * ...And so, less than two hours later, a nearly identical shuttle was being braced against the launch gantry in preparation for its mission. Nabiki secured herself into the seventeen-strap pilot's chair and tried to move something - *anything* - in order to look back at Ranma and Ukyou to see if they had the same problem. Nabiki: Everything secure back there? Ranma: I hate these seats. Nabiki: I'll take that as a 'yes.' Ukyou? Ukyou: I... think so. I wish these things came with instructions... Ranma: The seat belts? Ukyou: No, the air freshener hanging from the rear-view mirror! What do you think? Ranma: Sorry. Ukyou: (Realizes her mistake.) Oops. I'm the one who should apologize, Ran-chan. Nabiki resets her position in the already-despised chair and flips a third row of switches on the communications console. Nabiki: (monotone) Shuttle Two to ground crew - is everything ready down there? Shampoo: (over shuttle radio) Just about. I've almost got access to Shuttle One's systems. I can guarantee you relatively safe passage, but once you get within visual range... Ukyou: If that's the case, why don't you take over their guidance systems instead? Pilot their shuttle down and save everyone a lot of trouble. Ranma: (privately) What, and throw away our chance at getting paid? Akane: (over shuttle radio) It's too risky. They'd notice it in a second, and then we'd lose our chance. Then we'd have to bring them in the hard way. Ranma: (In a low voice, pretending to crack her metal knuckles) I kind of prefer the hard way. Ukyou: (To Akane.) Why not? Morinaka: (over shuttle radio) Our shuttle systems weren't designed with these circumstances in mind. It isn't like shuttle hijackings are commonplace, you know. Morinaka: I'm not paying the five of you to sit here and *talk*. We have no time left - we need to see this through, now! Morinaka: Remember, we can't afford to lose that shuttle you're in, either, so take care of it. (He signs off.) Ukyou: Couldn't you have at least given us a backup crew up here? Ranma: (Closes her eyes and inhales sharply.) Would *you* send a bunch of inexperienced techs into space with us? We're obviously far more expendable than this tin can we're in... Nabiki: (Tries once more to look back.) She's right, you know. 'Insure the vehicle but not those in it.' Ukyou: What kind of lunatic decision is that? Nabiki: A business decision. * * * * Aboard the original shuttle, a tall robed figure stands before the cockpit windows, overshadowed by the sight of the Universe before him. On either side of him stand two boomers who look for all the world as if they have nothing better to do. Man: (laughs) You know, if this were a story of some sort, they'd have me revealing who I actually am or what my 'diabolical plan' is at this very moment. How those fools down on Earth are playing games, refusing to admit to themselves that they know what's REALLY going on. Man: And how the Knight Sabers wouldn't dare come because they would never get within range of our ship without us blowing them right out of the sky - what's left of it out here. Man: (laughs again) No, that's not going to happen! To hell with drama, because there's only one thing I truly want, and who said I had to tell anyone what that thing is? Man: He gazes out the viewport a few seconds longer before turning away. Man: (To the boomers.) Now, has anyone seen my glasses? * * * * Voice: Five......... Four......... Ukyou grit her teeth in anticipation of the launch. Voice: Three......... Two......... Nabiki tightened her grip on the shuttle's controls. Voice: One. Blast-off! The shuttle's jet's flare, lifting the awkward metal bird into the sky. Shampoo and Akane watch from the supposed safety of the Control Room and each wishes her friends a silent good-luck. Morinaka: (softly) Another successful launch. (To Shampoo.) Are you sure the terrorists won't detect the shuttle launch or approach? Shampoo: (pauses) I can't be sure. They can still detect us in other ways. But so long as they depend on the computers, they won't see our people coming. Akane's eyes fix on the image of the first shuttle as though she sensed something sight alone didn't reveal. Akane: Aboard Shuttle Two, Nabiki let the auto-pilot take over for the dangerous part of the trip: clearing Earth's atmosphere. She loosened enough of her seat's straps to allow her to remove the helmet from her hardsuit. Akane had reassured them all that the suits would provide them with all they needed to survive out in the Universe. Still, Nabiki wished she'd brought along a few oxygen tanks to be on the safe side. She breathes a sigh of relief - and the shuttle's reprocessed air. Nabiki: There! Now that we're underway and maintaining radio silence, we don't have to worry about anyone seeing us with our helmets or visors off. Ukyou: (sarcastically) Oh, yeah. Some relief THAT is after that lousy launch. If it weren't for these seat belts I think I'd find out what it's like to be batted around with my own spatula... Ukyou: You know, you really oughta take more lessons. (She removes her helmet so that Nabiki can see her grin.) Nabiki: (Drawing her words out.) Oh, really? Ukyou: What d'you think, Ranma? Ranma: ............ Ukyou: Ranma? Ranma: ............ Ukyou: (Frees a hand to knock lightly on Ranma's hardsuit) You okay? You're sure bein' awful quiet in there... An all-too-familiar voice came fom the rear of the cabin, surprising Ukyou and Nabiki. Ranma: I always hate these kinds of flights. There's never anything good to eat. Ukyou looked between Ranma's hardsuit, still strapped fully secure into its chair, and Ranma herself, in shock. Ranma, for her part, simply stood there toying with a chip of astronaut ice cream. Ukyou: How the hell did you do that? And here I thought Shampoo being able to eat with her helmet visor locked down was bad enough... Ranma unbuckles the seat straps and pieces her hardsuit back on. Ranma: Oh. By the way, Nabiki, that was a pathetic launch. Nabiki: It isn't like I've had practice. Why don't we see how YOU do on the way back? Ukyou: No! Not on your life! If she pilots a shuttle like she rides a motorcycle, we're all in BIG trouble!!! Ukyou: (To Ranma, before Ranma has a chance to reply) And just how were you getting around back there before the artificial gravity kicked in? Ranma: I'm used to moving around on ceilings, remember? Ukyou: Hmph. Nabiki lets a quick feline smile show and turns back to the controls. It was time to set the second part of the plan in motion. Some time later, she manuevered the shuttle as close as she could into position within the first shuttle's blind spot. Nabiki: (To Ukyou and Ranma.) Okay, you two - get into position. We should be close enough for you to get to that bay before Shampoo blows the doors without having to resort to those portable manuevering jets they gave us... I hope. Prepare to see if my little sister actually knows what she's talking about... She opened their bay doors, and Ranma and Ukyou kick-launched themselves out into space. * * * * Shampoo watched the monitor display closely, hoping to time her move right. She intended to open the bay doors on Shuttle 1 just before Ranma and Ukyou launched into them, giving her two teammates a chance to make it through the doors before someone could close them again. Akane: Shampoo, aren't you going to-- Shampoo: Not yet! Akane's apprehension grew as the two Knight Sabers drew closer to the bay doors. Finally, Shampoo saw her chance. Shampoo: Now! She jammed a finger down on one key - taking care not to let her armor pierce a hole in the delicate hardware. There'd be hell to pay if she damaged any of the MTAF hardware... Far above, the bay doors opened. Ranma and Ukyou shot in without a lapse in movement, and the doors clammed shut behind them. * * * * Moose sat in one of the pilot's chairs aboard Shuttle 1, feet propped up and crossed over the main control panel. He took pleasure in humming a fragment of 'Ja Ja Umani Sasenaide.' Boomer: Sir! We've detected the presence of two of the Knight Sabers in the cargo hold! Moose: Of course you-- WHAT!? How did they get on board? Boomer: We believe they found a way to activate the bay doors and enter through them, sir. Moose: So you decided that rather than take care of them, you would come and inform me? Boomer: (confused) Sir? Moose: (sighs) Why do we spend millions installing artificial intelligence units if this is the thanks we get? Boomer: Um, ah... Moose: Do I actually have to TELL you what to do, now? Get your tail out there and take care of the Knight Sabers! Boomer: As you wish. The embarrassed boomer quietly bows out of the cockpit area, sliding doors hissing shut behind him. * * * * The shuttle bay was completely dark. Ranma and Ukyou allowed their visors to automatically default to infrared mode. Ranma: How much you wanna bet they're waiting somewhere around here for us? Ukyou: No bet. I owe too much money to Nabiki already. Ranma: Serves you right. Ukyou: Don't preach to me about gambling until you can cure Nabiki of the habit. Ranma: ...... Ranma frowned upon noting that her enhanced audio pickups were picking up the clicks of her metal feet magnetically grabbing and releasing the floor. If *she* could hear the noise, so could everyone else... She told her systems to reset the magnets to the lowest level she could use without floating away. That lowered the sound somewhat, but not by too much. Ranma turned her attention back to the light controls. Ukyou: (interrupting) Uh, Ranma...? I think we'd better forget about the light switch for the moment. Ranma turns slowly about; several Boomer-shaped smudges appeared in a wide arc within the range of her scan, surrounding them. Just what she needed... Ranma: Oh, well, we knew this would happen sooner or later... Ukyou shrugs. Unfortunately, that turned out to be the move that spurred the Boomers to attack. Ranma and Ukyou began their counterattack in earnest. Four Boomers, then a fifth, fell before anyone even knew what was happening. [Nabiki: For all of you who are reading this, this is the section [ where our illustrious writer thought he could get away with [ being a little bit lazy and not describe the fight in full [ detail. However, if you'd like to know what actually [ happened, send me 530 yen and I'll send you the full [ details. Act now; this is a one-time offer... and all that [ jazz. For more details, call-- [ [Mike: Nabiki? You want to tell me what you're doing? [ [Nabiki: What do you *think* I'm doing? [ [Mike: This is an anime fanfic. You - *we* aren't supposed to be [ making any money from it. [ [Nabiki: Why not? Considering all the unflattering scenes you wrote [ for me in this story... (She smiles.) Maybe this story [ would've been better if Drew had written the whole thing. [(She leaves the room, as Mike frowns.) Ukyou: Only two more to go! Ranma: You're actually keeping score? Ukyou: This hasn't exactly been an exciting fight. Ranma: Okay, how about this? Ranma leaps high into the air, landing neatly upon one of the Boomers' heads. Ukyou had to laugh - Ranma was casually standing there as if she belonged there. Boomer: Hey! Get down from there! Ukyou: (unimpressed) That's nothing. Ranma: I'm not finished. The next part of Ranma's plans involved turning up the magnetism on her feet a few levels. All of a sudden, the Boomer found its precious memories fading away... Boomer: No! Don't! Stop that! You'll-- (slurs, just before dropping dead to the floor) Ukyou: I've gotta admit, that's a new one on me. Ranma: I'm still not done. Ranma boosted her magnetism level to maximum long enough to crush the Boomer between her feet and the floor like an aluminum soda can. Seeing this, Ukyou applauds. Ranma: (Picks up the Boomer with one hand.) I wonder what recycling bin you put THESE in... The final Boomer leapt from behind a wall of secured shuttle modules at the two Knight Sabers. Boomer2: You'll pay for your foolishness! Of course, leaping 'into the air' in outer space to attack one's opponents probably wasn't a very good idea. Especially if one's opponent happened to be standing near the manual control for the shuttle's bay doors. Acting on instinct, Ukyou slammed her palm onto the large red button. At what might have been the height of its jump, the Boomer found itself drifting freely out into space. It made a series of frantic grabs for the edge of one of the bay doors as it passed. Ranma: Hurry up and close that thing! You're letting all the air out! Ukyou ignored Ranma's wisecrack and hit the button again. Meanwhile, the Boomer had finally caught hold of the door's edge... only to lose its hand a moment later when the doors closed tightly upon it. It drifted toward the cockpit area before it caught hold of the shuttle again with its good hand. Moose: (seeing this take place on the cockpit monitors) What the...? The Boomer forcefully pulled itself along the side of the shuttle back toward the bay, taking several key external shuttle systems with it as it did so. Moose noticed this in the cockpit as things began turning dim, indicators flashed red and alarms sounded... Only then did one of his monitors show an image of Nabiki's shuttle, long enough for him to see her pick the errant Boomer off Shuttle 1 with her shuttle's laser systems. That monitor, too, faded to black. Moose: Blast those Knight Sabers! ...How the heck do you turn off these stupid alarms? I can't see a thing with the red glow in here... About to open the hatch leading out of the landing bay, Ranma and Ukyou feel the ship lurch violently. Nabiki's voice broke radio silence. Nabiki: (radio) Whatever you two did, the shuttle's falling out of orbit. Shampoo tells me you're losing power and falling back to Earth. Ranma: You think that Boomer we let out had something to do with it? Nabiki: Maybe. Or maybe whoever's in the cockpit has decided to return the shuttle the hard way. The hatch hisses open. Ukyou: Got the door! Ranma: Right! Let's see who our hijacker really is! They manage to make it to the cockpit without any further events, having destroyed all of the hijacker's Boomer crew in the shuttle bay. [Nabiki: 'Conveniently destroyed,' you mean. What a ripoff. [ [Mike: Shh! Moose: (wheeling about) Ah, the Knight Sabers. I've been waiting for you... Ukyou and Ranma sourly note that Moose was once again looking in the wrong direction. Ukyou: We're over here, you twit! Ranma: (making a quick scan of the ship's control panels) And I doubt the only thing you've been doing is waiting for us. Not when this ship's going down in a ball of flames. She put up a temporary scan of the surrounding airspace in a corner of her visor's viewscreen. Nabiki's shuttle was trailing theirs, almost out of the range of Ranma's scans. Moose: I... um, I meant for things to happen this way! (He adopts a firm stance in between the controls and the Knight Sabers.) Since my demands were not met, I'm sending their shuttle back! Let them try to pick their precious cargo out of all the pieces... Ranma: And you too, I suppose. Moose's words die in his throat. Ukyou runs a quick scan of the entire ship. Ukyou: I don't see any way for you to leave this party. For starters, all the escape pods are dead. Noose: ......... Ranma: Unless we can land this thing, you're gonna wind up dying right here along with us. Moose appears to think about the situation for a moment. Moose: (eyes disappearing behind the light refelecting from his glasses) Not if I eliminate the two of you beforehand! Moose attacks, charging forward and launching a series of chains from each sleeve. At the end of each chain was a spiked ball, which Moose took to swinging about in an effort to tie up and batter the Knight Sabers at the same time. Ukyou whipped up one of her laser ribbons to slice through the ends of three of the chains. Feeling confident, Ranma grasped one of the chains with the intent of swinging Moose by the end of his own chain, rather than the other way around... and the memory of Moose using *her* as a human yo-yo still lingering in her mind. (* See Bubblegum Splash! 7.) She hadn't counted on a scrambler being secured to the end of the chain she caught. All anyone could see from the outside was the energy crackling around and through Ranma's hardsuit, Ranma's armored form tightening up as her hardsuit's mechanical joints 'reflexively' contracted. Ukyou: (privately) Ranma!! Nabiki: (privately) What's going on over there? Before Ukyou could make a move to help Ranma, Moose brought another round of chains her way. Ukyou ducks under the chains, flinging a handful of her small spatulas upward to sever these chains as well. She briefly recalled what Shampoo had originally said about Moose, and filed the information away for later use. Inside Ranma's hardsuit, the Knight Saber struggled against her own systems to remain operational. With an unsurprising burst of strength, she resumed her grip on the chain and gave it a strong yank. She found that Moose had let go of the chain. With no place for her momentum to go, she fell backward against the bulkhead. Fortunately, the impact knocked the scrambler away from her suit. She strained to stand upright while catching her breath. Ranma: Damn it, you fool, we've got no time for this! We're going down and this is all you can think of doing? Moose: Why not? It's fun! He launches another set of weapons on chains straight toward her, but Ranma ducked under them, rushed toward Moose and gave him her best blow square in the gut. Moose doubles over and collapses to the floor. Ranma: (catching her breath) Geez, you think that all those chains he carries in there would've given him SOME protection... Ukyou: (nervously looking over the control panels) Never mind that! We're about to hit the atmosphere and I don't know if this thing can make it! Ranma: We're going to try. She takes a seat in the pilot's chair. Ukyou: What do you think you're doing!? Ranma: The way I see it, we're going to have to bring this can down manually, and our pilot's already got her hands full. You got any flight experience? Ukyou: Me? No. You? Ranma: (takes the flight controls) I've spent some time in the simulators at the arcade... Ukyou: (Makes a gesture of defeat.) Guess that'll have to do, then. Ranma: Okay. Get on the radio to Nabiki and Shampoo and find out what we've got to do. * * * * Morinaka: They're *WHAT*!? Shampoo: (ignoring Morinaka) They're coming down on manual control. A lot of the systems are damaged and they don't have a clue as to what to do. Morinaka: (clasps hand over eyes) I knew I should've sent up someone qualified... Akane: (trying to sound confident) Don't worry, they'll make it. I've got a good feeling about this. Shampoo: (privately) You make a lousy cheerleader, Akane. Morinaka: (to Shampoo) I thought you had control over the shuttle! Shampoo: I *did*, until their systems went haywire. Or so they say. I've only got minimal control at the moment. It's mostly in their hands, now. Na-- our pilot is trying to talk them down. * * * * Nabiki: Nabiki appreciated the fact that the Knight Sabers' hardsuit technology gave her the ability to see Ranma's controls from the other's point of view, in addition to where they were headed. Chalk up another point for Akane. [Nabiki: Akane couldn't put together a machine to save her life. [ [Mike: What's with the running commentary? Are you trying to turn [ this into an episode of 'Mystery Science Theater 3000?' (He [ tries a faint grin.) Our readers are going to get annoyed... [ [Nabiki: Then try writing something that makes sense. Under Nabiki's distant supervision, Ukyou had already managed to find the controls for the heat shields and activate them, thanking the stars that the system wasn't damaged. Ranma dared not take a look back at Ukyou - had she done that, she might have had an idea how worried Ukyou truly was. A hard jolt signalled that they had entered Earth's upper atmosphere. Ukyou glanced at what she could see of Ranma behind the chair and wondered what was running through the other's mind. Nabiki watched Shuttle 1 shudder under the pressure and switched her communicator line open. What the heck, might as well reassure the crew by letting them know she had a similar problem. Why in the world was she being so giving to Ranma? Nabiki: (sighs) Ranma's ship began to veer away. Nabiki: (straining) Ranma? You're losing it. See if you can pull back alongside my shuttle. Ranma: Okay. Shuttle 1 shook for half a moment, then pulled into position. Nabiki: We'd better start pulling up. I don't think we want to land like overgrown lawn darts... Ranma: (sarcastically) Gee, thanks for the wonderful imagery. Going to include our crash and burn in your next song? Nabiki: Suit yourself. Just remember that I'm helping you down *for free*. You know what a loss I'm taking here? Ukyou: Why do I get the feeling you'd charge a drowning victim for help? Akane: Oneechan, did I hear that correctly? You're *CHARGING* Ranma for assistance? Whose side are you on, anyway? Nabiki: No. I'm not charging her, or anyone else. Of course I wouldn't ask for money when someone's life is in danger-- Nabiki: <--but if Ranma dies, I'll have to find someone else to blackmail.> Both shuttles reach the inner atmosphere layer after what seemed like a maddening eternity. Shampoo: You're both coming along fine; on approach to MTAF landing zone number three. I'm going to relay the landing approach we want you to use to your computers, and I hope you receive it. A small screen to the left of Ukyou's hand read, 'Transmission Complete.' Ukyou: Got it! Ranma: Can you stick it on one of these screens up here so I can see it? Ukyou: I'll try. But remember, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. Nabiki: Don't worry about it. I'm going to manuever out in front. Just match me move for move and follow my directions to the letter. With Nabiki's help, Ranma brought the shuttle down gradually to that part of the sky normally commanded by airplanes. What neither Ukyou nor Ranma saw, however, was that Moose had stirred. He took in all that was taking place and decided to make his move. Bolting to his feet, he opened the cockpit's outer door and depressurized the cockpit. Moose: (laughing) So long, fools! (He leaps out the door.) Ukyou: He's escaping! Nabiki: Never mind him! Close that door! Ukyou strains against the windstorm and pulls the door shut with every last bit of strength she and her suit possessed. Nabiki: Whew! We're too high up for that guy to survive a fall like that, anyway. Ranma: (Regains control.) He'll probably survive. Nabiki: Willing to bet on that? Ukyou: Nabiki! Nabiki: Sorry, force of habit. Nabiki: We're going to try to land now. Are you sure you can make it? Ranma: I hope so. Ukyou? Ukyou: I don't know. Shampoo: You'd better hope so! I can't see anything wrong with your shuttle that would prevent you from making a landing. Morinaka: (suddenly remembering something) What about the cargo? Is the cargo okay? Ranma: (publically) Yeah, it's all here. If anything's damaged, send Genom the bill. Akane: (to Morinaka) Speaking of bills... Morinaka: Hm? Akane: ...there's the little matter of our fee. Would you mind stepping over here to discuss it with me? Morinaka: Your people are risking their lives at this very moment, and you want to discuss money? What if they don't make it? Akane: Then I'll be very upset. But this still has to be done. Shampoo: Ranma? I think you're close enough for me to try taking control over your shuttle's systems again from here. Want me to try? Ranma: Of course! What, you think we've ever landed a space shuttle before? Our training never covered this... Ukyou: Either one of you lands this ship, or *I'm* going to try! Do you two want THAT on your conscience? Nabiki: I thought you weren't willing to find out how good Ranma was at piloting shuttles? Ukyou: Did I have a choice? Ranma: I gave you a chance. Ukyou: Yeah, well... I'd hate to think of how you'd deal with malfunctioning computer equipment even more. Nabiki: Oooh, I hadn't thought about that. Shampoo: Activating ground control... *now*. Shuttle 1 rocked and pitched slightly again, then leveled off. Shampoo: I've got it! Ranma, you and Ukyou can sit back and relax now. Ukyou: And leave the flying to you? Shampoo: No. The MTAF crew's doing that. I'm no pilot. Nabiki: Maybe not, but I am. (public) Ground crew, you wanna give me the landing arrangements, now? The MTAF crew realizes its oversight in mid-celebration and sends Nabiki her instructions. Both shuttles touch down effortlessly. [Nabiki: That's it? No description of my superior piloting skills? [ [Mike: Why? You don't know how to fly a plane in real life. [ (snorts) You usually hire someone to do it for you. *Drew* [ could fly a plane better than you. [ [Nabiki: Maybe. But I pay the hired help better. [ [Mike: Akane: Now, about that compensation... Morinaka: All right, you'll get the fee we agreed on. Will you stop badgering me? Meanwhile, crews have arrived to help Nabiki, Ranma and Ukyou out of their shuttles and inspect the damage. Nabiki: Good job, little sister. But you need a little more training in business tactics. Ranma: I think she did okay. For an unskilled tomboy, that is. Akane: WHAT!? Ranma: (ignoring Akane) Anyone who can squeeze a dime out of an agency like the MTAF deserves all the praise they can get. Akane: ...Ranma... Akane: (Snaps her mind back to the matter at hand.) We did it as a team. Don't forget that. You three handled the shuttles, Shampoo organized the computers-- Ukyou: --And you stood around and did nothing but tell everyone what to do. Akane: (trying to maintain her temper) Button it, Ukyou. Remember who's got your share of the money. One of the clean-up crew turns to Ranma. Crewer: You were the one that flew this ship down, right? Ranma: Yeah, I guess so. Why? Crewer: The auto-pilot systems are still fully operational. Why didn't you use them? Ukyou: (Notably upset.) You mean to tell us we had a chance to avoid all that trouble and you **DIDN'T TAKE IT**!??!? Ranma: (Calmly.) You were the one manning the systems. You tell me. Ukyou: ............... Nabiki: So ends another chapter in the story of the Knight Sabers. [Nabiki: Good riddance. ---------------------------------- CREDITS: (in semi-alphabetical order) Concept: -------- Drew Hurlstone Mike Koos Special Guest Appearance by: ---------------------------- David Wills, Official Interdimensional Raving Hentai Lunatic Creative Consultants: --------------------- John Boomgarn Drew Hurlstone David Wills Pre-readers: ------------ Johnny Dentino David Wills Special Thanks: --------------- Richard Beaubien John Biles John Boomgarn Johnny Dentino Drew Hurlstone Thomas Kinnen Louis-Philippe Giroux Tom Williams David Wills The Home Crew (obligatory reference) Readers everywhere... Apologies to Rumiko Takahashi, Kenichi Sonoda and to anyone else whose characters or situations were referenced to or used here. If any BGS! story ever fell under the term 'cursed,' this one might be it. It's been pushed back a few times since about BGS 6, and tossed about our would-be 'offices.' ^_^ Other 'episodes' of Bubblegum Splash! are available for FTP from the rec.arts.anime.creative archive site, ftp.cs.ubc.ca, or from my WWW pages (address below). Comments, questions, suggestions? E-mail me at the addresses below. * Mike ('Kino Makoto') Koos: makoto@cal.net * http://www.fanfic.net/~makoto * * "I can do nothing to stop you. Your background music is too strong * for me." - Sam Johnson, Whose Line is it Anyway?