Bubblegum Splash! 3 Trouble Brewing (v2.0, May 23, 1995) Written by Mike Koos ------------------------------------ Somewhere in MegaTokyo, late one evening... Yuka: (whispering) I can't believe we let you talk us into this! They'll catch us for sure! Sayuri: (whispering) Not if you shut up and keep moving, they won't! Kinu: (whispering) How much farther? Sayuri: (whispering) We're almost there. Then we'll show them what we can or can't do! The whole compound springs to life. Alarms and the sounds of a full-scale search are heard. Voice: (over loudspeaker) Attention, all guards! Secure all exits! Be on the lookout for five of our experimental 3-3-S-type boomers. They are suspected to be somewhere on the grounds and may be attempting to escape. Ryoko: (snorts) *MAY* be!? She overpowers a guard and takes his gun. Sayuri: C'mon, let's go! They make their way alongside a wall to a garage and slip in under the door. What looks like a convertible with a cargo carrier attached to it sits alone at the near end. Ryoko leaps into the driver's seat. Ryoko: This is our ticket out of here. Michiko: *You're* driving!? I thought you didn't know how to drive! Ryoko: Another thing they never taught me. Well, no time like the present to learn. Sayuri: No you don't! I'm driving. (She changes places with Ryoko and starts the car.) There's no way I'm going to let them *or* you destroy our dream. To their wide-eyed surprise, a pair of *large* boomers break down the door behind them. Michiko: (to Ryoko) Well!? You're the one with the gun! Yuka: Yeah! Shoot them! Ryoko: (firing) As if it would do any good. If we were fighting hand-to-hand we might've had a chance. Kinu: I'm scared... Sayuri: Hang on! She races the car toward the far end of the garage. Executing a hair-raising u-turn that comes within an inch of the walls, Sayuri aims the car right back toward the boomers. Ryoko: You've GOT to be kidding! You won't be able to ram through them! Sayuri: We've got to try! Michiko: Oh, no...! True to her word Sayuri plows through the boomers... but only one of them. The car nearly overturns itself on the other, and Ryoko, Kinu and Michiko are thrown out. The hapless boomer Sayuri had run through collapses in on itself as Sayuri fights to regain control of the car. Yuka: (looking back) We've got to go back for them! Sayuri puts the car on a collision course with a section of the electrified fence. A line of guards has formed in between the car and the gate as if they thought they stood a chance of stopping the car. Sayuri was going to see to it that they didn't. Besides, with the remaining boomer trying to take off their tail, there was only one way left to go. Sayuri: We'll have to come back for them later. It's not going to do any of us any good if we're all captured now. Yuka: But... Sayuri: (pushing Yuka down in her seat) Get down! Sayuri regretted not being able to see the looks on the guards' faces as she broke through the line and the fence, showering electricity everywhere like a million Fourth-of-July sparklers. But they were free now - and she pressed the vehicle for all it was worth. Watching Sayuri and Yuka speed away, the second-in-command watched his guards pick themselves up from the where they had been knocked to by Sayuri's final run and wondered how he was going to explain all this. He turned to face the boomer, who was holding Kinu, Michiko and Ryoko tightly. Guard Captain: You never learn, do you? It's back to school for you. * * * * The next morning, Shampoo is called to the office of the Chief of the AD Police. An innocent-looking young girl is waiting just outside the door. Chief: That's Raichi, the Senator's daughter and a photojournalist for the MegaTokyo Daily News. She's doing a story on the AD Police, so I want you to show her around. Take her out on patrol. Chief: Let her see just how tough the daily routine of an AD Police officer really is. Shampoo: Me? But why do *I* have to play babysitter for the Senator's daughter? Chief: For one thing, you're still on official reprimand for hooking up a 'Clapper' to the ignition system of Kunou's patrol car. Or have you forgotten? Shampoo tried to keep from giggling. After all, it was the only time she'd seen Kunou get applause on and off the streets... Shampoo: No, sir. Chief: Good. Now go on; I expect you to have a busy day ahead of you. Shampoo leaves. Chief: (props his feet up on the desk) Ahh, now I won't have to escort that brat around myself. Shampoo: (to Raichi) Come on. Let's get this over with. Raichi: You sound excited. Shampoo: (disgustedly) Don't I? Kunou and Hikaru pass them. As usual, Hikaru is carrying Kunou's things for him. Shampoo: Where are you two going? Kunou: Genom lost one of their experimental mechs last night because of an incompetent fool at the Processing Center. Hikaru: Although there's probably a lot more to it than that. Kunou: (to Hikaru) Quiet! Shampoo: Say, you wouldn't happen to have an extra open seat in your car, would you? I'll bet Raichi here would love to tag along and... Kunou: Forget it. You cannot pass your problems on to me. You've done something wrong, and now you've got to face the consequences. Shampoo: Kunou: Oh, before I forget... Kunou takes a stack of paperwork from Hikaru's armload and presents them to Shampoo. Kunou: These need to be filled out and filed before the end of the shift today. Shampoo: (annoyed) What do I look like, your personal secretary? Kunou: Of course. Kunou and Hikaru leave. Shampoo seems about ready to rip the entire stack of papers in half with her bare hands. Shampoo: Damn it! He's ALWAYS making me do all his paperwork! Raichi: Thank goodness he's not my type. Shampoo: What? Raichi: (embarrassed) Oh. I didn't mean to say that out loud. Shampoo mentally shrugs and starts walking toward her office block. Shampoo: So, you're looking for a boyfriend, are you? Raichi: ...Yeah. But since I'm the daughter of a senator *and* a photojournalist, I'll probably meet someone exciting someday and he'll sweep me off my feet and we'll both live happily ever after. (sighs) I know my prince will come, someday. Shampoo: (nervously) Uh... yeah. Shampoo: Do you know how corny that sounded? Raichi: (shrugs) Hey, I didn't write it. [Editor's note: We'd like to apologize for any inconsistencies you might find. Our normal translator is on vacation and can't be reached.] * * * * Outside her trailer, Ranma is working on rebuilding part of her motorbike. Without knowing it she's slipped into humming her most popular - and perhaps most infamous song, "There's a Tidal Wave Tonight." Sayuri: That's a beautiful bike. Ranma: Huh...? She looks up, wiping the hair from her forehead - which only serves to coat it with more grease. Ranma: (standing) Oh... thanks. Ranma sizes up Sayuri. Her initial instinct is to be suspicious, but for the first time every part of her seemed to like and trust this person. Whoever she was. Sayuri: I'm sorry. Did I catch you at a bad moment? Ranma: (smiling) No, not really. A part of Ranma's mind wondered what in the world she was doing smiling while talking to a complete stranger. She wiped the oil and grease from her hands with a worn Vision T-shirt. Sayuri: I know you - you're Ranma! From the group 'Ranma and the Counterparts,' right? Ranma: (laughs) That's me. Sayuri: Wow, I never thought I'd meet someone like you. This is so great! Ranma normally classified this as standard fan talk. Yet for some reason she didn't quite want to end the conversation. Sayuri: I wouldn't mind being a singer, myself... Ranma: You do have a good voice. I could get you in touch with a few people if you want. Sayuri: That's okay. I have a dream I want to realize first. Ranma: I'm going to go inside and get something to drink. Can I get you anything? They enter the trailer. Sayuri: Do you know how to make tea? Ranma: No. I never really learned how. Sayuri: Then we've got something in common. Ranma: By the way, I didn't catch your name. Sayuri: Sayuri. It's Sayuri. * * * * Later that night two shadowy figures approach a diner and smash open the door. Silently they work their way through the entire building, two virtual tornadoes with intent. They leave with what they came for just as quickly as they came - just before the police pull into the parking lot. * * * * Half a week comes and passes, and Shampoo and Raichi take the opportunity to go to a cafe during Shampoo's lunch break. Shampoo: So, how did you like traffic duty? Raichi: *That* was traffic duty? All I got to do was sit around for two and a half hours and watch you eat more than your share of the food we brought! Shampoo: Sure, whatever you say. Shampoo notices something she'd never expected to see - Ranma, sitting at one of the tables, talking to someone - Sayuri. Shampoo makes the mistake of calling Ranma's name aloud. Shampoo: (waving) Hey, Ranma! As soon as Shampoo is close enough, Ranma pushes her into one of the booth's seats. Ranma: Shh! Thanks a lot. The LAST thing I need is for this to turn into a spectator event. Shampoo: What are you doing here? I never thought I'd see you in a place like this. Ranma: We're waiting for Akane. She wanted to meet Sayuri. Shampoo: (blinks) Sayuri? Ranma: Oh, all right. (gestures to Sayuri) Shampoo, this is Sayuri. Sayuri, (gestures to Shampoo) this is Shampoo. She works for the AD Police. Sayuri: (nervous, but making a commendable effort to keep it from showing) The AD Police? Shampoo: Pleased to meet you. Are you a friend of Ranma's? Ranma and Sayuri look at each other, then at Shampoo. Both say "yes" at about the same time. Both laugh. Shampoo looks at them as if trying to figure out who they were. Shampoo: (sudden realization) Oh, that's right! I'd like you two to meet Raichi, we're... Ranma: We've met. Shampoo: What? When? Ranma: At the Nekohanten club a few months back. She wouldn't stop trying to ask me for an interview, or a picture... Raichi: The press has rights too, y'know. Ranma: What about mine? Raichi: You're a celebrity. You gave up those rights when you... Ranma: Oh, THIS argument again? Why don't you ever go and harass someone else, like Vision? Raichi: Restraining order. Ranma: Lucky her. Look, I... Sayuri: (holding Ranma's arm) I'm sure she was just doing her job. Shampoo fully expected Ranma to start yelling, come to blows or something of the sort. So naturally it came as somewhat of a shock when Ranma calmed down and dropped the argument. Ranma: Okay. More so, to Raichi. Raichi: ...What!? Shampoo: (quietly, to Raichi) Shh! Shampoo: So, where's Ukyou? Ranma: She has a full load of classes today. 'Spatula Aerobics' is starting to catch on. Akane and Ryouga enter and join the group. Akane: (to Shampoo) I didn't expect to see you here. It's your lunch break, isn't it? Or are you just showing Raichi here the sights? Raichi: 'Akane?' I knew the name sounded familiar but I didn't think it would be THE Akane Tendo! (to Shampoo) Why didn't you tell me you knew such interesting people? Akane: It's nice to be known. Ryouga: Ranma shrugs. Akane: (taking a seat next to Sayuri) So, you must be Sayuri. Ranma's told me a lot about you. Sayuri: (glances at Ranma) Really? Akane: (laughs) No. But, that's Ranma for you. The 'strong, silent' type. Sayuri: I wouldn't say that. She's a good friend. Shampoo tosses the pair another narrow look of suspicion. So do Akane and Ryouga. Raichi, for her part, didn't care at all - she was preoccupied with watching a man at the other end of the cafe. Ranma: Sayuri's interested in starting up a restaurant or cafe of her own someday. Akane: Is that so? Sayuri: (blushes) Yes. Just something I and a few other people were thinking about. Akane: What's holding you back? Sayuri: This and that. You know. Little things. Like the fact that I never learned how to make tea. Kunou's police car drives by the cafe. Shampoo could tell this because of the steady sound of clapping following the car as it passes. Akane signals Ranma with a couple of facial gestures to distract Raichi. Ranma doesn't understand why, but she signals agreement. Ranma: (innocently) Oh, Raichi... As Raichi's attention snaps back to the present, Ranma takes the photojournalist's camera and tosses it out the open window. Raichi: (shocked) My camera! She dives for the camera and misses, ending up in an undignified position at Sayuri's feet. Grumbling, she picks herself up and makes a dash for the door. Akane smiles. If there was one thing she could count on, it was Ranma's diversions. Akane: (whispering, to Shampoo) Shampoo - I want you to run a check on Sayuri. Something's not right about her. Shampoo: (watching Sayuri, whispering) I don't know... but if you say so, okay. Shampoo: (stands) It's about time I got back to work, anyway. Raichi comes back to the table, turning her camera over and over in her hands looking for the slightest bit of damage. Raichi: If she broke my camera I'll... Shampoo: Forget it. It isn't worth it. Raichi: Easy for you to say. Shampoo looks at the camera and then at Sayuri. She takes the camera from Raichi's hands. Raichi: Hey! Shampoo: Mind if I borrow this for a moment? I want to take a couple pictures of my friends. Raichi: Film's expensive, you know. Shampoo: I could always let Ranma throw this out the window again... Raichi: All right! Go ahead and take your pictures. You're paying for the roll, though. Shampoo: Fine. (She raises the camera to her eye.) Everyone smile for the camera! Everyone smiles, even Ranma. Akane is the only one aware of what Shampoo actually wanted to take a picture of. Shampoo: Okay! We'll see you all later! C'mon, Raichi - let's go. I'll stop at the photo shop on the way and buy you a new roll of film. In the parking lot... Raichi: (pauses) Is there something you're not telling me? Shampoo: Why would you say that? Raichi: No reason. Excuse me. Raichi pushes ahead. Shampoo catches up to her. Shampoo: Hold it! You don't leave a question like that hanging. Raichi: You have the weirdest circle of friends I've ever seen. Either that... or the most *convenient*. I mean, all you need now is a stockbroker and a lawyer or two and you could have the makings of... Shampoo: We grew up together. ...Which wasn't entirely true. The Knight Sabers *had* known each other throughout many parts of their lives, but they had never really been a group until Akane brought them together. Raichi merely smiles. Shampoo: [Editor's note: Okay, we admit it. Our normal translator isn't really on vacation, just incredibly drunk.] Meanwhile... Ranma: What was all that about? Ryouga: Yeah! Sayuri: I wouldn't mind knowing, either. Akane: Search me. It probably had something to do with the plot. Ranma, Ryouga, Sayuri: ............ Akane: (to Sayuri) So, you mentioned you wanted to start a restaurant of your own? Who else do you have working with you? Sayuri: (absently) Right now, it's just me and Yuka. We had three others with us but they were... caught up in other problems. Akane: I've always thought of opening my own restaurant. If Akane had been paying closer attention, she might have heard Ryouga and Ranma gasp in shock. Sayuri: How are you at cooking? Akane: I wouldn't say I'm that great... Ranma: Akane: ...but so far, I haven't had any complaints. Ranma was seriously thinking about giving her a few complaints. Ranma: Akane's too busy these days to open her own restaurant. Akane was paying too much attention to Sayuri to notice how quickly Ranma had jumped in with that comment. Akane: I'm afraid she's right. I barely have time to cook a meal for my friends, let alone myself... and my brother. Ryouga breathes a sigh of relief, and this time, Akane notices it. Akane: What was that for? Ryouga: Oh, nothing. * * * * In the nights that follow, the same pair of mysterious shadowy figures strike again and again, each time with only a single purpose in mind. The police, who had yet to make any real progress on the case, always arrived one step behind the criminals and were beginning to feel like MegaTokyo's largest underpaid clean-up service. * * * * At AD Police Headquarters, Kunou was actually carrying his own paperwork for once - *and* doing it, much to Shampoo's relief. Raichi, who had practically become attached to Shampoo, was on the phone with her editor. Kunou: These crimes disgust me. There's strong evidence to support the claim that the criminals are boomers, and yet we AD Police stand around doing nothing! Shampoo paid him no attention and went on working at her terminal. Kunou: Shampoo, have you made any progress on the case yet? Shampoo: Does it *look* like I've made any progress? Shampoo: It all sounds strange to me. Somebody breaks into a bunch of places and all they take are things related to *tea*!? Kunou: (assuming a thoughtful pose) Yes... tea bags, tea kettles, recipes for tea... even everything associated with the tea ceremony. Kunou: It seems someone wants very badly to make tea. But why? Suddenly Shampoo remembers what Sayuri had said at the cafe. Sayuri: ...Like the fact that I never learned how to make tea. Shampoo: She tries to picture Sayuri breaking into a restaurant and trashing the place. Shampoo: Kunou: Well, keep trying. There's got to be something we've missed. And while you're at it, see if you can find any more information about the theft of that experimental mech Genom's being so secretive about. Kunou leaves to hunt down Hikaru. The phone rings. Shampoo: (answering) Hello... Oh, hi, Akane. No, I keep drawing a blank on Sayuri. I've run her picture through all the international intelligence databases and I keep drawing a blank. Nothing. It's as if she doesn't even exist. Shampoo: By the way, you might want to check into those weird tea burglaries. We've got evidence that suggests they might be boomer-related. Shampoo: Okay... Tell Ukyou I'm buying dinner tonight, if she isn't still upset over the bill from last time. Bye! Raichi returns. Raichi: Sheesh! That's the last time I ask HIM for a favor. Raichi: This article's going to wind up being extremely boring! Shampoo, you've got to help me. Shampoo: How? Raichi: Do something interesting. Shampoo: (frowns) Why don't you go take a nap? Raichi: My type never sleeps. Shampoo: Well, why don't you and your type go over there and let me finish what I'm doing here? Raichi: Okay, I get the hint. Raichi: Say, what was that I heard Kunou say about a theft from Genom? Shampoo: Nothing... (sudden thought) hey, wait a minute, you've given me an idea! She turns back to her terminal. Raichi peers over her shoulder. Shampoo: I hate it when people look over my shoulder. Raichi: (grumbles) All right, all right. I'm going. Are you afraid I'm going to steal trade secrets or something? Shampoo leaves the question unanswered as she taps into the Genom computer network. She feeds Sayuri's digitized picture in and hopes for a match. Minutes later, she gets more than she'd expected. >Possible matches: 1 >Retrieving file match... Please stand by... File #427349GNB Project: 3-3-S (Reference: A9-3) Name: Sayuri Age: N/A Gender: Female Classification: 3-3-S Sexaroid Boomer Current Status: Fugitive Notes: ...Subject has proven herself to be unable to completely adapt to duties in Food Service without further training and reprogramming, despite a notably strong desire to keep trying. Subject also lacks the ability to make tea. A program to solve this was created, but the subject escaped custody before reprogramming could be accomplished. Subjects Sayuri and Yuka are currently at large with one of our experimental mechs. ...Subject shows an extraordinary appreciation for anime, and an extreme dislike of any anime poorly dubbed into English. ...Suggested course of action is to recapture and reprogram the subject for a different line of work. >See also: > Kinu > Michiko > Ryoko > Yuka Shampoo calls up the primary reference. Reference A9-3, Project 3-3-S The 3-3-S Sexaroid Boomers were designed not only to fully simulate a living human being, but also to present a high likability factor to those around it so as to gain their trust. The current five 3-3-S models are being tested for application in the service industries. Practical military uses are being considered. Shampoo's only thoughts are of one thing: Shampoo: Shampoo: She starts for the door. Raichi: Hey! Don't go anywhere without me! Shampoo: Uh... Unsure of what to do, Shampoo pauses, aware that every second might mean the difference between life or death for her friend and fellow Knight Saber. And, in the middle of this predicament, a lone ADP recruit walks past them. Shampoo: Wills! Wills: Hm? Shampoo: (bringing Raichi over to Wills) I want you to keep an eye on Raichi, here. Wills: (leering at Raichi) Okay... Shampoo: (large industrial-strength mallet) Not **THAT** kind of eye, baka! Watch her and make sure she stays out of trouble! Wills: ...... On the way out, Shampoo wonders if she's done the right thing. Shampoo: * * * * Having managed to sneak away from her escort, Raichi makes it outside in time to see Shampoo's scooter disappearing into traffic. Raichi: Taxi!! A cab pulls up and Raichi scrambles inside. Raichi: (pointing) Follow that scooter! Driver: Miss, this is MegaTokyo, 2033 A.D., not some old movie or television show. If you want a car chase, you've come to the wrong guy. Raichi: I'll pay triple fare. Driver: Works for me! (shifts into gear and starts after Shampoo) [Editor's note: We've just found out that our normal translator has run off with our head copywriter.] * * * * Shampoo reaches the Silky Doll as Akane is putting out the 'Closed' sign. Akane: I was just about to call you. We're getting ready to intercept those tea bandits. They walk inside. Shampoo: I need to talk to you about that... She blurts out the whole story about Sayuri and Yuka, and about the tea. Ranma: Liar! Shampoo felt as if she'd been physically slapped. She hadn't noticed Ranma standing there. Shampoo: It's the truth! Ranma: (stubbornly) Sayuri's my friend. Shampoo: Yeah, well, your friend's a boomer! And... Refusing to listen, Ranma leaves the room. Shampoo: Hey, where're you going? Can't you accept the truth? Akane puts a hand on Shampoo's shoulder to hold her back. Akane: Let her be. Off in the distance, a steady wave of applause passes, but no one cares. * * * * The mysterious figures strike again. But this time, the Knight Sabers appear to block their escape route just before they can use it. Ranma, who had sat in complete silence on the way there, steps forward to see for herself who they're confronting. Ranma: (taken aback) ...Sayuri... so, it is you. It's all true. Sayuri: (shocked) Ranma...? Yuka: Ranma? Then that means- Sayuri quiets her. Akane: Why are the two of you stealing things that have to do with tea? Yuka: You don't understand! We have no choice! Sayuri: Yuka! Yuka: We want to open a restaurant of our own, but we don't know how to make tea! We've tried, but we can't! We just can't! Akane: So you've been taking all this stuff, but you still haven't been able to make tea. Yuka: (looking penitent) Yes. Shampoo: But you didn't have to go to all this trouble! They were getting ready to... upgrade you with a program that would allow you to make tea before you escaped! Sayuri: You don't know what it's like there. They were getting ready to turn us into combat boomers... for all we know, they may already have done that to our sisters! Shampoo: They haven't. Or if they have, they haven't filed it yet. The familiar flash of red and blue lights, sirens, and clapping tells all that the police are arriving. Ukyou: It's the police! When the Knight Sabers turn back, they find that Sayuri and Yuka have disappeared. Shampoo: They've escaped! Ukyou: We'll get 'em... Ranma: ......... Akane: We'd better leave, ourselves. The Knight Sabers fade into the night. Kunou stands in the open door of his patrol car. Kunou: Did you see that, Hikaru? The Knight Sabers are always one step ahead of us. Hikaru: It doesn't take that much, does it? Fortunately for Hikaru, his comment is lost in another wave of clapping. * * * * The next afternoon sees Ranma pacing the floor of her trailer, too caught up in her thoughts to sit down, having spent much of the morning searching for Sayuri and Yuka with the other Knight Sabers. The phone rings. Ranma: Hello? Yuka: It's me... Yuka. Ranma: Yuka? Where are you? Yuka: (nervous, frightened) ...It's Sayuri. She's gone off by herself in the mech we took from Genom... gone to get that program for making tea from the Processing Center. Ranma: Where are you? Yuka: Don't worry about me! Help Sayuri! I know she's going to get herself killed! Yuka hangs up. Ranma: Yuka? Yuka! Oh, damn... She dials Akane's number. * * * * At the Genom Processing Center, Sayuri blasts the weak boomers guarding the entrance to the lab where the program disk she's come for is being kept. She pushes the door open. Two lab technicians look up at her in surprise. Lab Tech: What the...? It's her... the 3-3-S boomer! Sound the- She blasts both of them. Sayuri: Don't worry. You're only stunned. The only thing I want to do today is make tea. Sayuri rifles the files until she finds what she's looking for. The alarm sounds - for a second Sayuri wondered if she had tripped a hidden alarm in the filing system, but she figures that one of the boomers in the hall had finally managed to sound an alarm. She was right - one of the dead boomers' hands rested squarely on the alarm button. Looking down the corridors, she could see no one coming. She clenched the disk tightly in her hand and chose a path, gun at the ready. * * * * Ryouga plays his part as occasional driver for the Knight Sabers by ferrying them to the Processing Center. Ukyou: (to Ranma) Why do you care if this boomer lives or dies? I thought you hated boomers. Ranma: Sayuri's no ordinary boomer. Once Ranma is out of earshot, Shampoo completes the sentence. Shampoo: ...She and Ranma are friends. Ukyou: (snorts) Yeah, right. I hope they remember that when they're staring down each others' weapons. * * * * The Knight Sabers arrive at the Processing Center. Ukyou: I don't see any activity. Akane: Shampoo? Shampoo: (running scan routines) Already on it. Looks like some kind of shootout is taking place in the right wing of the main building. Ranma: (impatient) What are we waiting for? Let's get in there! Akane: We'll split up. I'll bet my training Sayuri knows the building layouts better than any of us - so if we try to go after her all at once we might miss her entirely. Ranma, Shampoo, Ukyou: Okay! * * * * Sayuri picked off three more targets; she wondered how the Genom crew had found her so easily. Maybe she had some sort of signal device concealed within her. But that made no sense - wouldn't they have found her a *lot* sooner if she did? She heard the sound of firefights somewhere else in the building. Either Yuka had come even after being told not to, or the Knight Sabers had come - most likely on Yuka's behalf. Of course, there was also the possibility that her sisters were staging a revolt of their own, but she knew she couldn't count on that chance. Well, whoever they were, they were fighting against the same people she was. Voice: (over bullhorn) If you give yourself up now, you will not be hurt. In other words, Sayuri thought, we don't want to hurt you since you're officially the property of Genom. Sayuri: You've got to be kidding! She takes out a guard angling for a better shot at her. A laser cuts neatly through the sleeve of her jumpsuit but leaves her unharmed. She decides to move toward the other firefight she'd detected. * * * * The firefight in question was Ukyou and Shampoo facing off against a squad of the large boomers Sayuri had to get past when she escaped. Ukyou: We're not dealing with stupid people here - they were smart enough to send the big guns after us! The boomers move to overrun their position. Ukyou's shots are painfully ineffective. Shampoo: Maybe, maybe not. I think I may have found a weak spot on those damned things. Relaying the info to your targeting system now... The information flashing across Ukyou's visor brings a wicked smile to her face, one that Shampoo can almost picture. Shampoo: Have fun! Which Ukyou does, using her laser ribbons to neatly slice each of the boomers in their weak spots. All of the boomers collapse into a neat pile on the floor. Ukyou makes a motion as if to wipe her brow. Ukyou: That was easy. (broadcasting over her externals) Is that the best you can do? To answer her question, a squad of *even larger* boomers show up. Shampoo, Ukyou: ...... Shampoo: You just HAD to open your big mouth, didn't you!? Ukyou takes a swipe at Shampoo with her spatula. * * * * Sayuri edged down corridor after corridor, coming closer to the firefight, which seemed to grow louder with every few steps. Thankfully no one was around to give her any trouble - they must all have been preoccupied with the fighting. Ranma calls to her from a short distance back. Ranma: Sayuri!! Sayuri whips about instantly, her gun in Ranma's face as the Knight Saber catches up. Ranma: (undaunted) Sayuri... thank goodness I've found you. Sayuri: Ranma... Sayuri: (avoiding Ranma's gaze) Don't try to stop me. Ranma: I don't want to stop you - I want to *help* you! Sayuri: Help... me? Why? You're supposed to be trying to stop us! Ranma: Damn it, Sayuri, I'd like to think we're friends! And friends are supposed to help each other! Sayuri: You still think of me as a friend? ...After all that's happened? Ranma: Yes. That's why we came here to help you. Sayuri: (readying her gun) Then we'd better move it. It sounds like the others are in a lot of trouble. Ranma: Did you get what you came for? Sayuri: (puts her hand over her jumpsuit pocket) Right here. [Editor's note: Apparently someone in Advertising had something to do with the liason between our normal translator and our head copywriter. We'll keep you informed on the results of the internal investigation as well as any job openings.] * * * * Another boomer chases Akane through the halls. Akane: (radioing Shampoo and Ukyou) Heads up, you two! I'm bringing company your way! Ukyou: Oh, sure, join the party! We've got troubles of our own, you know! Akane: (Ignoring Ukyou's remark.) Okay. A set of double doors locked with chains bars Akane's way to the battleground. But not for long. Akane shoulder-rams through them just as her pursuer fires an array of rockets at her, and winds up literally flipping through the middle of the battleground. Shampoo, Ukyou: ...! Shampoo: Would you cut that out?!? This ISN'T the time to be showing off! Akane: Thank you so *very* much. Ukyou: (to Shampoo) Don't those things have a weak spot? Shampoo: None that I can see. One of the boomers attacks by throwing a series of wooden dojo signs like shuriken. They slice through the air just millimeters from Shampoo's head and imbed themselves neatly in the wall behind her one after the other. Ranma and Sayuri burst in from the opposite end of the battleground. Ranma: Mind if we join in the excitement? Ukyou: Why not? Everyone ELSE is! The fighting stops dead for a few seconds as a steady wave of clapping passes the building. The Knight Sabers and Sayuri regroup. Shampoo: (tiredly) We've hit them with everything we've got, but they keep coming! Sayuri: That's because these are the new 'Dojo Yaburi'-model boomers. You won't be able to defeat them by conventional means. Akane: That leaves us with only one option... Ranma: Our martial arts training! Shampoo: Right! Ranma: I'll take care of this. Akane: (figuring what Ranma has in mind) Are you sure you want to do this? Ranma: There's no other way. Sayuri: (worried) No other way... Ranma, what are you going to do? Ranma: (to Sayuri) Don't worry. Everything'll be all right. Ranma steps out from the cover. As the boomers converge on her she unleashes her final blow. Ranma: (yelling) HIRYUU SHOUTENHA!!!! Ranma's windstorm consumes the boomers, the guards, the building... and keeps going. It explodes forth from the building, uprooting the entire Processing Center, ripping it into tiny shreds that are carried high into the air. When Ranma, the other Knight Sabers and Sayuri open their eyes, they are greeted with the sight of completely leveled ground paved end-to-end with debris. Ranma takes off her helmet and rushes to Sayuri's side. Ranma: Sayuri, are you all right? Sayuri: I'm fine - I think. Heh, you'll have to teach me that trick someday. The other Knight Sabers take off their helmets, assuming that no one else is close enough to see who they are. They are unaware, however, that a camera is taking telephoto shots of them from a distance. Raichi zooms in for a closer look at the Knight Sabers' faces. Raichi: I was right! Shampoo is one of the Knight Sabers... All at once she hears a sound somewhere above her. She looks up... to see that she's right in the path of a sharp stalactite-like piece of debris falling back to Earth. Panicking, she leaves her camera behind as she leaps away - and watches, horrified, as the stalactite pierces her camera, completely destroying it. Raichi: (saddened) My camera... my camera... She looks back toward the Knight Sabers, even though she can no longer tell them apart from the rest of the distant blurry shapes. Shampoo might have been able to detect the commotion with her helmet on, but as such Raichi was thankful none of them were wearing their helmets. Akane: Now you and Yuka can open your restaurant in peace. Sayuri: But how? Akane: We can help you obtain new identities and set up shop somewhere outside MegaTokyo. Sayuri: I don't know what to say. We owe you so much... especially you, Ranma. Ranma: I didn't do *that* much. Sayuri: More than you know. Ukyou: I don't mean to pry, but whatever happened to that experimental mech you and Yuka took? Sayuri: (looks back to where she had left it) It's probably been destroyed. Shampoo: What was it? Some new kind of powered suit for military use? Ukyou: A prototype for a deadly new weapon? Sayuri: ...A golf cart for the Principal's personal use. * * * * [Editor's note: I'd like to personally apologize for any notes you may have seen here about our usual translator and head copywriter - it seems we have a co-editor with a bit of spare time on his hands and a bit of an infatuation for the head copywriter. We apologize for any inconvenience this might have caused.] * * * * After a few days, business at AD Police Headquarters has returned to normal. Another one of the new recruits sticks her head in the door of the computer room Shampoo works in to give her a message. Recruit: Shampoo, you've got a visitor. Shampoo: Be right there... Shampoo is surprised to find Raichi waiting for her. Shampoo: So, how did your article turn out? Raichi: Fine. Not as great as I'd hoped it would be, but... Raichi hands Shampoo an envelope. Raichi: Here. Shampoo: What's this? Raichi: I just thought you might like to have some shots of you and the other Knight Sabers in action. Shampoo: (acting confused) 'Me and the other Knight Sabers?' What are you talking about? Raichi: I was at the Processing Center when you and your friends destroyed it. I had some close-ups of all of you without your headgear... until my camera was destroyed. Shampoo: ...... Raichi: Don't worry, your secret's safe with me. Shampoo: ...Why? Raichi: Because of all the people I've been... 'assigned to,' and anyone who's been close to me, you didn't tell me you never wanted to see me again. I was hoping we could be friends. Shampoo: Okay, sure, but what about Ranma? Raichi: Well... I could always sic Jasmine on her. Shampoo: Jasmine? Raichi: Trust me, you don't want to know. Raichi: Now are you sure you're not doing this just so I won't go blabbing the secret of the Knight Sabers to everyone I can find? Shampoo: Absolutely. Say, you wanna have lunch this afternoon? Raichi: Why not? See you later. Raichi leaves. Shampoo carries the envelope back with her to her station, unsure of what to do with it. Unfortunately, that also left it in plain sight for Linlin and Ranran to see. Linlin: What do you have there? Ranran: Pictures? Linlin: Of what? Ranran: Boys? Linlin, Ranran: (in unison) Can we see? Shampoo sighs. ------------------------------------------------- CREDITS: Special Guest Appearance by: David Wills (Fidonet's own Raving Hentai Lunatic) Special thanks to: (in alphabetical order, or something strongly resembling it) Drew Hurlstone, Trinh Tran, David Wills, Carl Yan, and all the fans of the Bubblegum Splash! series (all ONE of you... okay, okay, I'm only kidding), as well as those mysterious 'others' I keep referring to in these sections... (otherwise known as the infamous 'Home Crew') Apologies to Rumiko Takahashi, Kenichi Sonoda, Hikaru Tooyama, Takeshi Shiina (as well as a special, humble, sincere apology to the people behind the 'Clapper...'). Everything that's left, I'd like to assume to be copyright (c) 1995 by Mike Koos. ^_^ Other 'episodes' of Bubblegum Splash! are available for FTP from the rec.arts.anime.creative archive site, ftp.cs.ubc.ca, or from my WWW pages (address below). Comments, questions, suggestions? E-mail me at the addresses below. And as for any Mystery Science Theater 3000 references I may have managed to sneak past you... ...push the button, Frank. * Mike ('Kino Makoto') Koos: makoto@cal.net * http://www.fanfic.net/~makoto * * "I can do nothing to stop you. Your background music is too strong * for me." - Sam Johnson, Whose Line is it Anyway?